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Why do I always pick mates that are not suited for me?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2018 at 12:38am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 9th, 2015 2:18am
We all make mistakes, soon you will learn from them, and pick the right people to be friends with.
usefulStar85
March 10th, 2015 11:26pm
because you feel like if they are with you they might become the person you want them to be but that's not always the case.
MelissaElissa17
April 6th, 2015 2:12am
Maybe because those type of people you choose attracts you, because you have feelings for those people.
peaser0712
April 8th, 2015 8:42pm
Whenever I realize that I've done that I've been told on many occasions that Self Sabotage is often a big culprit in that area.
BrunoFB
April 9th, 2015 1:32pm
Everbody makes mistakes in life, you should see what your previosly mates have in common both good and bad side and tink what you want in a next mate
WJB
May 7th, 2015 10:32pm
Due to slow self-esteem you normally try to find comfort zones in people who you know are out of your league and tend to ignore their shortcomings.
bouncyLion28
June 22nd, 2015 12:51am
Because we are alone so we need any person to stay alive,but that is bad you do not need a person to be ok,you need yourself to b greatful
musicalDew34
November 11th, 2015 6:41pm
Well people chang from time to time.. so when u pick those mates they all seem good but at time paases they all turn out to be something else...so dnt blame your self for them
WhatsernameG16
November 17th, 2015 8:12pm
We have the ability to choose our friends. Some will admit that they do judge a book by its cover. We're too busy thinking that they'll make us popular or cool and we ignore the fact they could be hurting us mentally and sometimes physically. It takes time to realize that and sometimes it's hard to let those friends go because they make you feel like they have control over you. You need to be able to break away and find people who will accept you and love you the way you are.
PaloP
December 28th, 2015 9:09am
We always look in our mate the things that we like to be, things that make us to be proud of our mates. But maybe, you look for something that you really don't like, but you don't know that. Or you're looking for something that you have, and you think that if your mate have it too, that would be great, but it's not true. What is the reason that makes you feel inconfortable with your mate? That is the thing that you need to think about.
SeldomCali
January 5th, 2016 2:42am
There's an old saying that opposites attract. I think it's true. If you had someone who had the same interests as you and enjoyed everything you did, you'd never be open to new possibilities. While having opposite interests is always a positive, there are some downfalls. Such as the fact you may never agree on things. In the end it's all a matter of what you want and how you like things. :)
Anonymous
February 15th, 2016 6:08pm
There are people around us, who aren't meant to be kind or friendly. I try to seperate myself from negative influences.
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2016 10:29am
We often choose the one that kills us or perhaps it's the 'opposites attracts'. We're bad at making choices because we often only use our heart.
Zebrasarcastic
June 7th, 2016 9:49pm
The people who always says the right things aren't necessarily the best ..sometimes you have to give a chance to those who shows that they're good
versatileOasis13
March 21st, 2017 4:30pm
Because that's the easiest thing to do for us, a status quo we've learned during our childhood and when we get older. We have to put a serious effort into picking the right mates that suits for us.
Buffee
August 27th, 2018 12:38am
You may just be attracted to people that are different than you. These differences come off as endearing at first, but then as you get to know them further or even further into the relationship they begin to cause conflict. I do believe in the statement that opposites attract, but I think it should be to a certain degree. Make sure that the next time you want to pursue something with someone serious, ask them what their intentions are for your relationship, what they want out of it, and where they ultimately see it going. These major questions are things you should see eye to eye on, and from there the small things can be worked out.