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Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?

225 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2022 at 9:58am
Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Aprtylittlemess
May 22nd, 2016 2:31pm
ou may feel lonely with your partner if your heart is closed because you are protecting yourself from hurt with your anger or withdrawal. You cannot connect when you are closed and protected. You may feel lonely with your partner when your partner is closed and angry, or withdrawn and uncommunicative. You will feel lonely if your partner deliberately shuts you out with work, TV, food, alcohol, hobbies, the Internet and so on. You may feel lonely when you are trying to have control over your partner’s feelings by giving yourself up. Being inauthentic in order to control how your partner feels about you does not lead to authentic connection. You may feel lonely with your partner when one or both of you are closed to learning when a conflict arises. The unwillingness to have open communication about important issues creates walls between you. You may feel lonely if you or your partner use your sexual relationship as a form of control. You will feel lonely if you or your partner stays up in your mind rather than being together with open hearts. Intellectualization can be interesting at times, but after a while it can feel flat and lonely. You may feel lonely if your partner judges you regarding your thoughts, feelings, looks or actions. Judgment creates disconnection, and disconnection can be very lonely. You may feel lonely when you or your partner can’t connect due to being overly tired, frazzled and overwhelmed, or ill.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2016 7:38am
probably because you are not getting enough attention like you deserve
7CupsCarlos
June 5th, 2016 11:29pm
a lot of reasons why I feel alone in my relationship is due to the lack of understanding or empathy that we have for each other. We're so quick to judge sometimes, yet we don't have the patients to sit and actually listen to what the other person wants.
simplisticmoon
July 16th, 2016 3:59am
I feel alone because I feel as if my actions and feelings are not reciprocated by my boyfriend. I feel like he's my one and only, but I'm just another girl for him to date.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2016 5:59pm
He doesn't fulfill your needs. You want something from him and he doesn't give you what you want, and I'm not talking about material stuff. I think you should talk to him and tell him what you need and ask him if he can do that.
KleineHaschen
May 25th, 2016 5:08pm
Sometimes, when two people are in a relationship for a certain amount of time, everything becomes normal, you lose that connection between you guys, you feel that the relationship you used to have isn't there no more and that you alone are in this relationship.
happyhormones
June 19th, 2018 12:40pm
Hi! I think, you feel alone in your relationship because: (1) Your partner might not be understanding you enough or just letting you deal with your problems by yourself; (2) Your partner isn't giving you enough attention or concern; (3) Both of you haven't established a strong connection with each other; (4) He/she isn't there for you; you are the only one fighting and making a move in your relationship. That's all based on my experiences. Hehe
SMStar
July 9th, 2016 12:27am
Relationships are not a cure for loneliness. This is one of the big deceptions. Expect to feel lonely from time to time... Even when you are surrounded by others.... Even when you are in a relationship... Even when you love others and they love you. Loneliness is a natural and normal part of the human experience. It may not always feel like it, but loneliness is a great teacher. Spending some introspective time with yourself and your thoughts can give you great insights about life and who you really are. Loneliness reminds of what we truly desire, and creates longings that drive us out of our comfort zone into new experiences. The answer is not always to run and hide from loneliness or to rush to fill it with brain-numbing activities and distractions or a new relationship. Face your feelings of loneliness. Ask 'what is my loneliness trying to teach me?' Ask 'what do I bring to this relationship'? and 'What does this relationship bring to me?'. If the bad outweighs the good, it may be time to cut ties and set him or her loose, but know that no relationship will ever take away your loneliness entirely. No single person will ever completely meet all your needs. But, if you find a good person, you can support each other, learn from each other, and enjoy the ride together. Good luck :)
WinterFlute
May 15th, 2016 9:38pm
Maybe because your partner is not around you always and you long for his/her company. Give your partner some space and try not to latch on to the person always. Remember, you cannot impose yourself on your partner. A relationship has to work out on mutual understanding.
BestMotivationer
July 31st, 2016 12:53am
Maybe you feel so alone because you're not getting the attention that you want or the connection is as strong.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2016 3:53pm
In every relationship we can feel alone. We can feel that the other person doesn't care for us. Maybe their actions make us feel alone. I think that there should be done some talking about it.
SarahLove
May 17th, 2016 9:31pm
You feel alone in your relationship because you're not spending enough time with your significant other, as LoveForAllOfYou said. You also may not feel as close to your significant other as you previously felt. Ask yourself if anything has happened recently that may be causing you to feel this way. For example, have you argued or had any disagreements with them? This tends to make people feel like they are growing apart from their partners at times, and can make them feel alone even though they are in a relationship. -Sarah
TheBlackPanther
May 22nd, 2016 4:29pm
As said by WinterFlute, "A relationship has to work out on mutual understanding". Which means both should understand each other, not only the physical needs but also the mental states, and try to give comfort to each other. A relationship blossoms only when we connect at soul level, like we used to play with our friends in childhood. So what to do now, when its not working out? One way is to talk out your feelings to your partner. An understanding partner will never allow same situation to happen. The core of any relationship is emotional support and emotional joy. If at first it does not work, talking again and again might change things for better. Otherwise the second step is to look for another partner, who can truly support you, at least emotionally. However this step is a gamble, you may win or loose. If you don't resonate with the 2 above, you may choose to live alone. Practice meditation and read spiritual stuffs. It greately increases self-confidence in you. Overtime you will find that you don't need to depend on people too much. Plus you can always go for movies, or favorite music to kill loneliness feelings. Actually it just requires to shift your focus from something undesireable (i.e. loneliness), to something you enjoy. You just need to train your mind for this. Also you can always have a chat with someone on 7cups if you are feeling lonely. Its a great way to share your feelings, and get any help not mentioned here.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2016 1:51am
I am really sorry you feel this way, but I want you to know this is not uncommon. Perhaps, your partner is not empathetic to your needs and you are not able to communicate emotionally at some level. I hope you can work through this together and if needed take needed help.
reeyseelbeel05
June 9th, 2016 3:16pm
You feel alone because communication, transparency and trust are missing. You maybe feel alone because your partner is not giving you enough time or maybe you are not sharing your thoughts with him or her. It is a matter of open communication with your partner in order for you to feel secured and despite of challenges you still feel like you are not alone for the battle.
m4x1m1l14n
May 18th, 2016 7:10am
More likely than not, it's because you've disconnected from each other in a significant way; you're together but leading separate lives. Make every effort to reconnect and don't let anything or anyone stand in your way.
lorarose
December 16th, 2016 4:36pm
You may feel lonely with your partner if your heart is closed because you are protecting yourself from hurt with your anger or withdrawal. You cannot connect when you are closed and protected.
BeautifulOutlaw
September 15th, 2016 9:35am
The worse feeling is feeling alone, even when your significant other is present. If they're not paying attention to you, showing the care and love you need.. You can feel alone. Try talking about it to them.
BasilAngel
July 31st, 2016 3:27pm
Sometimes one person puts their all into a relationship while the other gives almost nothing. A relationship is a team effort and it can't be done all by yourself. If you think that you're the main contributor to your relationship, it might be time to think about your happiness and whether or not your partner is giving as much energy to you as you are to them.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 9:47pm
Maybe your partner is emotionally unavailable, therefore isn´t giving you the affection and attention that you need.
rubytheforth
August 6th, 2016 4:34pm
Sometimes when we're having a relationship with someone who's different from us and/or who has different ideas, and this thoughts might make us feel alone in our relationships. But we should remember that not everyone is the same and we should show some empathy to the other person. Sometimes empathy is the only way for us to accept others ideas and it enables us to think the way they do.
ascs
June 9th, 2018 8:51am
Maybe you aren’t connected to your partner mentally. You should talk to your partner about your feelings and their feelings too.
tranquility03
November 27th, 2019 5:29am
Relationships can be tough. I think sometimes we tend to get wrapped up in the whole "honeymoon" stage and forget how much work it really takes for a strong relationship to develop. Why do you think you feel so alone? Do you feel like both of you are working towards a stronger future together? I have asked myself the same question about feeling alone before in some of own past relationships. Despite whatever the circumstances, I realized the one thing that would always make me feel alone, was if we couldn't laugh together, or make each other laugh. That can hurt your heart. What makes your heart hurt that causes you to feel so alone in your relationship? Maybe something to think about.
Greatlistener87
May 20th, 2016 8:15am
If you feel this way please talk to your partner about it. Might be an unresolved issue that is eating at your relationship.
blissfulembroiderer06
May 20th, 2016 6:08pm
Every relationship is unique, but one should never feel alone in it. While it is easy to get many emotions mixed with the idea of loneliness, perhaps you need to reevaluate what makes you feel loved in your relationship.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2016 3:32am
It really depends on how you feel in the relationship, if it makes you happy but you feel alone, it could be that you are not spending enough time together, or doing things that you can both enjoy. If you feel like you are in the relationship for the sake of it, you could feel alone because you no longer have feelings for the other person and maybe it is time to consider moving on.
LukeJRV
October 17th, 2017 10:46pm
You may feel alone in your relationship due to your partner not seeing the same picture you have created in your mind. He / She might see something different: 'Blurred Lines' which would mean it's not as clear to them as it may be to you. To feel alone in your relationship- He / She may not be supporting you, maybe it feels like you are doing all the work! They make you feel lonely due to you not noticing that they are not putting as much effort as you are in your relationship. It's rather they are using you, or they are feeling low & don't know how to support you. Sometimes it could just be that the person in your relationship is not interested in you at all. Which would mean that you are building upon false hope. You can't just go with as this will result in Depression due to you convincing yourself there is still something worth fighting for. But it's just a facade. Even I can see that...
Anonymous
June 15th, 2016 5:49am
I feel alone in my relationship when I hide fro myself. Sometimes I don't want to face the pain that I am feeling so I run away through obsessive avoidant activities. In a place like this I can't connect with myself let alone anyone else. This is a cycle that breeds isolation for me. I am learning how to reach out for help.
caringOne24
June 5th, 2016 6:25am
many people tend to experience feeling alone in a relationship. if it were me, i would try my best to communicate with my partner to fix my issue with feeling alone.
compassionateDay97
April 22nd, 2018 10:56pm
Why do you? What makes you feel that you are alone? Do you feel your needs are not getting met? Has your relationship run it's course? I would suggest to have an open discussion with your partner about these worries.