Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why did he promise to marry me if he was just going to leave?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 2:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
EllaBanana13
November 10th, 2015 11:29am
Promises are made to be broken. At the time people make promises, they don't even know what could be happening in the future. Things change as time goes by.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2016 12:39pm
He was not mature enough to deal with commitment, it is better to be left alone, instead of spending times with a wrong person
Greatlistener87
July 19th, 2016 1:49am
Sometimes people make promises way to fast not knowing whether they can keep them or not. Thats why it is important not to make promises but show it by action instead. Action always speaks louder than words.
littlestolive
March 20th, 2015 1:59am
I'm sorry you're going through this hard time. Things change in people's lives all the time and no one can completely predict what's going to happen next. This unfortunately happens to a lot of people, and with time and the right coping strategies, you'll be able to make it through this and find someone who truly loves you for you.
bubblingFlower55
May 31st, 2016 10:00pm
it happened to me too,sometimes men just change their mind. or when it is getting really serious and they should take steps into commitment they get scared and run. we will never know their real intentions but what we would know very well is that such type of men do NOT worth your time nor your love
empatheticrachel
October 3rd, 2017 5:11pm
Sometimes people break promises. And it sucks it hurts but that’s part of life. People come people go and it’s weird how the world works but just know that you are worth love and he wasn’t ready to give it to you that it’s his loss. You will find the right one that will marry you never leave your side not even for a moment. They will show you unconditional love as you deserve to feel so never give up on love.
gracefullhand
May 5th, 2015 8:23am
im really sorry to hear that but first thing you need to do is Recognize Your Grief: Although you may not feel as if you are stressed over this, you probably are. Experiencing the grief of shattered dreams can take you through the stages of disbelief, bargaining, anger, depression, and anger. This is natural at a time like this. Take Care of Yourself: Do take care of yourself. Drink water, exercise, get regular sleep, eat healthy foods, and try to find ways to laugh each day. Don't Destroy Mementos: You may want to get rid of anything that reminds you of your fiance, but don't do it. Pack the letters, photographs, and other mementos away until you can rationally deal with them.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2015 4:39pm
People change, and it can be awful. He probably wanted to marry you, but something within him changed.
piag860517
July 1st, 2016 9:50pm
Well guys are not stupid, they tell us what we want to listen and the "marry me" always works...you are going to be ok, nobody dies because of a broken heart. Why you want to marry a guy that leave you, give his ring back and his promisses and move one...no better revange in this world that have a nice and happy life and let him know that!
Jaelin
May 20th, 2015 9:49pm
This is one of those questions that just seem as though... no answer is good enough. How can that be justified? And on the other hand. Maybe no one is to blame, maybe things just happen and it hurts but even though your left wondering why maybe we just have to accept that peoples hearts' change. People fall in and out of love, grow apart...find their lives going in different directions all the time. And no one is really at fault for that, it's just life, and it happens, in the end "why" just doesn't take away the fact that it happened.
BitterSweetListener
March 27th, 2017 1:35pm
I think the best person to answer that question is him, and only him. But you need to know, hun, that promises are merely words and they have this uncertainty among them. It's still best not to hold on to words as much as one does to actions.
palan
November 28th, 2017 6:11pm
People often plan to do one thing, and then do another thing. They often have the best intentions to help you, but then their own limitations come up and kinda take over. Ultimately, it's anyway your job to make you happy, so take support from others, but depend on yourself and the divine -- who will always be there for you. It is very heartbreaking though, so my heart goes out to you. Companionship can be one of the sweeter things we experience, and to have it taken from you as it was promised can be very painful -- but you'll get through it -- I promise.
spectacularBeauty75
March 8th, 2015 1:25pm
Something must have changed inside of him. Perhaps he did genuinely believe he wanted to marry you one day, but sometimes happiness does not have a straight cause and we have to keep trying and keep believing that one day it will come.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 2:50pm
Things may have changed in his mind... that's no reason to do it of course- but the human mind is complex and complicated- maybe something happened to change his mind.