Why is it that sometimes I wake up I think about my first ex boyfriend?
Last Updated: 09/20/2016 at 2:46am
Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust
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The first love is usually very intense, it's usually where we learn to relate with people intimately, where we've first put our hearts on the line and opened up to another outside of the parental set up, and it often becomes the one we measure expectations about present and future loves against, if there are unresolved echos of trauma or attachments from that first relationship, the patterns can re-manifest in other relationships until addressed, it's like a similar script with different actors. If something of this nature is appearing in our current relationship expereince, i.e. we're going through some similar relationship issue's or anything that may be connected with how we felt during this first relationship, and we've slept on those thoughts and feelings; as the subconscious goes about organising and interpreting things in our sleep, it might be pointing to clues of our current experiences roots, or ways in which it's connected to our past, so on waking it's quite possible these residual thoughts would be there. Once we become aware of these connections within our perception we can then go about processing, resolving and moving beyond the pattern.
It could mean multiple things like that you still have feeling for him, you miss him, or that you don't have closure over the reason you two broke up.
First loves can often be remembered the most, and as the most pure of all of your relationships due to the fact that since it is your first time loving someone, you haven't been hurt before, and therefore you gave your all in that relationship and loved openly without any fear of being hurt. I think everyone remembers their first good relationship fondly.
I think your first thought when you wake up is about your ex boyfriend because he was most likely your first of a lot of things, like your first kiss; just your best memories were with him so he has a place in your heart that your longing to have again.
Morning thoughts are always the hardest, as you're leaving your dreams and when a relationship ends, your dreams tend to revolve around it. Acknowledge those thoughts, they'll go away with time. If you can, go out for a quick run, a breath of fresh air, it'll help you clear your mind in the first place :)
Often times our first ex-boyfriends or girlfriends leave a mark on us because they are our first taste of what it means to be in a relationship. It makes sense that you might wake up thinking about them every once in a while because they were an important part of your life at one point or another.
I think that part of your life, that memory doesn't ever really go away because it was so precious and no matter how it ended, it will remain etched in memory because it's your first and that is special. It is also known that the things that affected our souls the most tend to resurface.
Any individual that has played a huge role and impact on your life and then abruptly leaves will constantly be on your mind. But eventually the thought of him will leave when you start to focus on other aspects of live.
First relationship are always special in many kinds.. if we don't find the love of our life, we do learn many lessons for life.. may be because he made us feel special or may be you learnt lesson for lifetime..
Most people find themselves at some point thinking about their first everything. To think about a first boyfriend is common as well. Maybe there is something specific in that relationship you are missing, or worried about. Write out the thing you are thinking of him and compare the list to your current life.
Maybe you could easily be missing him but you don't want to or it could just be a normal reaction to him.
I felt unloved and unhappy. I missed the feeling of having someone to hug. I wanted some comfort. I felt lonely and he was able to make me feel not lonely
Maybe it could be that you have not truly let go of your ex yet. It will be good to do so as this will help you to move on.
It wouldn't be normal not to think about someone that you've connected with so much. Remember the good times you've shared together and be thankful for them but remember - it's only the beginning. You have so much more wonderful things, experiences and people ahead of you in life.
Your first love usually forms a basis for new relationships so it is completely normal to still think about this person. You may think about the things that he made you feel to fall in love with him, but it is also just as important to try to not compare others to him, as there was a reason for the relationship coming to an end.
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