Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

There are so many mixed memories with an ex. There are the feelings of happiness, remembering when the person made you smile or did special things for you. But along with the good there's the bad. There are the times you disagreed, had fights, and the breakup. Whether you ended things or they did, there are negative feelings associated with that event. And it can make things very difficult when you are trying to move on. You may still be reeling from the breakup, or the interaction may bring back up the amorous feelings, but the hurt will be reopened and can shake your world. You may also feel like you have to prove to them how much better you are without them or how well you're doing. This can hurt you if you're trying to be someone you aren't to make them feel bad if they've left you or make them jealous if you left them.

It's very hard to talk to an ex because of the fear that they'll degrade you or you'll have to go through the fear of rejection, this is really difficult as an ex is someone that you have loved before, and cutting that off can be very difficult and seeing them with someone else is almost painful. Especially if you've just gotten over the heartbreak, it's almost like you relapse back into that phase of grief and misery. An ex is difficult to talk to also because of the fact that you left him/her for a reason. He/she might have been a jerk or he/she might've been toxic, so talking to them would be awkward yet agonizing.

it’s hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend because you have a history and so many feelings attached to it. it’ll become easier to talk to them eventually but it’s going to be hard to talk to them for a while because you’re so used to talking to them and thinking of them as one of the most important people in your life and then suddenly they aren’t really in your life anymore but you still have all of those feelings but you’re not doing anything with them. when you break up, the feelings are still there but you keep them inside and, when you see an ex, they all come flooding back.

It has to do with emotions. Akwardness as I have experienced it so far has to do with emotions, or more precisely it has to do with yoursel feeling out of his comfort zone. Whether it is dealing with a stranger, being in a middle of a confrontation or meeting with your ex. People feel akward because they lack awareness of the situation or they get emotionally or better mentally blocked. They do not know how to respond to the situation at hand as they do not know what to expect or they do not have a specific outcome in mind. When you break up, you decide from that moment and on that you’lol exclude the other person from your life. Some people have the emotional capacity to handle a friends with benefits situation or just friends after a break up. Some other don’t.

It's not hard in general. I saw all possibilities, easy, hard, and all in between. Depends on multiple things, or forces. Memories, habits developed together, especially those negative ones. These get activated, and it's like both individuals see through glasses with thick colored glasses. Somehow, whenever you see a person from the past, it's like everything continues from where it was last time. Clearly generates confusion. Another thing is clearly the actual dissonance between the two. In the past, this dissonance was there, but individuals worked subconsciously to get over it, being together, forced to create harmony, for the relationship to continue. But after you get separated, no need for that work. And when you come back together, dissonance is very sharp and clear. As it always was, but now there is no active work to balance it. Then you have the current situations. He might be involved in another relationship, she might be involved in another relationship. Those partners are watchful :D The current relationships, are blocking. Then you have potentially repressed things, that were never said, and when you get together again, those things bubble up, and distort the contact, making it hard to happen. Plus other micro forces that i cannot recall now. But these are most important ones i see.

You feel all the emotions rushing back, especially if the relationship was toxic you feel bad because you settled for less. Well, most of the time, we can't help but keep thinking about the relationship that was before, and it's hard to accept the fact that it's over now. And also, feeling of guilt, when you feel you could have saved the relationship. Most times we still feel something for our ex and we are a little bit scared that he or she might not feel the same way anymore. You might as well feel as if you have failed your ex

It usually depends on the situation of your past relationship and how you think the other person has changed or moved on. Being friends with your ex is not that difficult if things were smooth before between both of them but if things were too wrong which has affected your life in a bad way or maybe a bad influence then i think it becomes more harder to go back to the same person even for just a quick chat. As in Example, a violent partner does not even deserve a hi from you after you have parted ways as you were in a toxic relationship then and moving on must have been hard too. (toxic relationship)

Sometimes we believe we have moved in from a person and even when you have a new partner, there may not have been enough "closure" and there may still be answers you need to find out. Despite how things end between two people, there will always be unanswered questions or unresolved feelings and this may not always be because you are still in love with them, but simply because things ended. No matter what happened between you and an ex, nothing can change the fact you were apart of each others lives and nothing can change the memories you created together. So even when things have been left on good terms, it can be difficult to talk to an ex because they used to be apart of your life and now they aren't. It's only human to miss an emotion or to look back on memories and have feelings. It doesn't mean you still care for them, it just means those memories remind you of a time when things were different.

I think it's so hard to talk to an ex because you have to talk to them so differently. You have so many thoughts you're used to sharing and so many memories about the things you did; it's awkward to pretend none of it ever happened. Sometimes it's difficult for one of two reasons: either they broke up with you and you're unsure how to approach them again, or you broke up with them and you're not sure of how to address their hurt feelings. However, an attempt to reconnect is always great. Some exes turn out to be great friends.

Sometimes as time passes, we tend to romanticize or look upon our ex with rose coloured glasses (remembering the good times). Talking to them gives us nostalgia and transports us to the time we were together (back to our past self). Sometimes they've caused us significant pain, but we cannot forget them. Hatred, bitterness and anger aren't the opposite of love. Indifference is. We don't like to admit to ourselves that they're presence, online or in person, affect us still. Because, like it or not, a part of our heart left with them. Sometimes, we hate to admit to ourselves that we've struggled to get it back ever since.

There could be a list of reasons why talking to an ex can be so difficult. To name a few, it could be because there is unfinished business between the two people. Naturally, this can lead to a range of positive and negative emotions. Another reason could be because of the damaged that may have been caused through out the relationship. The possibility of one or both people have new partners, and that most of the time makes it incredibly difficult to be able to talk your ex. Additionally, the break up itself may have been really bad. These are just to name a few. Every relationship is different so ultimately the reasons why it is difficult to talk to an ex will change from one person to the next.

Ex-boyfriends / Ex-girlfriends can be difficult to talk to because you once had an intimate and close connection with them and now you don't. The loss of that connection puts you and your ex in a different, uncharted territory. You don't know what your new connection will be like, or what communication with your ex with no connection between the two of you will be like if the two of you are unable to reconnect in a way that isn't romantic, sexual, etc. Entering into a social situation without any knowledge of what's likely to transpire can be scary. We can't prepare ourselves for what we can't predict, so entering into a conversation with an ex with no clue what the tone of the discussion will be like can cause anxiety. How can you know how warm & friendly or cold & uncaring you should be? And, most importantly, how can find ways of protecting your broken or newly-mended heart when you have no idea how a person will react to you? You can't. You're entering into a situation in which you're necessarily vulnerable. Being vulnerable with someone is difficult for a lot of people, and being vulnerable with someone you have a rocky past with is ever harder.

After breakup your mind clearly accept the fact that you both can't be together for lifetime but your heart still beats for them. You still get butterfly whenever you hear from them. It's really hard to forget about someone after remembering and talking to them daily. So I think it's all because your mind wants to forget that person but talking to them daily won't let it happen so it's hard to talk to an ex bf or ex gf. So it's better to stop talking to them otherwise you will end up hurting yourself. Try to move on and be happy.

That is Because you have recently been in a relationship that is more than friends and it’s difficult to see them as not your partner even if you are quite close it’s still weird for you. You can become friends with your ex but It will never be the same as before you were together.

There are a lot of strong emotions involved, maybe you feel let down or the promises made in the relationship weren't kept.There may still be one or both people that still have feelings of love towards the other and it can be hard when the feelings are not mutual.Sometimes it is just that you want to move on and in order to do so you feel you need to completely avoid your ex, or the whole thing just hurts a little to much.It could even be perhaps you are scared of relighting old feelings and you know the relationship doesn't work.

it is hard because of the moments you shared with them. however if you let go and think of them as someone who knows about you and was a great friend it might help. look at them as a person you know and not as your ex. but before talking to them make sure you have moved on and made yourself a better and independent person. if in the end you are still feeling hard to talk to them , maybe you should take your time and not try very hard to make a conversation . your comfort is most important when you talk to someone

It is a very emotionally charged situation. When you create a bond with someone, the bond never really goes away. It is likely they will always hold a place in your heart causing conversations to bring up varying difficult emotions. It is not necessarily a bad thing to have a hard time talking to an ex-partner. It is just a normal thing in life. I know I have struggled with even seeing my ex-partners. When you love hard, it hits harder when they are no longer that close with you. I don’t think it should be easy to talk with a past serious partner.

I think, it is hard because there were so many shared dreams, expectations and goals that couldn't be fulfilled. There was a sense of 'ownership' and 'entitlement' that is no longer there. You have to let the person be as they are. That is probably one of the toughest things to do, whether in or outside of a relationship. Outside of a relationship, we just train our minds to have fewer expectations. In a romantic relationship, we expect the partner to somehow fulfill our emotional, companionship, physical, intellectual, humour and compatibility needs. And, every relationship, usually begins with the promise of that. So, in my personal opinion, the sadness of the hope being crushed always remains. 'What could have been' always remains. Rosy retrospection always makes people forget why it was necessary to leave. Also, bonds formed and not allowed to decline naturally leave scars..and unfinished wounds. Hence. If both people are spiritually evolved and have forgiven each other and also don't feel guilty, a friendship is possible. But I think these unresolved emotions make it very difficult

I was married for 17 years before I divorced my husband for adultery. We met up quite some time later and all the hurt, anger, feelings of betrayal and grief just welled up. I found it so difficult to even look at him never mind talk to him. I thought I'd overcome those feelings, but there they were again. I think it's because things had never been resolved between us, I'd not been able to forgive him or myself - feelings that it was my fault he'd had to cheat, that I'd done something wrong. Though I'd rebuilt my life and was happy and contented, I think it was the lack of forgiveness and the acceptance that it wasn't my fault led to it being so difficult to talk to my ex-husband. I talked things over with a counsellor over a few months and was able to come to terms with things. I'm able to chat on the phone or text him now, but I haven't met him face-to-face for years. So, in summary, I think it's unresolved issues like being unable to forgive that makes talking to exes so hard.

hello sorry to hear that you are struggling with this feelings don't go away just because we stop talking to people but they do change in time and you will over come this I am sure try not to be too hard on yourself everyone feels the same at some point there will be a time I am sure when you can have a conversation with out feeling bad I do understand happy to speak some more if this is really upsetting you maybe try and speak when you feel more confident I hope this has made tou feel a little better

For me is not difficult. But it can be difficult when the relationship is finished in an unhealthy way. Many years ago, people had longer relationships for social, ethical, families reasons. Today we have tendency to go by the easier path instead of try harder to find solutions. Accept and understand people's felling is a day to day exercise which encounters lots of patience, love, respect and self-knowledge. This practise can be done throught many difference habits and exercises, such us meditation, yoga, cardio work out, reading healthy books and films, healthy food, good friends and many other things which can be practice in daily life activity. GMC23

talking to an ex is hard as it creates mixed emotions and feelings . Also one is not sure how the things will move with the ex. There are always some memories and experiences attached to an ex. These may be pleasant or unpleasant or disturbing, These memories create certain insecurity , One may feel re drawn to an ex or one may feel some negative feelings towards an ex. Also when does a person becomes an ex? only after a breakup. And no matter what, breakups are hard and can be more hard for one partner and there may be some unanswered questions sometimes. This makes talkin to an ex harder as one has lost that trust or bond with the person already . Also there might be some fear about how the ex can affect the person's current life .

I think that it is because the feelings are still there and you realise everything you've lost from that relationship because despite the breakup there were always good times that you shared with them. Sometimes when you still try to be friends after a breakup it's hard because you go from telling that person everything to not feeling able to tell them everything you used to be able to. It is as if you lose the person you trusted the most in the world and that's now gone. Unfortunately sometimes you can feel pressure to make sure that you don't make that relationship any worse if you've told them things about yourself that you wouldn't want sharing.

It might be because you had shared so many good times and memories, but now they are a stranger. You have to act like nothing ever happened between you two, even though you both know everything that did. You have to put aside the fact that you used to date and have feelings for each other, just to have a conversation. Yeah, it is awkward, it can be really awkward. It is hard to talk to them because you two have a history, a history of not just being friends, but dating and spending a lot of time together. That part is the hardest part to get past.

It is hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend because of the memories. After a break up, you put a lot of effort to "survive" the break up. And sooner or later, you succeed. When one of the two wants to start talking again, it is possible that one of them might not have really moved on. Suppose you are that one, talking with your ex-boyfriend will bring your memory back and you will experience pain again. it is in general hard to accept something we thought would last forever. Nobody starts a relationship thinking it will come to an end someday...

The reason you find it hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is that you once had feelings for that person. And after the breakup sometimes I feel there may be some unresolved feelings or just any feelings left. Thus, it becomes hard to talk with them with ease. You just broke up you would still have some feelings. It also happens that you used to spend so much time together that it becomes your habit to be with that person. So, it hard to get out of the habit. Anyways with time, it will get better as you will get comfortable. It is just that you are in unfamiliar situation with person than before. Just give it some time. It will get easier with time.

From my personal experience, I believe the reason for this awkwardness, is due to an unconscious sense of embarassment, on part of the person that the breakup was harder on... And also because I no longer felt comfortable talking about myself to that person, probably because it felt like they had other people/person , taking my place, some other person is now important and I no longer hold the same place in their life as I used to. And a part of me felt like talking to them, as we used to previously, might make me fall for that person again, and by instead having informal conversation, I'd only be protecting myself from the hurt and pain .

It is difficult to talk too an ex significant other because of how intimate the relationship once was and the vulnerability you've shown them in the past. Memories of the relationship can also make it difficult to speak to them in a platonic manner since the feelings for them may not have faded. If a breakup was not mutual this can also cause an awkward encounter when trying to communicate again with a person that broke your heart. Awkward tension if a once romantic relationship is changed to a friendship. Therefore, this can make conversation difficult with someone you once loved.

It can often be difficult because many of us were once quite close to our exes. After the relationship ends it is common to disregard how close that relationship was. In my experiences it is difficult to set aside and forget how intimately you once knew the person. It is really tough to go from knowing everything about each other to just being friends, or pretending to be strangers with one another. Plus several relationships don't end on the best of terms. This could also make it difficult to communicate with an ex partner.

Well, if the relationship was good I think it reminds us of what we lost which can be challenging. Conversely, if the relationship was dysfunctional it can remind us of that pain we felt with the other person. When I was younger I often tried to remain friends with my exes. I thought it was the mature decision. As I got older, I started to feel like cutting those ties was probably the right decision to avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort. As we age, if we're lucky, we get better at exercising self care.