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Why do I always compare myself to my ex?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 05/10/2016 at 3:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Cynthia Stocker, LCSW, LICSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

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Top Rated Answers
gracefullhand
May 5th, 2015 8:23am
Recognize Your Grief: Although you may not feel as if you are stressed over this, you probably are. Experiencing the grief of shattered dreams can take you through the stages of disbelief, bargaining, anger, depression, and anger. This is natural at a time like this. Take Care of Yourself: Do take care of yourself. Drink water, exercise, get regular sleep, eat healthy foods, and try to find ways to laugh each day. Don't Destroy Mementos: You may want to get rid of anything that reminds you of your fiance, but don't do it. Pack the letters, photographs, and other mementos away until you can rationally deal with them.
courageouscomfort17
November 3rd, 2015 3:41am
I think it is mostly because deep down you are hurt by that person and you wonderwhat you did wrong, when you probably wweren't the problem. You try to make yourself in the same image as your ex but what you should do is just be yourself.
cellardoor1985
June 15th, 2015 2:50am
Because my emotional co-dependence only allowed me to be happy if she was happy. I happy forgotten to make my happiness my priority.
TaliWali
January 5th, 2016 5:02am
Because in some way, we all want to feel like we are doing better, like a emotional competition. We want to prove that we are doing better even without them, and at times we tend to use that against ourselves.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2015 4:38am
Its because we see a bit of ourselves in them but also the fact that the person you loved has the qualities that you want but also the qualities you percieve you have .
shiningDay13
March 17th, 2015 9:24pm
You find your ex to be an admirable person, which is a great trait to look for in a partner, so it's understandable to occasionally compare yourself to them, especially since you share a commonality with them. It's ok to look up to a person, to admire them and to appreciate their skills or whatever else it is that you like about them. But you shouldn't compare yourself to them, or to anyone else for that matter.
NDS369
July 10th, 2015 8:16am
I may do that because in the back of my mind I see him or her as a better of the two. Feel insecure?
Greatlistener87
May 10th, 2016 3:05am
It could be because of low self confidence. Remember confidence is based on how you carry yourself and difference is good. Why would u want to be like some1 else. If everyone is the same life will be boring.