Why do I always think about him or her?

156 Answers
Last Updated: 09/28/2019 at 7:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology


I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
January 3rd, 2018 10:38am
maybe you might be concerned about them, or maybe you might have developing feelings for them, if you havent already
January 10th, 2018 5:57am
Before a downfall, you had a connection that only you two had, and it is hard to let go. It takes time to ultimately let go but it is not impossible.
January 13th, 2018 4:10am
you could be thinking about them because you miss their compainship, which made you feel happy and possibly loved around them
January 17th, 2018 1:35pm
Because they were an important person in you life at one stage and maybe even now. Its natural to think of people you care and have cared about.
January 20th, 2018 9:28pm
Your brain will never forget about someone/something. And if you like/love that person, not thinking about them can be hard. But the best way to stop thinking about someone is to remove them as a part of your life. If you cannot do that, try to minimise contact with them and work through whatever you are thinking about.
February 7th, 2018 6:33am
you might be in love and have deep feelings try to come into terms and understanding these feelings.
February 15th, 2018 8:24pm
It sounds like this is a person who is very near and dear to you, and is a special part of your life.
February 23rd, 2018 9:20pm
Something about him or her intrigues you to the point their constantly on you mind. Sometimes it be that you have the urge to want to talk to them.
April 11th, 2018 7:13pm
Because I enjoyed the experiences we had together, wether good or bitter, and I am refusing to allow myself to share more good experiences with new partners. I got myself stuck in the pst and I realise it. But acknowledgement by itself is a good reminder of the healthy pin-points that encourage me to move forward.
April 11th, 2018 9:27pm
Depending on in what context you think about him or her, your brain may be signalling so,e sort of connection you have made with them.
April 20th, 2018 5:08am
It's natural to be nostalgic about good memories. It's like enjoying a good cartoon as a child. Now whenever you'd see another cartoon with similarity, you'd recall the old one you enjoyed. It's only human.
April 27th, 2018 7:17pm
i always think about him because he is so amazing, i love him so much he makes me feel warm and safe, he is always there for me and stands up for me. i love him
May 10th, 2018 5:22am
Well i guess were talking relationships here. I think its nice to feel loved and when that happens its nice to think about the ones we love. I dont know if ALWAYS thinking about someone is healthy to be honest. Ive always thought the idea is to live your life as you would normally and then adding that special someone to it is .y idea of a healthy relationship. If i thought about that someone all of the time i would worry that i would lose part of who i am. Having someone consuming your thoughts would lead to other areas in your life not getting the attention they require - other areas such as yourself. Ive definitely had my share of having that special guy always on my mind but that has never worked in my favour. I guess experience teaches you to learn how to balance your thoughts which of course ultimately dictate your actions and emotions. I think its always important to ask yourself questions such as "is he thinking of me all of the time?" I guess it would be ideal tp have someone who is on the same page which includes amounts of time spent thinking about each other. Just my 2cents worth! Good question! ☺
May 12th, 2018 8:26pm
because you love them and when you love someone you cant stop thinking about them.. there name alone makes you smile ear to ear there scent drives you crazy
May 19th, 2018 12:25pm
you may be attracted to them or they're just a really good person/friend to you and you can't live without em.
June 20th, 2018 2:37am
When someone is stuck on my mind I walk myself through a mental quiz. If it is a romantic situation I make sure the person is on my mind because of the way their words/personality has affected me and not looks or money. If it is a person that has affected me emotionally in a sad way then I do my best to remind myself that I can't let others bring me down with negativity.
June 20th, 2018 5:53pm
You have spent a considerable time with the person where you were highly emotionally attached. It is ok to think of them every once in a while. But if it is hampering your day to day life or your work, it is best to overcome the unresolved issues that you may have by either talking to the person or to one of us here at 7 cups.
June 21st, 2018 1:11am
sometimes when senate trying not to think about something, we start to constantly thinking about how you can forget about it and in the end you drawing of thoughts.
June 21st, 2018 3:38pm
Everyone always leaves a mark in our lives, whether good or bad so it makes sense to always think about the person.
June 23rd, 2018 10:42pm
I think that you might have a little crush on the person, you'll wonder about them, how they're doing and what they think about you.
June 29th, 2018 7:59am
becuase their memory is so near and dear to you that the thought of them gone hurts, and it will hurt for a while, there's no way around it but to try to move on and forget, it may seem so difficult now but i promise in the long run things will be different and they will be a distant memory.
July 1st, 2018 12:52pm
because all you want is to be with him or her, spend some time together, have fun, but you're not sure what the other is doing.
July 7th, 2018 3:11pm
This is an absolutely normal reaction to experiencing losing someone who was a big part of your life. You shared a lot of positive and happy memories together. Have compassion for yourself, and allow yourself to have those memories, but don't dwell on them.
July 15th, 2018 7:06am
Obsessing over him or her is not healthy. Creating boundaries and having good self care promote positive relationships.
July 16th, 2018 8:07am
Simple. Because you care about that person, they mean something to you. Not only they're in your heart but they are also cross your mind. Every second, every minute, every hour and every single day.
July 25th, 2018 10:24am
The people that we think the most about tend to be those that we hold dear. So im guessing that why you are thinking of him/her because you care about that person.
September 7th, 2018 3:20pm
It can be a trauma bond if it was an unhealthy relationship....besides that it depends on what occasions do you miss your ex partner is there something which triggers you to go back to those memories,always go NO CONTACT after the breakup because it will help you to move on in life without the triggers from past..sometimes even after the end of relationship feelings just don't fade away so early.Be more patient with yourself and have an open midset,acknowledge your feeling and look out for ways to heal from this pain.You got to have a clear mindset and accept that the relationship ended for a reason most importantly avoid overthinking about it.
September 26th, 2018 5:42am
If you honestly love them then their will always be those feelings, and thoughts. Best thing you can do is either only remember the good things and always keep the memories. If you love the person still then you got to do what only you feel which is right short term and long term, love is difficult and life is better when you have someone there with you that you feel comfortable, that person means so Much to you, you will think of them and slowly if you really wanna stop thinking of them when it’s time you will find yourself not thinking of them.
September 29th, 2018 4:22am
If things are going well, they are in your life and they make you happy, his doesn’t have to be a bad thing. For me, I found myself returning often to an ex, which wasn’t healthy. This happened to me even though I knew it wasn’t right, and honestly that I didn’t even want to get back together with him. I realized I was addicted in a way, and had to deal with it in those terms. Sometimes you have to cut yourself off from a toxic situation that your brain has gotten used to. Your brain can play tricks on you and make you think you have a connection or something irreplaceable with someone just because it’s used to thinking about that other so much. Remember that you ultimately really can control your thinking to an extent, but it takes effort and real will. Think about whether this person is really worth your thoughts, and if not, considering really trying to cut them out.
November 21st, 2018 7:19pm
Why do i think about him/her. I would say they give you hope make you feel special. That knot in you stomach its not from hunger its from wanting to be with them so bad. You have to remind yourself to eat a love like you have never felt surrounds you and all you can think about is when can we get together to hug and hold, look into their eyes smell them. Talk about the future its the one time or many that nothing else matters. You lose all track of time hours talking, walking laughing dreaming. Nothing in the world is more than those moments, and if you....at least once a day think about your beginnings, time will stand still.