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Why is it so hard to tell yourself that it is time to move on?

31 Answers
Last Updated: 08/06/2018 at 3:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology

Counselor

I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 12th, 2015 11:48am
The idea of "moving on" is hard because we assume that we have to forget everything about the person we loved and just start a new romantic life from the beginning. I believe that it can't work out this way and it is not supposed to be like this. Rather, try to accept the fact that you loved this person and you did your best you could for the moment you were together. Try to live with the feeling of being grateful of them sharing part of their live with you, rather then with pain and resentment. The thing is, these feelings are happening in your body and don't even affect the other person, but they do affect you. By practicing aceptance, you allow yourself to move on.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2014 6:44am
Because behind every thought there is a fight between brain and mind. the brain wants you to move on but the mind restrains it . Train your mind and you will move on :)
VanessaM
December 3rd, 2014 7:39am
Sometimes we get so attached or comfortable with people or things that we do not want to let go. We feel we cannot find better or do better.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2014 1:48pm
It is hard to move on because moving on means that we have to let go of a situation that made us happy in the past. It also involves change and uncertainty about the future whig can make people feel anxious and insecure. Last but not least one could be afraid that they may never be happy happy after letting go because they will never find anything better than what they had.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2016 2:56pm
I think one of the main reasons why it's hard to move on, is because we are still in denial of what has happened. I fell in love with my best friend and there was a time where I would have done anything for him. However he couldn't let go of his ex. At the same time he left me hanging. I knew I didn't deserve that but I just couldn't let go. Eventually I did and I have stopped speaking to him altogether. The thought that last year at this time we were the best of friends and now complete strangers and quite scary. As i said it's denial.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2014 3:22am
Its really hard to tell yourself to move on because we are humans.We get easily attached to people andits difficult to part ways.We love ourselves and when something hurts us its really difficult.But at the end of the day,we do not always get what we want in life.So if moving on is the best way then we should accept it.
beautifulKermit11
June 5th, 2015 11:14pm
No body likes change. We are wired to habit and it is comfortable to us. Moving on means we need to make changes and that's why it is hard. But once the step has taken it will become an adventure and eventually the new beginning becomes normal. It's that first step needed to take the change that is hard which in turn makes moving on hard as we are habitual creatures....
Anonymous
November 25th, 2014 7:35pm
Your heart may still be attacked to that person, even if your brain is telling you its time to move on. The best thing to do is give it time :) Time heals almost all wounds
Anonymous
March 11th, 2015 7:00pm
Sometimes it's because you are so used to feeling one way, it's hard to just feel another quickly, usually it is a long process
AprilM110
November 23rd, 2015 6:28am
becsuse my heart says to stay but my mind says to let go. It's like a balloon, you can't hold on forever.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2017 9:46pm
Because you are so used to the old way. A part of you is unsure about the future and find comfort in holding onto the passed (the thing you know). We are scared of the unknown. A part of you can't imagine your life being different. Sometimes you feel as if you will never feel that type of love or care for someone or something again. A part of us also wonders why we weren't good enough. It makes us feel like we are a failure. Moving on is hard. But time heels. And there is no such thing as too long or too short. Everyone is different and will move on at their own time.
originalLion57
June 4th, 2015 1:31pm
Because it's difficult to let something go. If you've spent a long time feeling and thinking about something and it's affected you a lot, it's a huge challenge. You have to feel ready and you have to feel sick and tired of being sick and tired of the thing/person you need to move on from.
gracefulUnicorns50
July 6th, 2015 7:27am
It's hard because in your heart you still love that person and don't want to move on your heart is hoping that he or she will change it can happen but that person has to be willing to change if not move on
Bellastasia
August 3rd, 2015 6:45pm
People seek comfort in familiar situations and places. Moving on is an unknown, you can't predict how it will pan out. That is a scary concept for some people.
Greatlistener87
June 20th, 2016 2:52am
Nobody reacts positively to changes. Being comfortable is the easiest way to go. But it does not mean that it is the right way to go though. Tell yourself that the change is good and it makes you grow s a person. Sometimes the best way to move on is to accept the changes that comes with it.
thoughtfulPomegranate86
September 6th, 2016 3:23am
Usually you hang on to the good memories in the relationship, making it hard to accept the current reality of a relationship because it's hard to let go of something that did make you happy.
smileforawhile
December 7th, 2014 3:57am
Because some people are scared to let go and move on. You may be afraid that moving on means forgetting.
minervasarrowcomplex
December 21st, 2014 6:26am
The insidious side effect of psychological pain is that we can begin to believe that the suffering is who we are, and that we have, and will always be this way. This familiarity is a lot like a security blanket, and it can become difficult to acknowledge that even though our emotions are real, not everything the voices in our head tell us is true. Letting go of that security blanket, and calling out that suffering for what it is scary. It's an admission and surrender in the face of instincts that tell us to respond with fear. It is essential to remember that this kind of self-awareness, and honesty, come from a place of love, and to enact from a place of love when your instinct is to fear shows true bravery.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2015 11:21pm
Humans are creatures are habits which would be one of the reasons why we get stuck in the past and what we had an idea of making us happy. Write down all the things you would like to do for yourself to see if that can help you create more goals.
magicalsummer152
June 14th, 2015 7:37am
its hard only till you dont want to the time you are done with your partner you move on.any one can move on its not difficult i swear.only if we believe in ourselves
HelpWisely
November 2nd, 2015 9:16am
The mind can only operate in the past or the future. Mind cannot be in the present moment and that is the only reality. Past and future are illusions, they do not exist nor can they ever. In order to move on you have to see life as it is right now and that is not possible because your mind won't let you which is what causes the difficulty of moving on.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 1:44pm
Maybe because you have still hope that the "person" will change, you stil see yourself with him/her.
Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 4:17pm
Because you don't want to believe yet that it's over. You want to take that one last chance you might have with him/her. It's okay to feel this way. You always keep having that one last ray of hope. But after a while you will know what to do. When it's really over your heart will want to do it no more. And then you'll know it's time to move on. And you will move on.
CROB
November 28th, 2017 9:11am
It’s hard to tell yourself that it is time to move on because “moving on” requires accepting an outcome that may still be very unsatisfying to us—and clinging to something gives us the feeling that we can still change the outcome.
Samanthaf016
July 16th, 2018 3:28pm
A fear of change. A fear of not being happy again. Not knowing what will come next. Not knowing what will happen and how it'll happen.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2018 3:10pm
Because you don't want it to be over. Because in the back of your mind and in the xeptg of your loving pure heart, you still have hope that the person will change that they'll start caring more. Because at 11:11 or upon seeing a shooting star you still waste that wish on them. On you too back together and on your happiness back. But just remember you shouldn't look for it at the place you lost it to begin with. People don't change.
staytruebeyou
November 28th, 2014 3:17pm
You have been there for so long,change can be in just a day,but most change takes a long time,change can be very hard and is not a quick process but being happy and thinking about the future is a key to being succsesful when moving on
Anonymous
January 6th, 2015 2:30am
Sometimes it is hard for people to let go of the things that make them feel certain ways. It's human to do so.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 1:10pm
Most of us when in trouble dont really work to solve our problem, we will be engaged pittying ourselves. We have to realize that we will have a better lifw only if we try
FoxInTheBox
December 14th, 2015 5:34pm
It's all in the human mind - it keeps playing these little games with you. Unfortunately, it sets you back at times.