Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?

223 Answers
Last Updated: 04/13/2022 at 6:26am
Why do I feel so alone in my relationship?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

Social Worker

I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
tranquility03
November 27th, 2019 5:29am
Relationships can be tough. I think sometimes we tend to get wrapped up in the whole "honeymoon" stage and forget how much work it really takes for a strong relationship to develop. Why do you think you feel so alone? Do you feel like both of you are working towards a stronger future together? I have asked myself the same question about feeling alone before in some of own past relationships. Despite whatever the circumstances, I realized the one thing that would always make me feel alone, was if we couldn't laugh together, or make each other laugh. That can hurt your heart. What makes your heart hurt that causes you to feel so alone in your relationship? Maybe something to think about.
Incandecentembrace
December 8th, 2019 5:24pm
In most cases if you feel alone in a relationship it's because there's a lack of communication. The relationship has lost it's spark and in certain scenarios it can lead down worse paths. If you were to address this to the person you're in a relationship with, and see why everything is so separated between each other, could it be because you both lost interest, or your partner lost interest? Maybe spice things up and go on a date, do something out of the ordinary. Other times it's better to let the relationship go, it really depends on how much you want to put into the relationship and how much effort your partner and you put in equally.
HiimRafa
February 21st, 2020 5:34pm
Maybe the other person is not putting as much effort as you are! And you know what? There's a huge chance that they don't even know! In my experience it is better to talk this with your partner, tell them how you feel and, most importantly, look up for yourself, it happens a lot in relationships that one side puts more effort than the other, not because the other person doesn't care but because not everyone shows love the same way, if you want to be loved a certain way the best thing you can do is to say it! Always remember you are an individual, nobody makes you whole but yourself, as always have an awesome day/week/year/life! :)
Anonymous
March 15th, 2020 2:11am
If it is a one sided relationship you feel alone make sure that both of you love, respect and care for each other equally (neither high or low). If the other partner doesn't give you time due to their busy schedules also you may feel alone and develop such thoughts, always try to understand each other and support for and plan out some time together. You will also feel alone when you are very caring and expect a lot from opposite person. Always keep less expectation and avoid over caring and overthinking in relationships. No matter what how much one feel they are alonely take some time sit personally and Express each others feelings by keeping egos and anger a side.
departedspirits1
April 15th, 2020 3:19pm
There are many people who feel lonely in their relationships, some are aware of that, others are unfortunately not. There are two perspectives to this feeling. 1. You and your partner are simply not resonating on a same level of thinking and emotional feeling,two parties thinking differently and also defending their own views. 2. Feeling lonely is a general issue overall with humans, sometiems it doesent matter if its from the partner or a friend or whoever, sometimes we need to understand that loneliness isn't cured from the outside, externally via finding the right person or friend and etc etc.. Sometimes it comes to the conclusion that we have to look inwardly into ourselfs on why EXACTLY we feel lonely. Because there are also people who can be extremely happy when they are also alone. There are again many other aspects revolving loneliness, these two are of those.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2020 4:15pm
Maybe you feel unheard or unloved. It may be you’re feeling disconnected from your partner like you aren’t as close as you used to be. Or it could be you’re feeling confused about something: you’re trying to resolve a problem but feel unable to talk about what’s bothering you. In a sense, it’s not that common that someone might admit to being ‘lonely’ in a relationship. This tends to be the way someone might phrase things after a period of analysis or soul searching. In reality, loneliness tends to express itself more indirectly. You might find yourself feeling more annoyed with your partner starting arguments or interpreting things they do and say negatively.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2020 3:53am
Sometimes it can feel as if a relationship is one sided. That one person is trying so much harder than the other, trust me I’ve dealt that. Sometimes you get that idea too and it just builds up even if it is not true. Sometimes it is best just to talk to your significant other or friend in the relationship and tell them how you feel. Make sure you have a good conversation, a good two sided conversation. Let them know how you feel, if they don’t understand, maybe it is not meant to be. Just remember that communication is key.
CharlotteReynolds
April 26th, 2020 4:18pm
Relationships are about give and take and when the other half doesn’t put in to the relationship as much as they are receiving then it can often feel lonely. If there is no communication or your feelings are going unnoticed then it can also leave a void. If your partner is constantly “too busy” and doesn’t reciprocate your feelings or treat you like you should be treated then it can make you feel empty or invisible. If you share your feelings and thoughts with your partner and they don’t acknowledge your concerns then it might be a one sided relationship which would feel very lonely
kindHeart1309
May 14th, 2020 1:38am
I am really sorry you feel this way, but I want you to know this is not uncommon. Perhaps, your partner is not empathetic to your needs and you are not able to communicate emotionally at some level. I hope you can work through this together and if needed take needed help. I think, you feel alone in your relationship because: (1) Your partner might not be understanding you enough or just letting you deal with your problems by yourself; (2) Your partner isn't giving you enough attention or concern; (3) Both of you haven't established a strong connection with each other; (4) He/she isn't there for you; you are the only one fighting and making a move in your relationship. That's all based on my experiences.
Anonymous
July 16th, 2020 10:43pm
Perhaps you need to express your feelings with your partner in order to ensure that there is transparency. Maybe you can do things together- simple inexpensive tasks like going for a walk, cooking dinner, or watching a tv show together. You may feel alone if you are stressed or overwhelmed with other elements in your life and have felt unable to share it with others. Remember, people are open, reachable, and accessible! Feel comfortable sharing your opinions in a gentle manner and trust that what you are feeling is completely acceptable. Lonliness can often be caused by our own insecurities and self doubts. It is important to be confident with yourself! You can do it! We believe in you!
lovelyFlamingo9917
August 1st, 2020 1:58am
Feeling alone in a relationship is not a good sign. It can mean that you and your partner are not on the same page, that you have difficulty to communicate. Perhaps you are feeling unheard or not valued enough by your partner. Or maybe you feel disconnected emotionally. You can ask yourself these questions: Does your partner listen to you? Do they take active interest in your life and relationship? Are they loving and caring? Do you share similar interests and hobbies, and/or do you spend quality time together? In any case, your feelings are important, so it might be time to have a discussion with your partner.
Anonymous
August 27th, 2020 11:30pm
It's possible that maybe both of you are having anger issues that you haven't figured out how to properly communicate with one or the other. Sometimes the hurt emotions are running so high that the actual issue itself doesn't get resolved because the focus is heavily weighted on how the other person is reacting or not responding in the way the other partner is wanting. Therefore, loneliness feelings come and causes anxiousness. Perhaps before reacting to a situation right at the heat of the moment, each partner can take the time to collect themselves and deeply think about the underlying issue and speak to one and the other in a calm mater so that each of you feels like your emotions and oppinions are being heard.
OhMyOllie
September 4th, 2020 5:49am
I have felt this before and it can be hard. Sometimes when you are with someone it can be lonely. It might be important to note down the ways that your feeling lonely, because sometimes writing things out can help with processing the feelings associated. Maybe you're looking for help in shared tasks for the relationship, or maybe there is a lack of communication. There can be a lot of different reasons. Open and honest communication with your partner is incredibly important and it can help with being able to look at what actions can be taken to feel better. Remember, it's okay to feel down sometimes, but talking with someone and setting up an action plan can help.
Anonymous
September 30th, 2020 6:08pm
Sometimes, in relationships, we can still feel disconnected. There are many reasons for feeling alone, even when we have a partner. Often, a lack of adequate communication is the issue. Connection is built when partners feel comfortable opening up to one another, but it doesn't end there. Connection, like communication, goes both ways. Thus, to connect through communication, it is important to express oneself, but also important to be receptive of another's expression of themselves. When there is a break down somewhere in the system of this communication connection, it may lead to feelings of isolation within a relationship.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2020 6:48pm
You probably feel you can’t connect with your partner and you should try and find ways to connect empatheticly and physically. If you both feel alone in the relationship it might be best to end a relationship thats not working for the both of you. If you can’t connect no matter what you try then it might be time to move on from a not working relationship into a beneficial one, one that can benefit both you and your partner. If you feel the relationship could work around so you don’t feel alone then thats amazing and you should keep up with your partner.
Anaiviv01
October 15th, 2020 1:41pm
It is often a matter of communication. In. a relationship, especially after years go by, we tend to stop noticing details and take many behaviors, words and silences for granted. Feeling lonely in a relationship is common and widely relatable: it is a feeling that may arise from the lack of time dedicated, from the lack of focus, lack of surprise, lack of "dating" experiences. If we let these feelings go their way, they will tend to have a snowball effect, becoming harder and harder to sort out. Don't be afraid to invest some time in proper talking, with an open mind and an open heart.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 10:53pm
Feelings of loneliness can come from feeling unseen or unheard. If you are feeling lonely, it is helpful to ask yourself if you feel seen and heard in the relationship. We can also feel like they're not there for us or that they don't care. All of this is valid. It is worth discussing with your partner if you feel this way. Feeling alone often has very little to do with actually being alone, and more to do with feeling disconnected. Maybe some quality alone time with the person can help. Also, communicating how you feel with your partner is important!
Anonymous
November 12th, 2020 3:36am
Oftentimes being in a relationship can have the opposite effect of what we think. At a point where you end up giving most or all of your attention to someone else, it can often be realized that you're leaving no more meat on the bone for yourself. I experienced this in a relationship I had, where being the "fixer" personality that I am, I ended up just being an emotional punching bag for all of my partner's problems, 95% of which had nothing to do with me. At first I felt like I was helping, but as the days and weeks turned into months, I realized that I was getting taken advantage of, which left me feeling lonely. This is just my experience, but I think we oftentimes forget that we need time and space for just ourselves just as much as we need the emotional affection of a relationship.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 2:04am
Sometimes relationships can be lonely, a lack of communication between you and your partner and feelings of distance can lead to feeling alone. It can be worked on though, you can strengthen your connection through date nights, small gifts, and most of all expressing your concerns to your partner. If they express an interest in helping to fix things, great. If not, maybe some relationship counseling could help, or a break from the relationship for a bit. Having a partner isn't always perfect and constantly working on your togetherness can strengthen your connection so you feel less alone :)
Anonymous
November 26th, 2020 12:24am
Maybe because your holding back in issues you want to touch on? maybe because your not getting the same love you give out? or not feeling like your understood by your partner. There can be many reasons, sometimes clearing your mind and finding the root of the problem can be handy, when you acknowledge the answer then take it from there if u feel like you need to talk to your other half or either confirm that your not really feeling the relationship anymore or as much etc. Deep down we all know our answers with some things, just takes true reflection to discover.
B1uee1ephant
January 20th, 2021 9:27pm
I believe you may feel alone in your relationship because you are not getting what you deserve. Relationships are a two way act. When only one person is putting in effort, the other is the only one getting attention. You may not feel heard, supported, or like you are in the relationship because of this. You feel as though you serve the partner instead of mutual service for each other. But service comes in many forms, such as listening, communicating, cooking, cleaning, or even just something to show them you love them. I think many people may follow their head and not their heart in relationships, which makes the partner feel abandoned.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2021 11:32pm
Sometimes one person can feel alone in a relationship by not communicating or talking out their thoughts or emotions. It can also hapen if active listening isnt a quality in your relationship as its important to posess that skill when working with other people. When someone is not heard it makes it harder for them to feel in sync and will likely lead to supressing emotions and other negitive qualities. If your lonely in your relationship it would be good to display your concerns to your partner and see if there is a way you teo can remedy th feelings of being alone
Anonymous
March 5th, 2021 12:15am
Maybe because the relationship has ended. There is a lot of other reasons. It might be because your board with each other. Maybe it is time to find another person to have a relationship with. Maybe the things you both liked, you no longer like doing. My suggestions would be to try to do the following: Find a new person, with whom you could be friends with. If it works out then slowly try getting into a relationship with the other person. Find out what went right in the relationship you had with the same person. Ask the same person, if they feel alone as well. If something went wrong, try to find out what it was, and try to repair it. If you cannot, then move on from it. Learn from it, and try not to make the same mistakes, in the new relationship.
8cupsofwater
March 11th, 2021 9:03am
There can be many reasons for feeling lonely despite being in an intimate relationship. Firstly, is it intimate at all? Not just physically but also emotionally. I have been in long-term relationships where we shared the same small apartment and bed every day and night but felt lonely because we lacked communication. As the honeymoon stage passes and you run out of exciting things to say or learn about each other, you may lose interest in the relationship. Another reason could be a lack of trust for your partner where you don't feel comfortable opening up to them about your feelings. Or perhaps it could stem from a passive aggressive personality. In general, keeping secrets or frustrations to yourself can make you feel alone and misunderstood. After all, nobody can read your mind, no matter how close they are.
Shilaliah
March 15th, 2021 1:59pm
To be honest, maybe you are in the wrong pairing. Maybe you are in no pairing at all to begin with because your partner's interest waned. Maybe it wasn't even there in the first place. This is a red flag to your emotional and overall psychological well being. Sometimes you are the one investing your all in the relationship and this is certainly draining energy in a situation where your partner is showing low effort. Relationships do have their lows but this is no certification to constantly feel alone. This might also be an indication that you are forcing issues in the hope that it will work. Perhaps it is an urge from your innermost feelings to make a move.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2021 6:09am
Because we come into this world alone and we shall depart it alone. In between, we may acquire some companionship, but even then, we are still alone. We are brains resting in splendid solitude inside our cage of skull. We are souls in singular, encases behind layers and layers of obstruction, and no one will ever fully know our thoughts or feelings about life/the universe/everything--except we ourselves. Physically, no matter how close a loved one clings to us, the times in which we are by ourselves doing something or other, will always outweigh the times in which we are not. Emotionally, sometimes even when we are in the same room, even within their embrace, we can still feel alone when we realize that their attention isn't on us at that moment; or, worse, their attention is fully upon us, and yet there still stretches a vast gulf between we and they. The very best of what we can achieve is simply a delightful compromise.
openbook1814
April 8th, 2021 12:29am
A relationship is intended to be a mutual interaction between individuals where they each gain an emotional fulfillment or benefit from a desired goal. In a romantic relationship, the people involved will seek to fulfill each others romantic desires and goals. However, these goals and desires need to be well discussed and communicated. Communication is key in any relationship, especially in a romantic relationship. This communication needs to be happening with all the people involved in the relationship, because if even one of the persons involved isn't communicating effectively the relationship can fall apart. If you are feeling so alone in your relationship, it may be time to assess your communication quality with the person in your relationship. Bring it to their attention as they may not know something is wrong and from there you may be able to better assess, fix, or judge how to deal with the problem of feeling alone much better. A relationship is like a dream team, and communication makes the team work!
Anonymous
April 8th, 2021 12:47pm
I'm so sorry you are feeling alone in your relationship. Are you happy? Do you feel loved? Are you spending quality time together? Does your needs and wishes matter in your relationship? Do you feel listened, supported? These are some questions that can help you to realise why you are feeling so alone in your relationship. Acknowledging the reasons you are feeling like that, you should open your heart and have an honest and clear conversation so the other person know how you are feeling and together work it out so you can feel better and in a positive relationship.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2021 6:03am
There are multiple factors why you feel alone in a relationship. It can be either lack of compassion from your significant other or lingering problems that is causing the distant feeling. It best to confront it rather than prolonged a stalemate relationship. Communication is key especially in a relationship, without it you won't know what is going on with you or your significant other. You have to know where their head is at and is it compatible with your goals especially in the matters of happiness or not. Its good to know why they are present or not. Thank you!
Anonymous
April 14th, 2021 9:46pm
In my experience, to feel alone around people is one of the most distressing things, as it can really feel like you are not doing enough, or you are doing things wrong and we tend to blame ourseves mostly for why the relationship does not feel as fulfilling as it should. But above all I believe that connection between people is lost when there is no open and honest communication. And communication is something that goes both ways, "it takes two to tango" fits perfectly in a situation like this. Communicating thoughts and emotions to the person you love, while they communicate what they think and feel to, feeling that you are heard and also listening, compassionately from both sides; it may sounds simple and easy but if those things are missing it is highly likely that the relationship will not feel fulfilling enough.