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Why do I keep imagining him cheating on me when I know he isn't?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 05/18/2020 at 2:09am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 6th, 2016 1:10pm
Because you don't trust him completely. You imagine a situation just to prepare yourself for cheating and if that happens you already know how it feels and what to do.
FeatherIce25
April 13th, 2015 4:19am
This is not you, this your insecurity speaking. When you know that he loves you and would never do such a thing to you, have faith. You can spend more time with him, do more things together..Build your trust in him.
magicalListener1
September 20th, 2016 5:58pm
Because you like him so much, you don't want to lose him, and these negative thoughts invade your brain and get in the way of things :(
Anonymous
February 25th, 2015 7:24pm
In my personal experience, I have thought that same thing. It's when he starts acting a little out of the ordinary and I automatically assume the worst. I suggest being open and honest about it and speaking to him about it.
CourageousNotDangerous
June 7th, 2016 10:30am
It is most likely because you do not trust him completely. It could be based on past experiences or even because you feel self conscious about your worth.
Haku6247
June 17th, 2015 3:31pm
Perhaps because you aren't getting the attention you once did from him and have come to that conclusion
HoneyStarling
February 25th, 2015 3:31am
Fears sometimes come from within us - maybe there's some issues with self-confidence and your sense of self-value which cause you to create these hurtful imaginary situations.
Greatlistener87
May 31st, 2016 6:41am
Could be based on your past experience, that you have the trauma that he will cheat on you. But in all relationships u need trust. If there is no trust there is no foundation for you guys to have a relationship on.
beyourself101
April 26th, 2015 4:14am
It seems to me like you have trust issues, and fear that other women/men are better than you. You should talk about your fear with your loved one, get couples therapy to help tighten the relationship and be true to one another.
Jordant1022
June 3rd, 2015 3:22pm
There can be a lot of reasons for feeling this way. At the core of this issue is probably a certain lack of trust in the relationship. Also, if you keep feeling that he is cheating it might be due to a lack of self esteem on your part. if you don't feel like you are worthy of him, then your mind might automatically assume that he's cheating. You should sit and really introspectively investigate the root of these feelings. :)
EleNergy
July 7th, 2015 4:22pm
Sometimes, we end up thinking the worst when we don't need to. Everyone has times where they worry. Just remind yourself that you know he isn't cheating and remember that communication is key to any relationship. If something is bothering you, don't be afraid to talk about it. Thanks for coming to 7 Cups! That's a big, brave step right there. :)
Anonymous
September 5th, 2016 2:16pm
I think deep down you know that i am not good enough for him or that your relation is a mismatch thats why you think that
Anonymous
June 30th, 2015 12:24pm
It sounds like you're worried and need some reassurance. Have you talked to him about this? That could be helpful.
sakuratree
January 11th, 2016 7:50pm
You're afraid of losing him. That's normal and it means that he is important to you. You may talk with him about this.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2017 8:59pm
It's probably your insecurities and fears just banging on the door. Also maybe the luck of trust in your partner.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 12:22am
It could be because your self-esteem is low, and your self-image is deteriorated by this. In this situation, I see just two cases that could have this effect: whether you feel that you are not sexually good enough in the relationship or as a person in whole. Maybe the communication is poor, and the feedback that you get from him not enough to clarify those two aspects, I mention above. And from this, you may think that he is cheating you because you are not good enough for him. And the fact that you are ignoring the real facts, it could be caused by the fact that we are driven by emotion not reason. This is the way I see this problem.
Noor9733
July 2nd, 2018 5:12am
when we love someone don't we fear that we lose them ? We feel attached to others we worry we might not see them often or we might lose their love so we think of the worst that can happen :)
hawaiiangremlin
January 7th, 2020 8:43am
Let me start by saying that is a fantastic and frequently asked question. There are several things that could factor into this one, everyone is different and every relationship is different. Maybe it has to do with a bad previous experience you had, or maybe you are feeling a little self-conscious lately. Whatever the reason, this is perfectly normal. The fact that you're asking this question proves what a caring girlfriend you clearly are. Our minds often tend to look for negative things more so than positive. I and thousands of others can relate to this feeling as well. When I find myself getting jealous or paranoid, I try to stay as distracted as possible by cleaning the house or venting to a friend. Usually by the time I've finished cleaning or venting I feel so much better, I don't build up resentment towards my boyfriend or waste the day being unhappy.
musichung53
May 18th, 2020 2:09am
It's Okay to have such fantasy because human beings are complicated.The feeling of uncertainty and anxiety will reflect on the expectation on others. For instance, I used to imagine my partner hurt me to gain a sense of security, so that I can experience the painful feeling in advance in my imagination.That was safe for me because it was only imagination. So I will be mentally prepared when I have to face the real hurtful situation. For me, it's a self-protection. I also talked to my friends a lot about similar topics. They also said they had similar imagination that their love ones hurt them badly. And the reason behind that, we all agree is that we are too afraid to lose them.