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Why do I always think about him or her?

193 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 7:11am
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Top Rated Answers
MarysGrotto51
July 15th, 2018 7:06am
Obsessing over him or her is not healthy. Creating boundaries and having good self care promote positive relationships.
SilentWriter027
July 16th, 2018 8:07am
Simple. Because you care about that person, they mean something to you. Not only they're in your heart but they are also cross your mind. Every second, every minute, every hour and every single day.
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 10:24am
The people that we think the most about tend to be those that we hold dear. So im guessing that why you are thinking of him/her because you care about that person.
Tina167
September 7th, 2018 3:20pm
It can be a trauma bond if it was an unhealthy relationship....besides that it depends on what occasions do you miss your ex partner is there something which triggers you to go back to those memories,always go NO CONTACT after the breakup because it will help you to move on in life without the triggers from past..sometimes even after the end of relationship feelings just don't fade away so early.Be more patient with yourself and have an open midset,acknowledge your feeling and look out for ways to heal from this pain.You got to have a clear mindset and accept that the relationship ended for a reason most importantly avoid overthinking about it.
acloudwithasilverlining
July 29th, 2020 1:55pm
You think about him/her because the time you spent with them had a significant meaning in your life. It was an experience that could be good or bad, but a experience nonetheless and you will remember it at least for a while till you are ready to move on. And it is okay to think about them. Accept that and you will face much lesser resistance and anxiety when you have thoughts of them. If the thoughts are undesirable and you want to stop having them, accept them momentarily, experience the emotions that come along with them and then let them pass and close the box. You will feel much better.
imhereforyou112
June 8th, 2022 7:11am
You think aout them a lot because you might have some unanswered questions. People tend to think about things that they don't have answers to or find difficult to understand. You could be stuck on something from the past and didnt get closure with the person. You could be thinking about them just because you miss them or enjoy their company. You could genuinely love them that's why they might always be in your head. They have to have some type of importance or value in your life if you're always thinking about them. There are probably unanswered things you have about the person
mrswankypants
April 15th, 2022 2:55am
I feel that I always think about him or her, because when I first felt specific emotions, they brought it out in me. I had never had sexual jealousy before him/her. I had never had love before him/her. I have never had heartbreak before him/her. Because I experienced those strong emotions, for the first time, because of him/her, they will always be tied to those emotions. It is your life, and your experiences, that you draw on for knowledge, and those strong emotional experiences, that you faced for the first time, will form the basis of your understanding of those feelings. And because of that, the him/her you experienced them with first, will cause you to think of him/her when you experience, or think about those feelings or situations again.
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2022 11:48pm
Well, sometimes when you love someone or you deeply care about them, they are always on your mind because you worry about them and you want them to always be happy and content! Caring for someone can also take a toll on you because you sometimes forget about your own personal well being and you focus on them and how they are doing. The art of being able to juggle between taking care of yourself and ensuring that the other person is okay is very important because it ensures that while you are thinking about that particular person and how they are doing you are also thinking about yourself and taking good care of you.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2021 5:47am
Sometimes, it is hard to get the people we love or once loved out of our heads even when we know it isn't working the way it should. While it can be frustrating, it is something that happens to many people all across the world. Know that not being able to get them off your mind is a universal experience and that you are not alone in that frustration. It may take a while to stop always thinking about them, but that doesn't mean that you will never think about them. Be prepared to think about them sometimes, even in the most random moments. It takes time to heal fully, and its a long process so don't be discouraged if it takes a while.
Omathewise
October 1st, 2021 12:38am
Because you still have time availalbe which you used to dedicate for him or her. When you fill your time with an old or new hobby you are fond of and enjoys much, you won't find the same amount of time to think about them. So just fill your scheule with self care and self development activites as well as fun activities with old or new friends or even write stories or draw and paint, and join a club, go out to nature or have a pet. then you won't be in need to think of the time you were with him because your time is full and joyfu and you will be soon ready to have more understanding and supportive partner!
Anonymous
September 5th, 2021 3:13am
There can be a lot of different reasons. If you were in a serious relationship with a person you probably loved or cared for them deeply. It is very hard if not impossible to just drop those feelings. You are still going to care for the person even if they're not directly in your life anymore. It's not uncommon to still be thinking of an ex partner long after the relationship ended. It's perfectly normal to be thinking about them. However, it can become unhealthy when it is affecting your health, or causing you to become unhappy. That is when you have to start focusing on yourself and doing/finding activities that you enjoy.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2021 6:17pm
It can be difficult to discern why we always think about a particular person. Generally speaking, though, often if we cannot get someone off our mind, it's because that person elicits (or once elicited) a strong emotion in us. We might think often of a person who is important to us, who we love dearly, who we feel strongly about (in one way or another), or who hurt us or caused trauma to us. These types of strong emotions surrounding a person can cause that person to resurface often in our thoughts. So, if you find yourself often thinking about someone, ask yourself, what emotion do you associate with that person? What do you feel when you think about them? That feeling and the reason for that feeling, are your answer.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2021 3:20pm
someone enters your life because you both like each other. be it any relationship. you like them, feel good when they are around. they make you feel special be it for once, twice or more. all this impacts your sub conscious mind. you get attached to them consciously and sub consciously as well. it is obvious one would want to feel the good things as much frequently as possible. this is our nature. you get attached to them emotionally and they make a space inside your mind which leads to the state where you think about them almost everytime. and even if you do not want to, they strike your mind often.
HibiscusandHope
May 20th, 2021 2:27pm
Because we always see the beauty in everything. Maybe something looks beautiful, or sounds beautiful, or tastes beautiful, or feels beautiful, so it is beautiful. Other times it's the people around that make it beautiful. Every place you've been with them is beautiful because of the memories that you made their. Every food you've eaten with them is beautiful because of the person you were enjoying it with. Every sound you've heard it beautiful because it either reminded you of or came from them. What gives people the most pain or the most joy is the remembering of those beautiful things.
Anonymous
May 14th, 2021 4:30pm
Thinking about them is completely normal, whether you yearn for them or are trying to get over them it will take time. With healing comes time and you cant always find solutions overnight, you first have to accept the fact that you need time to heal and recover. This is normal and part of life. As you start to put your priorities elsewhere you will start to think of them less. Finding new hobbies that don't remind you of them might be the place to start to put your focus and energy into something else. With time you will think of them less.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2021 5:00am
When you spend a lot of time with one person, they become such a big part of your life. When they are gone, you miss that person. Even if it was bad, you remember the good they did. That's why I always think about that person for me. Because at one point in my life, they were a big part of and that will never go away. They made me feel a certain way That I liked at one point. It's not easy to get that person out of your head, and the hardest one is out of your mind. The only thing you can do is try to control those thoughts and emotions.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2021 2:18am
It is hard to say based on the limited info given. But there is someone I tend to think about a lot. Unfortunately this person and I do not speak anymore. Some people just have a certain hold on us at least for me that was the case. They come to my mind from time to time. I know we will always have a special connection even though we do not talk or see each other anymore. But I just have to keep my mind busy on other things not to think about it. It can be hard sometimes
Anonymous
March 12th, 2021 6:08pm
They may hold a significant emotion or feeling with you and it's hard to let that feeling go even if you want to let him or her go. What feelings do you think of when you think of them? There might be people that hold more emotions or feels than other people which would inherently make them harder to let go of or not think about. Try and identify what makes you think of that person and identify the events or emotions, feelings, activities that surround it. How do those feelings or emotions make you feel? Importantly allow yourself to think about it.
Seljan
March 6th, 2021 5:47am
You probably really admire or have feelings for this person. They could be a significant other, a best friend, or a crush/love. They are probably thinking about you too! Or maybe, you just lost someone who you really loved. We are always thinking about people when we lose them. Letting someone go can be very difficult. Try to keep yourself busy. You can read, listen to music, go outside, anything. If you need to vent about someone but no one is listening, journaling is a good option. It can really help you understand yourself, your feelings, and your emotions better.
sallysalad1233
December 30th, 2020 12:22am
I just want to first start off by saying that it is normal to think about someone.The main reason why you probably think about him/her is because you miss them or want to talk to them. Often times if you think about someone it is because you miss them and it completely normal. If you have known the person for a long time or talked to them for a long time, is it likely that you miss them or you may like them. And is it okay!! I hope this helps and always leave additional questions to the 7 cups community, we are always here for you
Anonymous
December 13th, 2020 7:39am
you are always thinking about him or her because you may have feelings for them and or you still like them a lot, try telling them how you feel. they may feel the same way but you will never know until you try. just be open and honest with yourself and the other person, keep your head up and your eyes forward and everything will be okay. there is no need to worry, the least that can happen is that they dont like you back but you can always find some one better than the other person that you were talking to
Laks1
November 20th, 2020 3:52pm
It isn’t easy to get people out of our heads, especially people who mean/meant a lot to us at a point in time. It is harder when we just started developing feelings for that person or when we just separated. The fact is, in a situation like this a woman or girl is less likely to control her thoughts and feelings than a man. This does not mean that men do not find it difficult to move on or cope.
Usually when we are alone or bored, thoughts and memories we have shared together race through our minds. It is bad when night falls and you’re unable to sleep, much worse when you are tempted to send a message or go on social media to lurk or see if that person is thinking about you too. Signs like this show that there is a problem. The truth is we are the only ones who can fix this.
In a case like this, it is a good idea to spend much time with a best friend who can give you advice and help you through such a journey. Today, there are several clubs and parties we can attend with colleagues and friends. There will be conversations and lots of fun to keep our mind from wandering. Reading articles with similar stories and staying in touch with people is another step.
With a little effort and a bit of space and distance for a few months, we can have time for ourselves, develop principles and beliefs that will guide our actions and most importantly realize that our lives/thoughts should not revolve around another person. Moving on does not mean we need to forget the good times for instance. Just like the stars in the skies are things we know are present even in daylight, you can carry your experiences but focus on moving on and finding new experiences and opportunities - good luck!
Anonymous
October 15th, 2020 8:36pm
Well, when you love someone really much or care for them truly that is when this particular reaction takes place. It is a strong sign that the person is of real importance to you. This is something that happens very much to me, but I accept this as part of my personality. I can only speak for myself but when someone does concern me it takes me so much time of the day and night to think at that particular person, to try to analyse everything they said, did, how the future will look like and what are the most plausible paths that I might take or the possibilities they might choose.
Anonymous
October 10th, 2020 12:14am
Because they seem very important to you, if you can't stop thinking about them then there's clearly an important relationship up ahead. Maybe indulge and continue talking to them! See how it goes! When we meet someone new our brains like to focus on them for a while, it's enrichment, and it can have a big impact on how you function daly for a while. If you have known this person for a while then maybe there's something there that you haven't thought of before, or there's something going on between you two. Either way, if you're thinking about someone you should reach out to them.
jazhelper
October 9th, 2020 2:09am
Many people may have that someone where they feel as they are always on their mind, but I assure you it is always for a reason, consider thinking about it and asking yourself, why? If you can’t, take it in small steps and don’t worry as this exercise is just to help you understand yourself more. Feel free to take this, I have related to you before as I have struggled with this, but I realized not to stress as they are human just as I. Finally, I leave you with this people will be people, and I should know.
CHT
September 25th, 2020 6:33pm
People come into our lives for many different reasons, some are good and some are bad and most really just pass through. Then there are those people, who for unknown reason reasons seem to get into our heads, again sometimes for good reasons and other times for bad reasons that we just cannot forget. Some of them pop into our heads all of the time, others pop in few and far between and others dont pop in but we summon them for reasons that we don't really know why. It could be a sound or smell memory get triggers them.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2020 3:27am
There are many reasons and it always depend on in what way they are on your mind. Some can be because of being attracted to them and are experiencing happiness and nervousness. Another can be because of an event that really inked in your mind whether if it is good or bad. Overall, if you are thinking about something it can show that it means a lot to you and it makes you tend to worry or overthink about it.
creativeMist74
September 28th, 2019 7:50pm
Hey!! I believe the person you are thinking about is someone you care for very much or you have a deep attraction. I know its hard especially when you do not know why you are feeling this way. Or if you do not want to think about him or her. A lot of people feel this way and are asking the same question. I believe the answer is you are either really attracted to him or her or you care for him or her a lot. But just remember that even though you are thinking about him or her you need to take care of yourself first.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2019 9:49pm
You may feel disconnected from yourself. Do as many things that make you happy as possible to try and find inner stability. I cannot tell you exactly what to do but I think you finding your own path will only add to the benefits of self observation. Remember that you are important on your own and don't need validation from anyone. You often think of this person and I think it is important to evaluate which occasions specifically make you think of them and try to find your own coping mechanisms from there onwards. I hope I've helped in some way.
AncientSoul
February 23rd, 2017 1:27pm
Attachment is normal, don't try to punch yourself over it, just embrace that this is normal and it may or may not disappear completely when you find a new person who you can share your life with. I, myself have found peace in that, it may not help the quest of forgetting about this person entireley but the more time passes the less you think about him or her!