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Why do I get over people so easily?

110 Answers
Last Updated: 12/31/2020 at 12:47am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Simon, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work from a holistic perspective to help my clients heal from various mental, emotional, and relationship problems. My style is direct,honest, supportive, and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Gaiasinclair
August 23rd, 2019 7:13am
You may feel they do not or did not have a big impact in your life. They may hurt your feelings, make you feel bad in any way and this makes it easier for us to get over people. We believe that it is the best for us. Most of the time it actually is. But we should always keep in mind that some people have good effect on our lives so we should not just push them away for little things. It is okay to have issues with people we deeply care about. It is our job to decide what is better for us and our relationship with others. Whatever happens we should be kind to first ourselves and then everyone around us. Because at the end all we want and need is love.
Anonymous
October 1st, 2019 2:56am
I can get over people by overcoming adversity and developing the tools to make overarching goals smaller. This means that I need to be able to have an overarching biological, social and psychological network that includes family, friends, teachers, community members and more. For example, having a friend to talk to while undergoing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a social worker to talk to, journal writing, article writing, art therapy, medication management and many more. To get over someone isn't easy, but coping with it through others makes it much more manageble and easier to understand. Therefore, a social network is vital.
bellarina74
January 31st, 2020 3:09pm
I get over people easily because I have clear expectations of what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to my friendships. I know how I want and deserve to be treated. If I am not being treated as I would like to be then I try to have a conversation with the person that is contributing to making me feel like the friendship is being abused. If I am not happy with the way the conversation has transpired I then have a choice as to whether I wish to put any more time or energy into a relationship that may not be mutually beneficial.
hopefulEagle2471
April 9th, 2020 1:45pm
Perhaps you never really opened up to them? Or maybe you already have a robust social network that makes you feel secure and confident enough to feel as though you can carry on okay without them. It could be that you are suffering, but are good at tolerating the suffering because you know that in the long run things will improve. It could be that you think you are not suffering, but actually you are suffering, and just haven't worked out how to process/deal with the emotion yet. I couldn't say which of these answers are correct, but if it's something you're concerned about, it could help to read about other people and how they deal with getting over people, and/or talk to friends, family or a therapist about how you relate to others. If it doesn't concern you, and your apparent ambivalence isn't causing problems for anyone, then maybe you don't need to worry about it!
ObiWaN777
May 14th, 2020 4:31am
I get over people so easily because the breakup usually happens when both of you have reached a point where the relationship has become toxic for each other. Either that or it was not a real one to begin with. This means it's that you realise that the other person is not good for you or you're not good for the other person and it's best for both if you separated. It hurts for a while and then you start seeing things from a different perspective. This helps. Talking to your close friends, opening up about it, expressing everything to someone also helps me get over someone.
Anonymous
May 15th, 2020 6:32pm
It's a part of knowing who you want in your life and how your heart just knows who will stay and who won't. The people who come in and out of your life came for a reason, whether it's to help you grow or to make you realize something. Of all things, it's about figuring out where you stand and where your journey continues and the people that are no longer in your life shouldn't hold you back from moving on, and getting over them easily is okay. In a way it opens up new paths for better opportunities and new memories to make in your life.
Acekismet27
June 3rd, 2020 8:11pm
I think there is an upside and a downside to getting over people so easily. If you find that you do not get attached to people you love or you keep a distance on purpose then this could be the reason and maybe this is not so healthy. If you find that you get super attached but then the slightest tension in the relationship makes you think twice then this is probably a fear of losing them and therefor not allowing growth in the relationship. Many times I think this is due to abandonments from the past. Its important to have meaningful relationships and allow hurts from The past to be the past and not ruin the chances of a new growing relationship.
WarmMugofCocoa
June 12th, 2020 7:18pm
In short, I get over people easily when I am self aware of my emotions and thoughts, and understand the feelings of people around me. To cite an example, I have had times when people treated me unfairly. I was juggling between two jobs, and was also drafting up university application. It was an immensely stressful period for me, since I also had to deal with the fact that I did badly for my second round of exams. It was a constant toughness, I worked from 5am to 11pm, and napped in between my breaks. One evening, a colleague entered the room and saw my belongings splattered across the table. I was working on my application essay, my laptop bag and research materials spread all over the work table. He took it upon me, and gave me a lecture with a condescending tone, asking me if I had any respect for the workplace and myself. I think he crossed the line when he commented that my own bedroom is probably as messy as this, and it hit a nerve really badly. I never talked back to him, nor confronted him about that. Because, while my colleagues were busy defending me and arguing with him, I noticed his frustration with the workplace and the anger directed at me that night was not meant for me, but the first shift at work. I just nodded my head throughout while they bickered, slowing down to a consensus. The event was over, it was over. It took me a while to recover since he struck a nerve related to my emotional trauma, but I got over him. I was aware of my built up exhaustion coupled with my emotions all the while - me being scared, me feeling unjust, angry, hurt, disappointment in myself for not speaking up, but more importantly, I knew if I spoke up then, it would have worsened the situation. I am also aware that he was frustrated, so I focused all my energy on understanding where it was stemming from. I saw two sides of the coin, and I recognised that what happened was not personal, and is not meant to be. I separated myself from the situation to evaluate my emotions, versus others. There is simply nothing to hold grudges for, as it does not solve anything.
amiablePond7294
July 2nd, 2020 1:31am
Some people may get over people quickly. It is not quite a bad thing, although others may view it as. It varies from person to person. In my personal experience, I also get over people very easily. It does not mean that I did not love them or care for them any less. I'm not sure the true meaning why some get overs other quickly. Maybe you knew subconsciously it was time to move on. Or maybe you processed the entire situation without even realizing it. Nonetheless, it is not a bad thing and I don't think there is a one-sized fits all answer to it.
PositivitySpring68
July 11th, 2020 10:55am
Getting over people can be a tough experience especially if you shared a lot of special moments with a particular person. From a personal experience, I have been able to get over people by accepting that there is a season and a time for everything in my life. The same is with everyone's life. Letting go has come with accepting that people are meant to come and go and that every interaction in my life is meant to teach me a lesson. The duration of some interactions may be longer than others but at the end of the day, once the purpose of a particular person in your life has been completed, they will go. So, I find appreciating and learning from every interaction I have with people helps me let go easily.
dtanushree
July 18th, 2020 3:34am
There can be a lot of reasons for getting over people easily. Some reasons could be: -Some people have the have the ability to cope with difficult situations easily. It is because of their personal experiences in the past or their upbringing. They handle any situation very easily. When they are supposed to get over people, they let them go without getting stuck in the situation. -Some people are like "no strings attached". It is not like they do not have feelings or emotions but they are capable of staying with people without getting attached to them. Attachment is indeed a very painful approach to life and situations. -There's a quote which can be one reason why someone can get over people easily. "When the pain of staying put is greater than our fear of the unknown, we find our wings". I don't know what are your reasons to get ober people easily but it is okay. Staying somewhere where you don't want to be may not be pleasant for you or the person you are with. I feel that getting over people easily is somewhat a good aspect. ๐Ÿ’“
empathicLove5228
August 5th, 2020 12:36am
Everyone has to let someone go at some point during their lives. Just realize that some people aren't meant to be in your life for long, but only for a short amount of time :) Getting over someone easily isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's good that you don't give yourself too hard of a time for letting go of a particular person. You can't hold onto the past for so long that it affects your future. Live your life, love yourself, and just realize that some people are not meant to stay in your life and that's perfectly ok.
LDR2277
August 5th, 2020 3:17pm
Getting over someone often gets confused with just forgetting about them. I believe getting over someone is the same as moving on which means being okay with what happened and accepting that it happened. So you need to see for yourself if you have actually thought about the people you met in your lifr and accepted that whatever were between you is over or if you only dismissed it. If you don't think that you have dismissed it and think you have really moved on then there's the explanation you never really cared about them. Then there's the other explanation that you don't really know how to express your feelingd thus making you feel you are over them when in fact you aren't.
Anonymous
August 28th, 2020 6:14am
Ones character is judged before-hand, once you get to know the person and their character the reality is hard to accept. As well as looking for something new every time and becoming bored with the same old individual, which results in the lack of attachment to an individual and makes it easier to get over. When first meeting an individual, they are like a new toy once the same time is done being played with they lose attachment till they forget or in this case move on and lose the feeling they once had for a person, just to find a different individual as a way of distraction
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2020 10:36pm
Getting over people easily can depend on the situation. I know I tend to get over people easier when I feel like either I put more work into the relationship (platonic or romantic) than the other person, they take advantage of our relationship, or they violated the terms of our relationship. If it feels unhealthy or unfair, I don't feel as bad when we disconnect for whatever reason. This is how I respond so this might be relatable, but it's okay if it isn't. Everybody is different and pretty much everybody experiences being out of the box sometime (I haven't met anyone that can say they haven't). So, generally speaking, getting over people easily might not be abnormal, but I can't speak to your exact situation. If it is something that you feel uncomfortable with, that's a problem. What helps me keep relationships that don't apply to norm of my ridding of unhealthy relationships because it's a relationship I value is keeping in touch. My family, for example, are people I want to maintain relationships with, but we can drift apart if we're not careful and forget to purposefully reach out. That being said, I won't take the blame if the relationship still isn't as strong because their not doing their part. That's on them and I will call them out on it respectfully so I'm not stuck in a one sided relationship. It's work, but it's rewarding for me when doing so maintains a strong foundation that lasts a lifetime.
Sleepwalkermw
October 31st, 2020 12:46pm
Perhaps because you havent bonded with them enough, so they dont mean enough to you. Perhaps you are afraid to let people know you in your depth, to let them too close to you. Having a "wall" between you and others is part of a coping mechanism and is the result of getting very hurt in a relationship in the past, so it functions as an adaptive strategy to not get hurt in the future. It can be helpful in protecting yourself, but altough you won't experience much pain, you won't experience much joy either. So, there are to sides to every coin. To be vulnerable means to be open to love, and being vulnerable is therefore a sign of great strength.
dpatel515
November 20th, 2020 8:46pm
You need to understand and accept the facts that if people are meant to be in your life, they will stay in your life or find a way back into your life somehow. Nothing is greater than the forces of the universe. You meet everyone in your life for a reason. If they leave from your life, take that as a lesson. Think "what did I learn from them" use that lesson to become stronger and then move on to becoming a better person. If they stay in your life, cherish them. Be patient, and be willing to move on.
DarkPiT23
November 22nd, 2020 10:24pm
It may be that you simply process experiences more rapidly than most people, or it may be that your capacity for emotion is limited. It may be that you are fooling yourself when you believe you are โ€œoverโ€ something. ... Everyone processes their emotions in a different way, maybe you just process them faster.Yes. It is normal to move on quickly for the one who really wanted that break-up, if it is not your first break up, you move on in some time since you have understood that you are worth loving in the very first place. No, particularly if you have nothing else to do and you do not love yourself.
Anonymous
December 11th, 2020 11:18pm
Hi there! I'm so happy you asked about this topic~ These are just based on my own thoughts and ideas and I believe this gets to do with personalities. Some people that are more positive can get over people easily since they focus on the bright side and refuse to drown in the past. Of course it doesn't apply to everyone but it can be one possibility.
StassieJones
December 31st, 2020 12:47am
I would answer this with another question. Do you think that 'getting over people so easily' is necessarily a bad thing? Some people have the opposite problem where getting over people is extremely taxing on them. Look at this from a more positive perspective. You can move on from relationships that no longer service you. You can walk away knowing that you will be ok without them. That shows how strong willed you are. It shows that you independent. It also shows that you understand the people in life are sometimes fluid, coming in and out of our lives for different reasons. Don't think too hard about this quality about yourself.