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Why do I always struggle with blaming myself?

11 Answers
Last Updated: 09/07/2021 at 10:19pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor

Licensed Professional Counselor

I feel my work as my personal mission and I love it. My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive. I am a very good listener. I use several approaches. Amo il mio lavoro.

Top Rated Answers
March 1st, 2015 1:13pm
That's probably because you think that you are bad. But that's not true. You are a good person. More than half of the times, its not our mistake (and this is a fact). But we end up blaming ourselves even though we know that blaming doesn't help. To overcome a bad situation one needs to make efforts to rectify the mistake done by you or someone else. Blaming doesn't solve problems; efforts do.
March 5th, 2015 11:05pm
Because sometimes we are sensitive and we want to help everyone . Sometimes it's easier to blame ourself for something that we are not responsible. But we need to take some distance and the strength to leave the problems our the struggles to other. But we can always listen.
April 20th, 2015 3:33am
As humans we are naturally self-centered beings. We have a tendency to pay extreme attention to ourselves and how we react with our environment. Because of this we feel as though we have an influence on all that is around us. We believe that we are the cause to all that happens because we do not know how to accept that some things just happen, whether or not there is someone or something to blames. Once we get into this pattern of blaming ourselves for events that happen, it gets harder to accept the fact that we are not to blame.
May 4th, 2015 11:41pm
This is a problem that a lot of people deal with, and for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it's a self-confidence issue; we don't think we're ever good enough, so why -wouldn't- it be our fault? Other times, it's due to outside, situational factors, like chronic stress or disease, or even guilt for past wrong-doings. Ask yourself this question-- you can answer it much better than anyone else ever could.
June 18th, 2015 4:21am
It could be from self esteem or that you hurt easily on some things more then others. I tend to do it to. Be extra confident if you can.
October 27th, 2015 10:03pm
Because I know that I could have done better and I deserve better! When I avoid a chance, I take it as a sign of not being able to improve myself.
February 8th, 2016 3:48am
Because we always wan't to be someone else. Be yourself , Everyone else is taken. and Original is worth more that a copy , Stop hating yourself for everything you aren't and start loving yourself for everything you are.. Positive thoughts always ! :)
September 19th, 2016 3:58am
Instead of blaming yourself, use your energy for something positive instead. Maybe like how to solve the issues that is faced or what you can learn from your mistakes instead.
October 18th, 2016 11:28am
Perhaps blaming yourself is a sign of low self-esteem and maybe a lack of self-confidence. You need to understand that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay! :) You should really work on your personalized growth path, and soon, you'll be on the path of happiness! :)
June 15th, 2020 2:02pm
Blaming yourself is an emotional way to take control of something that has probably gotten out of control or that you could not influence the way you had originally hoped. Because things in life are uncertain, it's impossible to oversee and ensure every single detail goes according to plan - BUT, we really want to! When it all falls apart we feel like we have lost control. We feel like we have failed. We feel like if we had done something different, maybe things could have turned out better. The blame is a way of absorbing that control back in an emotional manner and gives us some relief because we think that if we can change ourselves, if we can improve ourselves, if we can just learn a few more skills, everything in this life will go better. It will go according to plan, it will all work out how we expect it should. Obviously, no matter how well educated, how well trained, how well prepared we are - things are always going to go wrong; life is full of unavoidable pitfalls. We will want to blame ourselves to find some reason, some relief, some detail to hyper focus on in hopes that if we can control it - we can control how the rest of our lives will play out. Self blame can become a dangerous path of negative thinking that creates a self fulfilling cycle and adds to depression. You can feel like everything you do goes wrong, it's always your fault and the more you try to control things, the more they are utter disasters. Cognitive Behavior Therapy addresses how to approach a lot of these blaming cycles and negative thought patterns. There's a number of free worksheets online to look at and access if you are interested in learning more about breaking some of the habits of self blame.
September 7th, 2021 10:19pm
I struggle with this too to be honest. My understanding from experience as well as my understanding as a psychology major is that you might have been blamed for nearly everything growing up. Whether or not you had to do with the situation. For example, if your parents were fighting and they blamed you often, or perhaps a pet knocked down something fragile and you were blamed you. Regardless, you were probably often blamed enough that your brain learned to automatically blame yourself. And now you struggle with that issue. The important thing is to unlearn this thinking. You got this, okay hun?