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Why do women cheat instead of breaking up?

185 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2022 at 11:55pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 7th, 2017 10:22am
I think women cheat because they feel like they don't want to go through all the troubles for a break-up.
Selcoutha
December 8th, 2017 3:07pm
I don't believe a particular gender does this. This is heavily dependent on the situation. Say, A and B are in a relationship. A wants to break up and B doesn't believe them or can't understand why they want to move on from the relationship. Now A can't find a way to get the relationship over with and thinks of cheating to be the last straw. Since in all probability B wouldn't want A back after they slept with someone because pride or because they finally realise that A really wants to move on.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 1:30am
Maybe for many reasons. 1) They got accustomed to you. 2) They are relying on you financially and can't support themselves. 3) No satisfaction in a current relationship and looking for excitement. 4) They believe having two partners in life is acceptable/normal. 5) They are scared of being alone, in case one partner decides to leave you. 6) They enjoy the freedom of having to choose between the partners instead of being stuck in one relationship.
wavedancer18
December 9th, 2017 7:51pm
Because they are scared of their partner and losing the security and stability that they bring. Ironically when women harness their won independance, it makes them more desirable to men
HiddenSoul1714
December 29th, 2017 8:22am
Obviously this can have many answers and does not apply to all women. Maybe few do and I’m not saying my answer is completely correct, yet sometimes women can get emotionally attached to someone so much, but something is stopping them from continuing to stay with the partner. SOME may cheat so that they give their partner a reason to break up with them, even if they don’t/do want to break up emotionally.
olivia987
January 6th, 2018 3:37pm
Firstly, every woman is different, so this doesn't apply to everyone, but in my experience, women cheat because they're unsatisfied in only a part of their relationship, so they want to find that part in another person.
sereneWillow87
January 10th, 2018 3:31pm
Anyone can cheat, men and woman. I believe people cheat instead of breaking up because they still want there partner or they are using their partner for somthing or scared to be without their partner but they also may feel the need for attention else where, self esteem boost, they are selfish, they like the risk etc etc the list could go on forever.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 7:27pm
Sometimes people, not just women, are very afraid of being alone. Most people have trouble to admit this. Often times, people do not act badly out of malicious intent, but rather out of fear and self-preservation. This is instinctual for human beings and it can be difficult to recognize and change our behaviour to face our fears and do the right thing - talk about our feelings.
mustanglady
January 24th, 2018 12:52am
low self esteem and lack of communication. needs validation by being in control that way. selfishness is a big part. sad thing is they feel so bad about themselves that being used for sex makes them feel like a somebody
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 2:23am
They cheat because maybe there partners doing the same thing, it there loves fade away or maybe you do something that is hurtful
Mushu74
January 31st, 2018 11:21pm
Not all women cheat. However, some people find difficulty in being alone, its almost like a comfort blanket. Some people can feel afraid of being alone
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 4:10am
Just aint happy insecure and aint happy with what they have i guess everything happens for a reason
Anonymous
February 18th, 2018 9:00pm
Speaking from the perspective of a woman, I feel this question is very generalized. Though, I believe women get to cheat because they are not fulfilled in their current relationship, but they tend to have faith, and hope that somehow things will eventually get better. So they cheat, but don't leave the relationship, because maybe one day he will grant all their wishes and they will be happy.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:30am
Because they, unlike men, have much stronger emotional connections than men do. They may seek that sort of attention from someone else, yet still want their original person. That said, men can be that way too.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 4:08am
It's not just women. Bad decisions are universal.
helenzhang19
April 4th, 2018 9:33am
That's not always true. People who cheat, men or women, usually are just confused about what they actually want. Maybe they just can't find a way to ask for a break up decently and got frustrated from that.
glassmarble
April 4th, 2018 12:03pm
Not all do. Women as well as men may have different reasons for not wanting to break up, for example fear of conflict or violence, fear of lonliness, or just because they aren't sure about their feelings.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 3:48am
Some women are comfortable with the men they are with even though they aren’t happy. They want to maintain the happy relationship image than breakup and deal with all the emotions after a breakup. By cheating women feel a sence of power & a sence of independence to do what they want, but they can come back to their significant other who knows them like no other.
clearmind73
April 6th, 2018 3:44pm
women are sensitive than male. most of the time when they want to get over someone they talk to someone close leading to get emotionally attached most of the time (Not judging). leading them to cheat than break up and then they have no choice.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2018 7:00pm
That's not true, not all women cheat instead of breaking up. And if that happens, it the communication that lacks in the relationship.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 5:59am
Well now, you can say the same thing about mens as well. But there are many reasons depending on each individual. So someone might cheat firstly cause they just aren't committed to you. Or they might not take this relationship seriously. Also someone might cheat because they feel like your not giving them attention or care and they try to get that from other people. Some other people cheat cause they can't lose their partner, their scared because at the same time they may not love you exactly the way you love them but they do care about you and don't want you hurt. The thing is, there are many reasons why people would cheat and not break up, but you got to ask them why, because you could be equally faulted as well, maybe you don't care as much or pay attention to your partner and neglect them which could lead them to cheat even when they might still love you?
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 6:20am
women are light hearted,and thus too afraid to break someone's heart directly,thus they might avoid it by not letting it out
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 11:36pm
It depends on the woman. Some still have emotions tied to the person but don’t know how to leave. So they rather get the partner to break up with them so it will remove the guilt
Greenpy
April 16th, 2018 11:16pm
Sometimes people cheat. Men and women. It's best to try and understand 'why' people cheat. There are many reasons and some are easier to understand than others. Talking through 'cheating' can help you both to see 'why' and sometimes help resolve the issues.
eternalOasis79
May 17th, 2018 9:26am
Cheating is neither a female nor male issue, they both do it. People cheat for many reasons but most of them fall in one or both of two categories: something lacking in their relationship or something lacking in themselves. No matter the reason cheating is never okay. If it has already happened there is still hope but only if each party is willing to be very honest and do a lot of work.
softPoetry23
May 22nd, 2018 10:13pm
A lot of reasons, probably similar to the ones that men cheat too. :) Someone close to me cheated on their man that they were technically married to because they felt like they couldn't survive independently (finance-wise), they 'had to' cheat in order to retain a part of their sanity and because the stakes were too high if the other relationship didn't work out and breaking up would mean that there would have been no fallback.
MissNadia
May 31st, 2018 2:44am
They cheat for someone sort of shield to help the pain they are emotionally going through..they dont want to loose thier significant other but st the same time if that someone us not giving them what they need to go looking for it in another individual
KindOfAFriend
June 9th, 2018 9:59am
They don’t wanna feel alone even if the relationship is not happy and they wish for something else they don’t feel worthy or good enough to risk the relationship
blindIcicle1966
June 22nd, 2018 2:37pm
Unfortunately, this is entirely situational. Did this happen to you recently? or do you have experience with this? Are you concerned that you will be cheated on?
Anonymous
June 28th, 2018 11:27am
This question isn't limited to just women. People are selfish. it is good to have the cake and eat it.