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Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?

225 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2022 at 9:58am
Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
Melil94
October 20th, 2016 1:23am
It is common to feel alone in a relationship when you feel the other person does not understand you fully. Be open about the way you feel and see if this helps form a stronger bond between you.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 4:24pm
Maybe, you both don't spend much time together or you're not connected closely. Try to get to know each other more.
NeptunePH
October 28th, 2016 6:56am
This could be due to a lot of reasons. Maybe your partner doesn't really talk to you, maybe the conversations feel empty and thoughtless, maybe it's just in your head. Try thinking if the issue is really there, if you are 100% sure there is an issue, try talking to your partner. I'm sure he/she will understand and be happy to talk about it.
GayGuyListens2975
October 29th, 2016 4:32am
Feeling alone can be heavily related to lack of communication in a relationship. It is difficult to feel loved or wanted in a relationship when you don't feel like they want to be around you which can also be caused by anxiety making you overthink and effect the trust of a relationship.
Anonymous
October 29th, 2016 7:32pm
Do you have the same goal for the relationship in mind? Have you talked about your feelings? Have you tried Expressing what you feel?
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 3:38pm
In my personal experience, feeling alone in a relationship was the result of not having the intimate connection to the other person. The interesting thing was that working on myself first, getting to know myself was the most important part in uncovering ways to recognize what was missing.
Jack2407
November 16th, 2016 11:52pm
Living in a relationship, especially for a longer period of time, sometimes makes us think that its granted, therefore we do not focus on our partner that much anymore, many things come and distract us one from an other. At some point we are to realise, that the only thing left in common with our partner is a label "relationship", and that in fact we have nothing in common nor really know each other anymore. From my experience, it is important to include you partner in your life actively - everyone changes, and being with someone is also keeping up with them, but if we already are at the point of loneliness and pointlessness of a relationship, why not to get to know one an other again?
Anonymous
November 18th, 2016 9:52am
Communication is key in any relationships and without it a lot of the time it can result in a sensation of isolation. Sometime's it's hard to build up communication and to communicate healthy but if you want the relationship, it's well worth working on the communication!
uniquecreature41
November 18th, 2016 7:30pm
If you're feeling alone in a relationship it probably isn't too healthy. Hard as that might be to admit, a relationship should make you feel loved, cared for, warm and secure. It should be the good thing in your life, the icing on the cake. Experiencing isolation is a good indicator that you've either drifted apart or didn't have a great deal in common to begin with. Perhaps you've stopped understanding each other or something has come between you. If it's something you can work on, give it a go. If you've tried to no avail, maybe it's time to start thinking about a different life for yourself.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2016 10:16am
Relationship is a two-person thing. Maybe you feel disconnected with your partner. Try talking to each other more often and know each other better.
AdelineJ
December 12th, 2016 8:29pm
You may not be getting what you truly need out of the relationship -- this could be because your significant other isn't offering it, because you're not asking for it or because you're asking too much from the relationship. I'd suggest reaching out to your significant other + asking them how they feel + how they see the future of your relationship.
bluecily128
December 16th, 2016 3:03am
If you are feeling lonely in your relationship; it means that your girlfriend or boyfriend is not paying attention to you. I suggest you talk them in person about how you are not feeling great in a relationship with him and how you want this relationship to go. Relationship is not for one person, it is for both of you two. It cannot be one doing all the things and the other doing nothing.
Afer
January 7th, 2017 2:10pm
Feeling alone can come from a number of things, but in my relationship it was about me and my partner having different ways of repairing ourselves. I needed a bit of alone time when things got strained, whilst my partner is more social and wanted to make repairs together. Talking about our different ways with a couples therapist has really helped us understanding each other though.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2017 1:37pm
In a healthy relationship, communication between the two people is key. You may lack intimacy and some time to yourselves. Talk to your partner, speak out your mind, get lots of cuddles, maybe watch a film that you both would like, spend more quality time together.
purpleRaven76
January 22nd, 2017 1:50pm
This is a BIG one, wow. It is said that ultimately, we are all only alone. No one can ever truly know all about us, and we can never truly know all about another. Alone doesn't mean lonely, however. Do you feel lonely in your relationship? Perhaps you can write down what your partner can do to help you feel less alone. In the process you might learn more about yourself, and learn what you want from a relationship.
jujulele
March 26th, 2017 10:44pm
Maybe you feel so alone in your relationshop because you both dont communicate together. If you feel lonely in your relationship then go to your girlfriend or boyfriend and speak with him about it.
whitecray
April 13th, 2017 9:57am
Maybe because you are in the wrong relationship. Take a break and think about it all over again. Do you guys really want to be together or its just not right? Relationships are to make you feel more loved and companionship. So think about it again.
orangepekoe93
April 20th, 2017 4:26am
I have struggled with feeling lonely in my relationship partly because of my partner and I having different schedules and with my depression, even when we are together I may feel lonely. Sometimes it feels unavoidable but I find that talking it through has really helped. I trust my partner and I know he would never want me to feel lonely. That feeling helps me get through those difficult times.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2017 1:41am
Maybe you feel like you aren't heard by your partner. Try and talk to you partner and let them know how you're feeling. The point of being in a relationship is to have someone there to look out for you, not to give you additional stress.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2017 1:44am
It's possible that you aren't spending enough time with your partner in your relationship. Also, it's possible that they're distancing themselves from you, whether it be because they're scared or confused about they're emotions or they like you but maybe not in that way anymore.
amiablePudding38
May 26th, 2017 3:48am
Feeling alone in a relationship can be determined in many ways. It could be that you are shutting yourself out from your partner because you are protecting yourself from getting hurt. You feel lonely at a time when you or your partner is angry, mad or withdrawn. Or, you feel lonely because you are trying to control the feelings of your partner and he/she would rather reject you.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2017 4:52am
Maybe the other doesn't see that you are hurting and thinks you are okay when really you are not so he or she doesn't think you are alone but you feel alone cause he or she doesn't ask if you are okay or how you are feeling that day.
Socialworkerintraining
June 24th, 2017 1:26pm
It is possible that you aren't communicating with your partner. A lack of communication can be a lonely experience, as we feel we are not truly understood
gracefulLight67
July 2nd, 2017 11:20pm
Perhaps your partner isn't putting as much effort into the relationship as you want . Communication is very important.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2017 4:01am
If you feel alone in your relationship then your partner is probably not meeting your physical/emotional needs.
SunShineAlwaysGrateful
July 13th, 2017 1:17am
The only way to truly feel,alone is by not actively participating in your relationship! It takes work....a lot of work! Take time to connect daily...daily hugs, kisses, hand holding...conversations,listening to how the day went...and there are functional things as well.....kids schedules, bills run a household....and there family and friends connection to share experiences with others like a vacation...maybe Disney to see the mouse? a Movie?? A concert.? A card game? GO hiking? See an iceberg? Watch your favourite sitcom on tv? All those moments large and small make up a life,,,and build connectedness to others,,,,,take time to connect....what did you do today to connect to your family? What will you do tomorrow...make plans..enjoy!
EternalSunshine930
August 3rd, 2017 10:40pm
Being single can feel lonely, but being in a relationship can feel lonely, too. If you’re in a relationship but still feel like you’re on your own emotionally, the fact that you have a partner is not much of a consolation. In fact, when you are together with your partner, you might even feel more alone because you’re with the very person who should be providing the closeness you need. You might be tempted to ignore the problem, hoping it will resolve itself, but this isn’t a good idea. You’ll likely just continue to feel lonely, and your relationship will get worse. So instead, consider your options to improve the situation, and then take action.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2017 9:21am
Distance between partners can create loneliness. Distance can grow due to a lot of factors however a very common one would be a lack of communication. If you don't feel supported by your partner you are likely to feel lonely. Either try and speak to them aboht how you feel or speak to a listener on here :)
Ruek
August 10th, 2017 9:18am
I think this is something that only you can answer. Why do you think you feel alone? How would the ideal relationship be like? If you were to change one thing about your relationship, what would that be?
sereneNarwhal18
August 11th, 2017 12:49am
Relationships involve 2 people who come from different backgrounds and some times the partners we choose have issues that make them emotionally unavailable and sometimes we have our own issues that make us feel alone because we want more than what our partner is capable of giving. You need to ask yourself what you can do to make yourself feel loved and if in discovering yourself you discover that you and your partner are mismatched then you need to talk to your partner and find out if you can find some common ground and whether or not your partner is the right person for you. No one should feel alone in a relationship. Relationships are meant to enhance our lives.