Why do I freak out in relationships so easily?
Last Updated: 12/09/2020 at 6:28pm
Sandra Butler, AOD, DV counselor
Drug & Alcohol Counselor
Experienced in understanding how emotions and feelings affect our lifes in every aspect of interacting, not just with others, but how we process those emotions. I can help you
Top Rated Answers
Managing not only your own emotions but someones else's in a relationship can be incredibly stressful. At times, it can feel overwhelming and cause us to make decisions we might not ordinarily choose for ourselves. Its understandable to feel this way, regardless of the negative or positive previous expeirnces you've had in relationships. With time, you may find more comfort in them, and acknowledging the stress they can put you under is a great first step towards finding that stability. Try to find kindness and patinece for yourself as you disocver your feelings- The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you will be to face the challenging feelings that surface in relationships.
I see you freak out in relationships easily. This can be caused by an assortment of reasons. Are you unfamiliar with them, never been in one, or have trust issues? It is normal to be afraid because it makes you think about if it is best for you. How does it make you feel inside? Is there anything that triggers it? Is there anything your partners do that makes it better or worse? How many relationships have you been in? If the other person is truly for you they will be patient with you and help you through these struggles.
Because I want to be seen from a very high standard. Intelligent-- that is. When I feel I do not come across as such I tend to have a bit of anxiety. My standards are usually very high on myself. Not meeting them leads me into slight sadness, in a way. However, with all this going on, I still try to look on the bright side of things. I try not to be so hard on myself because I know eventually I will get where I need to be one way or another. Simply forcing myself will mot be enough. I just have to keep learning and let time dictate my path.
This is a tough question that may require you to think through your life and everything you have experienced. Many times the way we interact with people is based on what we see in everyday life or experiences we may have had. Did you grow up seeing a healthy relationships? Did someone hurt you, which caused you to shy away from other relationships? Sometimes it is good to take a break from relationships and work on ourselves. Work on making ourselves more confident and comfortable in our own skin, once we have fully accepted ourselves and the traumas we may have been through then that might be the right time to get into a relationship.
There could be a number of factors that contribute to this. First of all it is worth emphasising that a certain level of nervousness is normal - especially if you're new to relationships - but if you are finding it a consistent obstacle that is preventing you from connecting with us it's important to try and evaluate where this feeling comes from. Potentially it could be linked to the kind of relationships you were exposed to as a child, or a past experience with a relationship that influenced how you view future ones. If you can work out what it is that is scaring you and where it originates from, it could be the key to solving this problem.
I think this really depends on the person but it usually has to do with past experiences. For example, have you felt like they could leave at anytime or fear that the relationship could change unexpectedly? From experience I found family life has a lot to do with this. This a challenge that I myself have trouble overcoming but I can tell you that relationships aren't ever easy. Your worries are completely valid and you are not alone. But remember that your significant other does care about you because they want to be with you. They wanted to date you and not someone else. So to answer this question I think its a combination of environment, experiences, and normal new relationship nerves.
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