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Why do I always blame myself for things I didn't do in the relationship?

11 Answers
Last Updated: 08/03/2020 at 6:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 21st, 2015 4:31pm
Because you feel guilty about the past, but it is not your fault, as you could not have foreseen what would happen.
shoulderforu
May 17th, 2015 4:56pm
because u blindly love the other person.we tend to blame ourselves when we like the other person and place them in front of us.
Incandecentembrace
February 15th, 2015 3:06pm
Usually because the other person in the relationship would have a controlling nature. With a controlling nature it would establish you to be in the wrong most of the time.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2015 6:21am
Unfortunately sometimes our other half will guilt us into feeling bad so that they don't have to....
NDS369
July 10th, 2015 8:27am
Because Im insecure and am ready to step down many a pegs and for that I prepare myself by begining to blame myself in order to keep the relationship going
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2015 4:01am
Because you do not see how great it a person you are and maybe the other person was making you feel as if you were the one that was going something wrong
Anonymous
November 17th, 2015 4:27am
It most likely is in your nature to blame yourself - after all it's the easiest thing to do. But you need to understand that some things are out of your control, and you just have accept it when other things go wrong. Blaming yourself will not improve your situation, it's okay for other's to take responsibility for their actions.
LoveYou315
May 2nd, 2016 12:02pm
When I did that, I did it because I thought that the other person was the world to me and I just wanted them to stay.. Mainly because of guilt and wanting. (wanting them to stay)
Frenchie12213
April 4th, 2017 11:25pm
You feel that you are to blame completely and that's not true, always remember a relationship is 50/50. You're trying to make things better so you think you were wrong completely, but you aren't.. And it's okay if things don't work out immediately, over time you'll realize it's not just you, just hang in there.
Allears247
June 25th, 2018 3:26pm
Some people can't take responsibility for their actions no matter what points are thrown at them and some people do the opposite and blame themselves for things they had no control over. You just need to learn that you can't change everything and some things are just beyond your reach.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2020 6:24pm
Yes, it is a mystery that why are we doing or claiming things that put us down. Here, i think it could be that you fear loosing your partner and also have serious doubts about yourself. Also it can be apprehended that your beilef that your insecurities may upset your partner and that might lead to rejection from your partner's side. The fear of rejection is one of the greatest fear we all have. Identifying what is the insecurity might help us a lot and also giving a try to discuss the problem with someone might also bring some releif and insights to the problem.