Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Toxic relationships are often hard to leave. When you're in a toxic relationship, you often aren't even aware of it. When a partner starts acting in a way that's "toxic", we tend to ignore it because we think that it's alright, or that they won't always act like this. (Some people even blame themselves for certain actions made by their partners.) People say that they still love their partner, even if it IS a toxic relationship. It's generally hard to leave someone you love,and it's hard to break up with someone because you don't want to put any emotional stress on somebody. So, you keep going back to a toxic relationship in hopes of it getting better, and because you hold onto all the good memories, but sometimes it's better to let things go.

Going back to a relationship that you know is toxic is something that is called "the comfort zone". You go back to it because it is what you know.

Because we learn wrong ways to deal with day to day life. We go back to what is familiar to us even tho it can be harmful, like toxic relationships. To get out of a toxic relationship you need to be strong to not go back to past ways and past safe zones. We normalize aggressive behaviors and ways of reacting. To get out of a toxic relationship we first need to understand why we are still there, why we want to leave and be strong enough to keep that in mind when things get tough.

It can be a self doubt/confidence issue. That's what I have learned about myself when Ive been there

The reason why I keep going back to toxic relationships is because I fear that I might end up alone if I don’t, which leads to heartbreak most of the time by rushing into things too quickly.

You already know your partner well and it is easier to go back to them rather than find someone new. Try to meet new people and maybe you will find someone you like better and is not as toxic!

I think people go back to toxic relationships because it is comfortable. They are afraid of the unknown...new relationships.

youre used to being in it and you dont want to move foward, you want to stay because you want to hold onto the good times you had with the person when actually the bad out beats the good

I have experience in this aswell. You do it because you are in love with the person. You think you found your soulmate in this person. The best thing to do is just distant yourself from this person and relationship and look for someone else

Toxic relationships are one of the hardest things to overcome. I stayed best friends with one person who constantly degraded me and made me feel horrible, and I know why I stayed. I thought she loved me and cared for me. After all, she did tell me that she cared. But she never showed it to me, and it took a while for me to understand that. Often, we go towards the love that we believe we deserve. Toxic people often know just how to dig their way into your heart and stay there for a while. It's very hard to overcome the love and compassion that somebody might be giving to look a little deeper and see the evilness and negative behaviors that lie beneath all of the sweet things about them You may be going back to the relationship because it makes you feel loved, despite also making your mental and/or physical health worse.

Because you got use to be in the situation you are in with that person and you feel like you don't deserve better (which is completely untrue)

I think we go back to toxic relationships because we are so used to the feeling of being loved and accepted, but we do not realize that the person is toxic and unhealthy for us. "We accept the love we think we deserve" While in a toxic relationship, it can be blinding. Those people tend to make us believe that they are what is good for us, and that can be very manipulating. It's normal to keep going back, but keep in mind that knowing it is toxic is the first step. You don't have to keep going back.

One of the most common reasons to go back to your toxic relationship according to my experience is the lack of self-security. If you don`t feel loved in a relationship, you try hard to get loved. But usually instead the opposite happens - you feel even more unloved and become desparate. You don`t have to courage to end the relationship because you don`t believe that you will find a better one or you are afraid of being alone. The solution which helped me, is to be there for yourself and trust yourself that you will be ok if you become alone. Focus on your own life, your own needs and desires. Fall in love with youself and become your best friend. When you feel safe and secure with yourself, you won`t let a toxic relationship ruin your peace. You will know that you are worthy and deserve a lot better than that. With this feeling of self-love you will be able to make a decision and stay away from a toxic relationship.

Because of the habits and perhaps even the dependency nature of the relationship. The habits that we have Everyday, will create outcomes which makes us go back to the same relationships, and many times in the same manner too. To change it, we need to change ourselves.. Change the way we see things, do something different, talk to new people, get involved in various different tasks. That is how I stopped myself from going back to my toxic relationship. Our human mind seems to crave suffering or stimulus, and sometimes not in a good way.. so we have to change our thoughts by changing our actions

Loneliness is a powerful motivator. Many people stay in unhealthy relationships simple to be in any relationship. Many people go back to toxic relationships because they're afraid that there's nothing better out there. Sometimes abusers convince their partners that no one else will care for them, that they aren't worthy of love, and that the abuser is doing them a favor by staying in a relationship with them. This manipulation creates a false dependence. There IS something better out there, and you ARE worthy of that healthy relationship. Remember to have compassion for yourself and make safe, healthy, long term choices.

Toxic relationships aren't as uncommon ads you might think. It doesn't have to be just physical or verbal abuse, it could be considered toxic if the person is simply not treating you correctly. Relationships are hard, and the most important skill someone can posses in a relationship is the ability to know when to walk away. It is common for you to continue going back to that person; they were a big part of your life and you placed lots of love and care into that person. The important thing to understand when it comes to toxic relationships is that it doesn't define you and if your significant other is not treating you correctly, that is not a reflection of you. Perhaps they are not ready to be in a relationship or they are not the right person for you. Love is a very tricky thing and it is normal to continue looking for love and wanting to keep things in the state that they are.

you may keep going back to tat toxic relationship for many reasons. one reason can be because they threaten to do bad things when you're gone. maybe they also have good days and it doesn't seem toxic. Maybe you blame yourself, maybe you think you ask for to much, or that you love this person, but if there is one thing I have learned is that love should be easy, love should be simple. you should be able to be yourself, you shouldn't have to pretend you are someone youre really not. love shouldn't be toxic, but love can be really blind to the toxic relationship

I go back because the feeling of a toxic lifestyle becomes normal. The abusive relationship is what I was comfortable in. It's a mind game, and you feel like you need it. When you leave it, life feels empty. You stress a whole bunch during the relationship and crave it. It a roller coaster of emotions. You want to fix the person, all while hating them, then love them. All the love songs you hear about crazy love, it's true. Just remember don't settle. You have worth more precious than rubies, and a life to live that deserves nothing but unconditional love.

I've been here and you always go back to what you know and what u feel u deserve no matter how toxic you always find something good in the relationship to focus on you never remember the toxic times only the good they did no matter how little good they did for you You always settle for what you think you are worth they always say the right things to get under the skin to make you want to stay in the relationship they always promise they are going to change and very rarely they ever do

We go back to the love we think we deserve. We cast aside all out good qualities and eel that the toxic person is the only one there for us. The truth is, that once we make ourselves believe that we deserve better, there is nothing in the world that can change it. I have been through the same thing recently, but finally got out of a 2.5 year toxic relationship. If you dont respect yourself, if you dont love yourself, that person and that relationship keeps attracting you. It is like an octopus. You need to build your strength by loving yourself.

I’ve been through the same situation. I kept coming back to a relationship that has been super toxic and I couldn’t understand why as well. As soon as I officially ended it, I’ve realized that I wanted to feel loved and I was scared of being alone. Maybe it’s the same with you? Maybe you are afraid of being alone and that you might not be able to find someone else who will love you. That’s probably why you kept choosing to come back even though you know it’s no good. It isn’t your fault for feeling that way though.

You may feel attached to the person you were previously in a relationship with. I can not relate, but I get why you may keep going back to your toxic relationship. You may feel that it was your fault that the difficulties happened, and you may also feel a certain emotion. I have never been in your shoes, but I feel that I would try to calm myself, and get to the core reasoning of why I keep going back to my toxic relationship. I would see if I have a form of PTSD, or somewhat of an obsession to that toxic past.

The feeling of loneliness and insecure after losing a relationship let you stay in it for a long time, meanwhile if you climbed out of that relationship it would make you feel proud of yourself in time. It's a hard decision to do, but once it happens you will clearly look at yourself and see how much years you have wasted in that toxic relationship meanwhile you could have reached your dreams and became the person who you always wanted to be. In general you need to face your fears and stand on your feet and move on forward in your life, you will find the best for you in that long journey.

This could because you miss the feeling of being in a relationship with someone. It may not be the person that you miss (since they would be the toxic factor of it). But it could be the fact that you miss being in a relationship or with someone. A lot of times, people tend to miss a relationship after they are out of it. A lot of people still long for the feeling of a relationship when they are out of it. This is one of the, but also most likely, reasons for your problem that you have described.

Often, we have deep rooted ties to toxic relationships. It can include reasons such as, not believing you are worthy of genuine and healthy love, feeling comfortable in relationships that are inconsistent due to childhood environment, and abandonment issues, among other things. Do any of these feel true for you? If so, look up suggestions for related therapy (not self-help) books. For example, “Attached” by Dr. Levine is a great resource for understanding attachment theory and why you might keep choosing partners who don’t make you happy in the long run. Or if it have something to do with boundaries, perhaps looking at www.Boundaries.me by Dr. Henry Cloud may help. There is an over abundance of resources, knowledge, and tools at our fingertips. It might seem impossible now, but with some diligent digging in, you can make significant life changes - especially when it comes to unhealthy relationships. You are doing an incredible job just by asking this question and I hope you’re able to find the answers you need

Depending on the person, mostly the relationship is manipulating meaning it is extremely hard to get out of. The person or partner usually is also charming or is dangerous and abusive. Both ways can be harming and lead you back to the toxic relationship. Usually the person is heavily attached to the person which means it can be heart braking and hard to leave the person even if they or the relationship is toxic. Even if you might feel alone, this is very common and many people struggle with it. Remember if you are having struggles, you can always come to 7 cups for help. You can also start the guide program which helps you chat with other people who a having the same issues. It can be very helpful.

I feel you on that one. I had been doing that for quite some time. If I take my experience, the reason that I kept going back is that I didn’t think I had a choice. I didn’t think I have the power or the authority to say no. I also didn’t think anybody else would want me, ever, so in order to feel wanted, I need him. All that was pretty much the fear talking. Plus, I had this belief stuck in my head, ‘this time it will be different.’ We can have such a great time, maybe it will stay like that. Obviously, it didn’t. What helped me a lot is opening up a little bit and realizing that the world does not end with this person. I tried to shift my focus from my inner insecurities to look at the world around me with curiosity. It was hard and didn’t come naturally for me. Many aspects of my progress are still ongoing…but it’s going. :) Inner reflection is necessary, but in my case, I got too self-conscious and I mostly got fixated on the negative things about me and my situation. Let me tell you.. not the best way to go. Of course, I do not know what kind of toxic relationship are we talking about. If it has dangers to physical or mental health or you are concerned that it might, do not be afraid to seek professional help.

For me it was because I felt that I was trapped, or felt that without them I was nothing. I felt they needed me and that I could fix them and their outbursts were just a result of their mental health. While a lot was from their mental health it still wasn't okay. But I tolerated it for a long time until I gained self respect and left it after a year and a half. Anyone that feels they keep going back to their toxic or abusive relationship, don't. It's a cycle, the good times shouldn't make up for how they treat you or how you treat each other negatively. It isn't worth it. There are other opportunities. You deserve more than you think :).

You probably keep going back to your toxic relationship because you believe that everything toxic that happens is love. I have been there so many times before and when I finally end the relationship I think to my self how could I be so dumb and not see the red flags? You might think it’s love but really it’s not. It’s just hurting you mentally and emotionally without you even realizing but it will get better. Just try and listen to your friend when they tell you not to go back to the relationship because they are your friends and they are just trying to help you

From my experience once you love someone like truly love someone it’s hard to see there faults and walk away because when you love someone no matter how much they hurt you, you still want to wrap your arms around them and never let go love is like a drug and it’s hard to just completely stop wanting it but once you start to look for the really bad things in the relationship you will start to realize that the person you love is not as great as you thought because they are the type of person who manipulates others into liking them and the type of person who only really cares about themselves and doesn’t care at all about the others around them and slowly you will be able to fall out of love with them and find someone much better