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Why do I feel like I'm cheating on him still, even though we broke up months ago?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 05/07/2022 at 1:54pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
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Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

Counselor

I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 14th, 2015 4:54pm
because you still have feelings for him and you are not over him yet..... give yourself some time before jumping into a new relation
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 11:27pm
Sometimes, when we share our lives with someone for so long, its hard to make any decision or take any action that truly feels independent of our significant other, even if its after breaking up. This is perfectly natural and perhaps its a sign that you are not yet ready to share with someone new
MeganL91
April 19th, 2017 9:54pm
This is normal. I have gone through this after breakups in the past. You may still feel emotionally involved with him for a while after breaking up, especially if your relationship was a long one. Take comfort in knowing that these feelings will fade and eventually disappear. I know this from experience. Good luck and hang in there!
Anonymous
March 29th, 2018 8:49pm
When I am trying to get on with my life and I talked to somebody else it's bothersome simply because of the transition you have shared something so wonderful and beautiful with someone before and you strongly believe well as for me I believe that there is still something there. In my own head I am waiting for that quick phone call or that text message or even an email from that person that I love that for whatever reason caused The Break-Up to come back to me that she has forgiven me so when I do open up to someone else as I try to get on with my life it's easy to quickly feel that I am cheating on the woman that I love so much so I just have to learn to readjust to a new transition from one person to another
Anonymous
December 21st, 2017 10:21pm
Because the love is still there and it is very difficult to let go. Just because you both broke up doesn't mean the love disappeared. Learn to forgive yourself for the break up. It happened for a reason. Let your heart be at peace and remind yourself that you no longer have to feel guilty because you all are not together.
Imperfect84
November 12th, 2017 12:58am
You most likely are still in love with him. I know it's a difficult feeling because you want to move on
AHelpfulPoet
May 18th, 2019 10:17am
Love runs deeper than any other human emotion. It creates rivers in the soul, that last forever. A part of you will always love him. A part of you will always cherish the connection you had. And that part may always feel loyal to him, and it may be why you're struggling to move on with someone else. But this won't last. That part of you will fade over time, as your heart realises what you truly want. It's not easy, by any stretch. But it is part of the recovery process. Accept that you still have that feeling, somewhere inside your heart. Be proud of it, for it shows you're a loving human being. But learn to not let it control you.
Yarakh
August 6th, 2017 2:04pm
Hello .. my name is yara and im glad to help you through this .. Because you loved him with all your heart .. but youre not doing anything wrong as long as youre not with him anymore .. live your life .. enjoy every second with anyonr who makes you happy and forget everything who makes you sad .. and im here if you want to talk about anything
Anonymous
July 28th, 2015 6:18pm
Sometimes the guilt of something you've done lasts longer when you care about someone so deeply. I know from personal experience, that while I have had relationships and friendships fail, I still feel like I am betraying them when I am without them. Sometimes it just takes more time to get past an event or person, but it is totally possible!
Anonymous
May 7th, 2017 9:36pm
Even if you broke up, it's entirely possible you still have feelings for him. What you're feeling now is guilt and that's perfectly normal. Don't be afraid to just give it time. If you still feel guilty, try speaking to your ex.
Danielle20018
July 26th, 2018 1:25am
It is easy to feel that way when you love someone. A breakup up is one of those things that you have to take one day at a time.
Honeypuffs99
October 2nd, 2016 1:07pm
This might be because you still love him and are still in a way emotionally commited to him. As time passes, this problem will probably dissapear on it's own.
justIzzie
January 3rd, 2017 4:57pm
It often takes a while to fully move on from a serious relationship, and despite you may feeling better from the break up it may feel strange for you to move on. Often people just need to take a first step into moving on to realise that they are ultimately ready to do so. However, it is also common that others may have feelings left for their previous partner (despite being able to admit it or not). It is thoroughly important to not rush into thing sin this situation. I advise to sit down and spend some relaxing time on your own to reflect on your feelings and emotions. Only once you are certain should you take action, for the benefit of not just the mental health of the people around you but your own mental health also.
GaurdianAngel1989
September 13th, 2016 5:40am
You are not over him yet therefore your heart has not let go. You probably think he might return to you. Get him out of your system.
kal1027
November 11th, 2016 12:44pm
Could be your still feel emotionally connected to him, therefore, investing in someone else might mimic a "cheating" feeling. These kinds of things don't happen over night. The heart needs to heal and that takes time. It is natural for the body to feel some guilt when it does something out of routine. You'll get there, keep your head up.
Rebelyell90
November 3rd, 2016 9:47am
You still feel an attachment and connection to him, which effects your ability to move on, so you feel like you are cheating on him.
Ishaa25
September 23rd, 2016 5:48am
I feel the same way, it is natural. After break ups, it is not certain to lose all the feelings for him. You may still feel connected to him but helpless as well. And when you try to break through this " helpless" situation, You sense that you are cheating on him. But it is the right thing to do in order to move on.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2019 9:09am
If you feel like you have been cheating your partner even after you have broken up with him/her about months ago. That would be because you are still not moved on. Basically you are still in love with your partner. Your heart and mind still feels like you should be loyal to the one you love. It can be very frustrating at times. However, its good to realize that life is not all about being the same person forever. Sometimes we have to realize that somethings are better off without us and we need to leave it as it is if that is causing us any harm or mental torture.
colourfulWillow64
December 2nd, 2018 5:36pm
You may feel this way because you may have loved him. In a way you are still connected to him and still hope he comes back. Honestly, you are not cheating it only feels that way maybe because of the way it ended. You could try and get closure from him and see if there is any way you can get back together if you still have feelings for him. Ask people for support maybe try to move on if thats what you are seeking. But this really sounds like you still have feelings for him if you are feeling that way
lilpuppy
September 27th, 2019 7:37am
Maybe, because you still feel emotionally connected to him. In your mind, you are still together, though in reality, the situation is different. It takes time to move on from a break up, especially if the relationship was a significant one. It's okay to feel those confusing, mixed emotions in the aftermath. And there's no shame in feeling what you are feeling or thinking what you are thinking. Give yourself that time and space to heal and to recover. You might not be able to forget someone you once shared memories with, but over time, the attachment tends to lessen and slowly, day by day, things seem to be getting slightly easier. So, take that time.
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2019 3:37pm
Maybe the guilt stayed with you even after you broke up. You may be feeling guilty that you breaking up was the cause of you having that relationship. Guilt is ok. It shows you know what you did was wrong and you feel the slightest bit of remorse. As time goes by you may learn to shed that guilt. You will eventually not feel guilty and you will learn to understand how to move on. To forgive and forget. It is never easy, but time will tell and show you soon. Good luck with your soon future relationships!
Anonymous
January 5th, 2020 4:29pm
That's probably because you still love him honey and you just can't accept the fact that it's over between you two so it's only logical that you see him in other guys and his on your mind everywhere you go so please baby girl it's not to late maybe he feels the same way and you can still find out whether he still likes you. You are in love and you deserve all the happiness in the world so I say go for it love you only live once and you need to get your answers and when you do you have to leave happy.
bellarina74
January 31st, 2020 9:15pm
You still have strong feelings for the person you were involved with and may not be ready for new relationships yet if you are feeling this way. Take your time moving forward. Grieve the loss of the previous relationship and become independent of your ex partner. Finding yourself and reflecting on your previous relationship will ensure you are trying not to repeat the same behaviors which contributed to the break up to begin with. Try spending time with friends and family who are independent of him and have your best interests at heart. You will be surprised how quickly you find yourself again when you surround yourself with people that care for you.
DrMcKenzie
April 10th, 2020 8:58pm
Sometimes when we are so attached to someone it is hard to annul those feelings. We associate them with every aspect of day to day living, so when they are gone it seems wrong to do those things without them. We find it hard to disassociate them, especially if we did not get closure in the relationship. I find it helpful to try and associate those situations with smells, or emotions, maybe even a color that is popular during those activities. There is no defined way of erasing someones memory, and most of the time we don't want to. We just want to enjoy life without them.
ryanjsmith
October 21st, 2018 3:05pm
Letting go of someone can be difficult, especially if you were with them for a long time and felt really in love with them. They become a part of your life, more like a lifestyle, and when that gets taken away it can be tough. You need to remember that you don't owe him anything, and you two are seperate now. You deserve to be happy and therefore you need to do things for yourself to stay happy, or else you'll be stuck with these thoughts forever. You might still feel attached to him; it can be difficult to let go, but you're free to do what you wish now, so just try to enjoy yourself now and forget all about him.
gredondo
April 23rd, 2020 10:22pm
It is normal and completely valid to have some lingering emotions for a person you had relationship with, and shared so much with. Think about the dynamics of your relationship, and how some behaviors might have been bad for you or unhealthy. Sometimes, the past stays in our mind for long, and inhibits us to work on our current task. It really helps to be mindful, to live in the present, not the past or future. Think about how you could improve and work on yourself, instead of focusing on what others think about you. Always remember your feelings are valid but not necessarily rational.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2020 12:13am
It can be very challenging moving on from a relationship that meant a lot to you. Even after several months you can still feel as though you haven’t moved on from the relationship. The best thing to do is to put yourself and your mental health first, deliberately engaging in positive behaviours, and only move on to dating other people when ready. I can understand that it is frustrating feeling as though you should have moved on from something which is still affecting you, but remember that you will be okay, and that although everyone heals at their own pace, you will heal.
brightRiver5164
February 8th, 2020 8:39am
Maybe your heart still beats for him. it is better to move on. Do not overthink about it. clear your mind from all thought of him. Do what you like, involve yourself in activities that keeps you busy, do not avoid places where you visited with him. keep a good friend close to you, spend more time with your friends. go out places and enjoy weather,evening and your favorite food. Cut him completely from your life. Do not make a full stop on your life just because someone betrayed you. Don't stop and keep doing good work in your life.
Niktu58
April 10th, 2020 2:26pm
There are several reason a person may feel as though they are cheating on someone that aren't intimate with any longer. It can be difficult to move on from someone we have loved and cherished and planned to have a future with. Perhaps you are a loyal person who doesn't give up on the people around you that you care about. The attachment to your ex- boyfriend was/is stronger than you expected. It might be that you aren't quite ready to move on from the relationship having left something unresolved; or your heart is telling you that to focus on yourself- taking a break from a relationship. And it may be a combination of all of these things depending on the day. Everyone processes a break up in there own time be patient with yourself.!
sunshineGrotto7327
March 18th, 2020 8:00pm
Its happen when we are attached with someone strongly,so its natural.Due to strong affections sometime its feels like that but its doesn't mean u are cheating with him.Love is the strongest feeling that we have. Whenever we leave our beloved someone due to some reason or without any we need some time,someone we treats us in a better way.its help like healing a wound. They works like ointment. When we don't have such people in our lives we automatically miss that's part of our daily life routines that we have leaved.so that is the basic reason why we miss or feel like we are cheating.