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Why do I always think about him or her?

168 Answers
Last Updated: 06/05/2020 at 2:44am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology


I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
August 27th, 2016 2:06pm
I think it can be about you hate, you love, or you have to finish something (like your problem and etc) with him/her :)
August 29th, 2016 6:05pm
I think when we open ourselves up to someone we love there is a place reserved in our hearts. And in that place our minds recall those happy times and loving times in which we would like to always reside.
August 31st, 2016 12:50am
It is completely normal to think about someone after a break up or separation. It's how are emotions try to cope with the situation. You'll get through it amd eventually they will just be a passing thought.
August 31st, 2016 6:30pm
If someone is constantly on your mind, there's only one explanation behind it. You care for that said person.
September 3rd, 2016 9:57am
I guess it depends on in what way you are thinking about them. If you are thinking about a family member then you may just be worried about them, the same with a friend as well. But it could equally be someone you may have a crush on. I'd have a think about what it is you feel when you think about them and also what you think about when they come into your mind. Thinking about others is a great thing to do and it can show that you're a compassionate person especially if someone is going through a bad time themselves.
September 9th, 2016 4:15pm
The reason you do is because that the person you look for comfort in the most. Which is okay however you don't want to have your world revolved around them. That's how you get hurt and no one want that.
September 15th, 2016 7:57am
You had a connection. Connections don't go away overnight, no matter how badly we want them to. However, since this didn't work out, think positively. Now you can find someone better.. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
September 17th, 2016 10:50pm
It's perfectly normal to always be thinking about him or her, especially after a breakup, and particularly, after a long one. If you've invested your time and energy into this person, only to have the relationship end, it's natural for them to be on your mind. Try keeping busy and working on you, and soon, you'll be thinking of them less and less.
September 24th, 2016 6:22am
I know that when I think about someone a lot, it's most likely that I am attracted to him/her. Maybe you find this person attractive, maybe you find that you two have similarities and you want to know them better (and not necessarily in a romantic way). What are you feeling when you think of him/her? What do you think about exactly? Do you think this person thinks about you too? Analyze this situation and narrow it down to understand it more.
September 25th, 2016 12:40am
You will not. It depends on every person how long it takes for some thoughts to lose their strength, but generally memories, especially the bad ones, become unclear with time. I had problems with sleeping, depression and other not very nice experiences for two years after breaking out, yet after some time it wasn't as painful as before.
October 15th, 2016 10:27pm
When i think about him or her it's usually associated with pain from the past or just remembering small or little things involving that specific person
October 17th, 2016 12:22am
The right hormones and neurons fired up. You had a sense of purpose. It felt nice and safe for change.
October 19th, 2016 10:25pm
Because I care for them and maybe the are very important to me and the are special so I cannot stop thinking of them
November 3rd, 2016 2:49am
It's called a heart ache the person that you cares and loved in your life is no longer around but the pain and memory of that person you cared about will remain
November 6th, 2016 7:03am
You always think about them because you probably have a crush on them. Tell them about it and see if they like you back.
November 7th, 2016 10:57am
It is because you have already get used to him, the feeling of having him in your life. That's why when he's gone, you felt like there is something missing, and you felt incomplete.
November 10th, 2016 9:56am
I do that sometimes. It's okay to miss people but don't let it linger too long. Find something to do so that it'll take off your mind from it.
January 15th, 2017 12:18pm
When somebody is important to us, it is natural to have this person constantly on mind. It might mean, that you are in love with them, but not necessarily. Sometimes we do think a lot about people who we dislike, who we find weird etc. And that is perfectly normal. If you have just broken up with someone, it's natural to still have them on your mind. It takes time for the brain rewire. Don't fight the incoming thoughts. Just accept them, and let them go, like clouds in the sky. Sometimes all we need is time.
February 15th, 2017 3:54pm
Because you still have feelings for that person. Even if your denying it, on the inside deep down, you still have that flutter.
February 23rd, 2017 1:27pm
Attachment is normal, don't try to punch yourself over it, just embrace that this is normal and it may or may not disappear completely when you find a new person who you can share your life with. I, myself have found peace in that, it may not help the quest of forgetting about this person entireley but the more time passes the less you think about him or her!
March 1st, 2017 6:34pm
They're an important person in your life. You've invested a large part of yourself in that person, and it makes sense that they would still be in your thoughts! The fact that you're thinking about someone just goes to show that you're human. Over time you'll grow as a person and that investment won't seem quite as serious, but for now it's taking a lot out of you. Just give it time :)
May 4th, 2017 8:06pm
Simy because you care for them, but no matter what this is not a bad thing. It makes you human and a great person because you do, even if you dont want to admit it, care for them or miss them in a way.
May 5th, 2017 4:06am
Once you latch onto a thought, it gathers more and more momentum. When you can’t stop thinking about someone (or something) it’s because you’ve jumped on the thought and let it run away with you. Let the thought be there, but don’t engage with it. Get on with something else; do something you enjoy, concentrate on your work, have a chat with a friend about something completely different – anything. Draw your attention to the present.
May 13th, 2017 7:52pm
You tend to think about him or her because they were more than likely a big part of your life at some point and sometimes things are hard to move on from
June 9th, 2017 8:06pm
He makes me smile and feel good about myself. He makes me feel safe and worth something. He makes my days better than they would ever be able to be.
September 22nd, 2017 2:19pm
May be he or she had been your part of your life in past and s/he was the one you love most and you still love them..and you cant let him or her go..But life is short and you have to move on and let them go..thinking always about them will make you stuck in your life
November 16th, 2017 7:01am
perhaps you love that person enough where you think about them a lot. it really does depend on your situation.
November 22nd, 2017 8:23am
Because you are concerned about her/him that you want to help or be with them in very situastion
December 6th, 2017 8:09am
It’s just that undescribeable feeling that we both have. I wish I knew what he was thinking when we both stared at each other from afar across the room.
December 15th, 2017 4:34pm
Because there are people who just become special in your life. They know you and how to push you buttons and you cannot resist to bare yourself to them, to be vulnerable and real. It is always their eyes that you want to gaze upon you, their hands to embrace you. They don't leave your thoughts even if they leave your life...