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Why is he ignoring me after breakup?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 08/24/2020 at 6:16pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
Smags
November 30th, 2017 3:04am
He may just need some personal space. People might need to distance themselves to think clearly and rationally on situations, especially traumatic or emotionally stressing ones. Give these people time.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 3:14pm
This is something a lot of people will do. It may seem painful right now, but it is going to help both of you regain a sense of self and learn to once again be responsible for your own happiness.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2018 4:16pm
He is trying to get over you. It's not easy to talk to a ex right after a breakup it just means your still holding on. Its just his way of dealing with the breakup doesn't mean he doesn't wanna reply he just thinks it's best for both of you.
shepppie
March 21st, 2018 8:23pm
He is probably trying to get over you, especially if you're the one who broke up with him. It's not the best way to move on, but it's common.
EmmaGraymd
March 29th, 2018 3:08am
If he initiated the breakup, it may be that he wants to move on in his life and he feels it best to ignore you to either hide from the emotional damage he is enduring. By ignoring—out of side, out f mind, he is masking any feelings he attaches to your past relationship.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 9:27pm
Breakups can be hard for people. It can make people distant while they're going throw this. The best thing you can do is give him space and don't pressure him to talk. Let him take as long as he needs.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 4:02pm
He may need space to get his thoughts together and that's exactly what you need to give him. He will come around.
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 1:02am
depends on the situation. he may need some space right now.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 4:19pm
Because maybe he is hurting too, and that's his way of coping up with the pain. You both got hurt, maybe different levels of pain and you both have to deal with it separately this time.
FeelingTheSpace
June 10th, 2018 1:02am
Breakups are emotionally taxing and confusing in many level. It takes time to figure out your emotions and trial and error could be a way to do this. Also, people sometimes need space to heal.
SitaV
June 14th, 2018 9:20am
It is hard to know for sure why others behave the way they do. It is more worthwhile to focus on yourself and your needs. Feeling lonely and wanting to reach out to an ex is perfectly normal. Remind yourself why you two have separated and shift the comfort and support that you may be seeking in him to your friends and/or family.
GreenShades
June 18th, 2018 9:22am
Firstly undestanding the fundementatl of a 'break up' is very important. When you break up with another person, another person breaks up with you, or you agree to break up, you have no intention (at the time) to continue the relationship. The relationship is over. Perhaps there can be friendship but the relationship there once was is done. You do not intend to continue seeing each other romantically at all. And to manage break up, rule no#1 : you have to completely CUT TIES. You should not meet/ talk/ keep any contact with your ex till you have moved on. Rule no#2 : Dont engage in any activity that tempts you from looking at him or his memories either on social media or any other medium. You have to take care of yourself. In order to truly heal from a breakup, you need to focus on bettering yourself.
Alidoruta2help
June 24th, 2018 1:56am
Because you broke up and he is probably trying to figure out his feelings and move on with his life. Maybe you should do the same. If you broke up that means that you had enough reasons and decided that the relationship is not worth the investment of time and feelings. Now both of you should have respect of each other's mourning phase and keep the distance to allow feelings to calm down. If you keep in contact it's hard to forget and forgive. Time cures everything but you need to give it time. And you should also ask yourself why do you care now about him not giving you attention anymore? He doesn't owe it to you anymore as much as you don't him
GAddams
July 8th, 2018 1:11am
He may find it difficult or painful to be around you, especially if the breakup wasn't his choice. Even if it was mutual or his idea, he may be struggling with the change. Give him time to handle his feelings, and perhaps with time you two can return to a friendlier situation.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 6:31pm
Many times after a breakup people want to do their own thing and take a break and just be on their own for a while. It may not be ignoring but he may just be trying to take care of himself and you're viewing it as ignoring. Don't think too deep into it as it will only make you feel worse.
ComfortablyNumb7676
January 12th, 2019 9:50am
Because he needs time to heal as well. It hurts for you, or maybe you're ok and don't need the time away. But often, both people need time to get over it. It's a shock when a relationship ends, everything changes, you go from spending a lot of time with that person to just not. And you're used to sharing your day and your thoughts with them and it's over so you can't do that anymore. Sometimes the easiest way to move on is silence and I have noticed that a lot of people use this as a means of coping. Once he's healed, if he wants to be friendly, he will talk to you again.
Anonymous
April 6th, 2019 12:05am
If your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is ignoring you after a breakup, this could be because he or she feels uncomfortable talking to you. They may feel too upset about the breakup, then avoiding you in a hopeful attempt to forget it. Breakups can be difficult for both parties and the other person may feel differently about the breakup than you do. The other person could find it too painful to continue having a friendship or having casual chat occasionally as it could be a reminder of what you used to have together. This usually happens after a recent breakup, time is a great healer, if you want you can wait a few weeks and they tend to get in touch them selves or may feel ready to talk when you contact them.
Anonymous
December 13th, 2019 1:26pm
Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup, it must be hard for you. If you did something wrong, leading to the breakup, he might be still mad at you, thus he isn't talking. Or it could be him needing to sort out his feelings after the breakup. Feelings can be pretty messed up after breakups and I'm sure you and him need time to think things out. Maybe he just isn't a talkative person. For example, I've met people in my life who would only talk when necessary. But i do not know your boyfriend, i believe that among us, you know him best. I trust that you'll find out why soon and i believe in you. Hope things get better.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2020 10:36pm
The reason could be because he wants a clean break and a fresh start and he thinks that it is for the best that you part in that way . You may prefer contact still but it could lead to problems and may give you the notion that he intends to make it up with you again . This may leave the break up a lot harder for you to accept and move on for . So it may be he thinks that this is the best way to do things even though it seems difficult for you to see why he is not giving you any attention
RaveRae
May 23rd, 2016 2:47am
Break ups are actually hard on every party involved. Sometimes ignoring the person is their way of dealing with the break up.
Lilypeace
June 4th, 2016 6:38am
maybe he really in pain ? and cant get over just give him time to move and maybe when he already move on he can talk to you .
ComeLeanOnMe
June 8th, 2016 10:17pm
Breaking up can be a very difficult transition. Everyone has their own approach for when it comes to coping with it! For some, it is easier to just avoid the situation and not interact anymore. Think of it as "out of sight, out of mind." When one keeps communicating with someone they are trying to get over, regular communication can make that nearly impossible!
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 4:19pm
I'm no expert but I've had experience. And he's is probably ignoring you because he wants to move on. And if I had contact with you it will probably be much harder for him to be able to.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 8:38pm
He could be trying to learn how to cope knowing that there is no longer a relationship. Some people need to be alone after a breakup so that they can heal the part that is hurting them.
Danielle806
July 3rd, 2016 10:49am
Because you two broke up silly! You should just move on it will help you get over him and start a new chapter in your life
HopieRemi
July 8th, 2016 8:21am
Sometimes breakups are awkward for the other party. There could be some residue feelings left over and they can't be around you. Or maybe if it's him who broke up with you, he just thinks it's too awkward to be your friend cause he broke up with you. But one way to find out for sure is to ask.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 9:28pm
Guys often cannot deal with emotions as easily as girls can, and so it does take some time for them to process how they feel. They will try to distance themselves to gain composure. He might feel the need to cut all contact in order to cope and move on with his life.
PatientOwl
July 14th, 2016 1:42am
It's possible he just wants to move on and staying in contact with you would make that harder. He could be trying to avoid hurting you (and himself) any further
YukiSYan246
July 17th, 2016 3:16am
It takes time to heal or he doesn't want things between both of your to get awkward. They said if both of them can still become friends after break up, either they never love each other or they still love each other.
1serenity1
July 17th, 2016 11:35pm
He is likely to be hurting after the breakup. He may need a little time before speaking to him. Then he may be open to talking to you.