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Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?

156 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 2:28pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
SAHURAD
June 28th, 2018 5:54pm
well you know what, let them be. i read this line somewhere," if you start thinking what others think about you, what will there be left for them to think". I had a bad time as a kid, and was bullied, maybe my situation is opposite of yours but i guess the solution is same, let them be rude, let them call you names, all you have to do is control your mind, to not get affected from these. thats much easier than controlling others into believing you are good ryt.
SydneyJude
July 3rd, 2018 4:47am
When I was in school, people thought that I was bitter, and upset at reality, changing their minds is out of the question. The important thing is to realize that you are your own person, and that no one else can put you into a box unless you let them.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 2:08am
Do some random acts of kindness for people or just go up and have a friendly chat with them! Most people will change their minds once you do it enough, and they will see you are a great friend.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2018 3:38am
1) Stop being calculative immediately and start showing your gentler, less angry side...with time, they will forget why/if you were bitter and just remember you were not. 2) if you are misunderstood and a clarification-chat can help...go ahead have it! have a heartfelt and honest one =) 3) Remember if you disagree...you can voice out your disagreement...ANYTIME. but voice it out...dont force it...voice it. and if they dont accept your views know that you are not wrong...but know you can only voice...g'luck!
LovingPhantom
July 15th, 2018 3:55am
First I recommend to look inwardly on 1)Why they may think that and 2)Why does that affect you. You may choose to not listen to them and to be yourself, because what others think does truly matter in the long run. Eventually, they won't mean anything to you. However, if you want to smooth the waters persay and create a positive atmosphere around you, maybe you could try doing positive things in your community. It could be community service or helping in a club or simply being there for a friend. When you bring good into the world, you'll get good out. So what if you're bitter? You are an amazing human being with a world of potential. And if they can't see how amazing you are, then find friends who do. You'll always have someone that doesn't like you and that's okay, it's a part of life.
WonderfullTree
July 20th, 2018 3:33pm
This might be caused by either your body language or your actually behaviour/speech. So here are three suggestions, one for each; 1) Practise in a mirror different facial expressions, do this at home, not at school! This will help you learn to control the muscles in your face. 2) Avoid giving negative comments/feedback unless explicitly asked. There is absolutely no win for randomly saying "Bob's shirt is ugly" however if you were to randomly say things like "Caren's dress is beautiful!" there will be :) 3) It has never hurt anyone to do a random act of kindness for someone. Hold that door, pick up something that was dropped on the floor, pick up that empty can of cola and put it in the bin. This can have immensely positive impact on both you and the rest of your school!
Allears247
July 25th, 2018 11:30am
Being bitter generally means that you are sad, down, short tempered and maybe not so easy to get along with. You can change this by being more approachable and happy in your demeanor.
miaavalentino
July 26th, 2018 4:54am
Everyone in school thinks you are bitter, you want to change that. Well you can start by trying to interact more with people, in little ways. Compliment someone, or help someone pick up their books, or even just open the door for them!
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 4:49pm
You could try being more of a happy not-bitter person and then they will see that you aren't bitter.
FriendRevka59
August 11th, 2018 11:57pm
Well at my school everyone thought that i was bitter then I started speaking kindly and calmly to my peers and they changed their minds
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 4:48pm
Have a smile on your face and be more open and out going . Join clubs and be kind with everyone . Make conversations .
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 4:11pm
You should be yourself, after all in school, most people there you won't see after you finish, if people like you it should be cause of who you are and not cause 0f who they want you to be. Just be yourself, then you don't ever have to take anything and people will for sure stick around and that'll be cause they want to, you shouldn't feel like you have to change when you're with real friends and if your friends make you feel like you need to change then they're not real friends, so to summarize, you don't change their minds, you just be yourself and if they like you or not shouldn't bother you, you attract the people, if they stay or not it's their choice
Anonymous
October 13th, 2018 5:53pm
If you mean that they think you are bitter, I don't think it's about changing their minds. You should focus on being a positive person. For example, some people rely on negativity to fuel their conversations with people. Maybe try to feel confident making positive jokes and saying positive things. Try to say hey to more people in the halls and give people lots of compliments. Try to always make it so that everyone you meet has a positive experience when they talk to you. Remember, you want to make everyone really like talking to you in their free time.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2019 10:41pm
Do not ever bother changing people's minds, it wastes so much of everyone's time. Just try and be more positive. "nothing changed but me" - see book. Change within don't try to change other people because nobody wants to be changed or told to do so. Just try to smile more. You can do anything with a smile, it'll make everything more "sunny" or positive. Just remember never to try and tell others to change and giving advice is not helpful. Be yourself, don't worry to much about what anyone else thinks.
FlightlessSongBird
July 19th, 2019 2:23pm
If it’s a matter of changing their perspectives of you, try interacting with them in ways that will reflect positively on you such as being friendly in hallways or classrooms and smiling occasionally as you pass them. Essentially, try to instill a positive impression on them. You have the power to change people’s hearts and minds and if you make a genuine effort to do so, people will notice and subconsciously begin to view you otherwise. However, be aware that there are some people who will have unfair or untrue opinions and views of you that cannot be changed.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2021 4:47pm
I can't give you advice because my advice might be wrong. you know what you should do the best. if you really don't know what to do then put it this way: Your friend says that everyone thinks she's bitter. how can she change their mind? This might help. Lots of people think different things and it's probably not right to judge. Everyone think whatever they want but it doesn't mean they're right about it because that's just judgement. Only you, you know yourself best. If your not bitter and you know it then you don't have to prove anything to anyone else
Talktotom
October 15th, 2020 9:09pm
People who are considered ‘bitter’ typically give off a negative vibe and it may be that you talk more about the negative aspects of a situation or person, or just speak more passionately when there is something negative to say. When speaking with people at school, try and balance your conversation more with more emphasis on positivity rather than negativity or try to avoid or at least not to engage too much in conversations on subjects which you feel negatively passionate about. If you feel negative about certain things and you spot a pattern, it may be worth talking to someone here to gauge some honest feedback and explore why you feel this way.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 5:09pm
Everybody has their own experiences in their heads. One might interpret a situation differently than you may interpret it. For example, sometimes people think I am shy because I am quiet, when really I'm not shy at all, in some situations I am just more reflective than outgoing. If somebody approaches you and states that you seem bitter, ask yourself, was a bitter or was I expressing something else? And if you were expressing something else, ask yourself, "okay now could that have been interpreted as bitter to somebody else?". Self awareness is the first step. Ultimately though, if you are a good person and like yourself, who cares what people think of you? don't give other people the power over how you feel.
genuineHeart3345
December 2nd, 2020 12:45am
Firstly, I don't think others' opinions of you should be something you stress over. But I totally understand how we all have our fair share of worries of how others perceive us and how we want to be perceived. I think you should just be true to yourself and show others your true authentic self. Often, people make judgments before they get to know someone, but change their minds once they get closer and understand them better. I think just being nice and trying to communicate with others can help you show who you truly are and be proud of yourself!
listeningearishere
January 21st, 2021 6:51pm
The beautiful aspect of this is that you don't have to change their minds. We all perceive things differently based off of our personal experiences and expectations formed by those experiences. You are incredible how you are. It is difficult to not focus our attention on what people think of us, as it is such a prominent part of our society; however, we are ultimately living for us and our well-being, as opposed to anyone else. Sometimes we aren't appreciated for who we are, which is frustrating, heart-breaking, and upsetting. I would encourage anyone to be who they are, their authentic selves, and surround themselves with support.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2021 7:14pm
It can be hard to get through the school day when you are concerned with what other people might be thinking of you. While you cannot directly control what others think, or change anyone's mind for them, one idea that might help get your mind off of what they think of you, and might also help them to not think of you as bitter, is to focus on yourself and finding your own personal contentment. When you are truly enjoying yourself, you are less likely to notice or care about what others might be thinking. Additionally, truly enjoying yourself and finding contentment on your own terms will make it harder for others to construe your personality or actions as "bitter" because you will likely seem happier and warmer.
serenesoul56
March 10th, 2021 9:54am
I can hear you feel incredibly hurt by how you believe others perceive you. As human beings we communicate what our thoughts and feelings about each other are through verbal and non-verbal communication. Whilst it is true that we cannot control what people think of us we can however control our own actions. Take this situation as a pointer and a sign to be more self aware. Try to see if you are showing any signs of bitterness towards people in your attitude. This may sound difficult but through some of your own introspection you can find ways to change your attitude about things and towards people and be more positive. You can unravel your thoughts and feelings through anonymous online communication from a listener or therapist on our site who specialise or have lived experience with what you are going through. Resources such as self-help guides and mindfulness exercises are be provided too on our site. You are not alone in the situation where you feel others misunderstand you as a bitter person. Misunderstandings can be cleared and what this comes from is self-acceptance, diplomacy and compassion.
organticBlueberry5504
March 25th, 2021 9:12pm
First, it should not matter what other people think of you, as long as you know you are true to yourself. That is all that matters. However, if you really want to change peoples' minds, maybe you can really try and see how other people might view you. You can ask yourself questions like: Am I not smiling to people when I walk by? Do I look standoff-ish? Am I not giving off a friendly vibe? You must be honest with yourself and dig deep to do some internal inventory and work on what you think can be changed or altered.
TheKindKaylafly
April 3rd, 2021 9:54pm
Sometimes when people have an opinion of us even if it is not true, it can make us feel annoyed and that we want to stop it. Unfortunately we cannot always change how people think of us but we can try and be kind and show that you are not bitter. I think that kindness is something that can help to influence people to not be scared of us or hold a grudge. If it is something that is making you feel anxious or unsafe though, it is very important to talk to someone for support and advice. Listeners on here cannot give advice but we are happy to listen and support you. :)
Adanna8
October 24th, 2021 12:39pm
First of all, don't live based off on people's opinions of you. Do you think you're bitter. If yes, then that's when you'll need to do something. First, I think you should try to keep a relaxed face, if you don't like smiling. Let your guard down a little, don't just build walls around yourself. Try to be more approachable. Let people feel like they can actually talk to you. Smile more. Don't force it. Just try to make yourself happy most of the time, think good thoughts, and you'll be smiling a lot. This is all my opinion though
Anonymous
April 13th, 2022 12:49am
Dont let anyone decide who you are, you are the author of your own story Don’t you listen to all that foolish words. You should only listen to your heartbeat and your love to your life you have a heart to learn how you can learn your own skills to be your best life you are and all your own skills you love 💕 and you can learn to do that life skills skills learn more about how your own is and how to do that you can better take care of yourself too much and then go back to school again soon and you will
Anonymous
January 27th, 2022 6:30pm
That sounds upsetting. You're not bitter, they probably just don't know you that well. Smiling always helps me when I feel like the people around me are judging me. I understand how frustrating worrying about what other people think can be. Just remember you are the best version of yourself and the people that know you love you.
gentleLove04
January 12th, 2022 4:59pm
Be kind and open-minded to why they think you are bitter. Ask questions and don't try to defend yourself, just listen to what they have to say and then just smile and thank them. This will allow others to see the true you as a caring and calm person. Also maybe try to stay kind by doing good things for them and not being rude(if they think you may be being rude) about a situation. Just stay calm and move on, don't let what others think to affect you. If you let it affect you, you might come off as bitter.
blissfulSoul6859
November 27th, 2021 12:29am
If that's what they think then that is their fault, they don't know you well enough to actually think that about you and to be able to have a good opinion of you that's true, you don't have to change yourself for people, and especially if they are being toxic to you. To help this and change people's minds find good friends that will accept you for who you are and don't think that about you. If you think about all the negative things that are said to you then think about all the positive in your life. Remember you are worth way more than what people tell you you are. :)
Smilethepainsaway
April 28th, 2021 7:25pm
Dear friend, Proving yourself will shot down everyone's mouth. Stay calm when people mock at you. Walk steadfast towards your goal. Someday sure you will reach success. There are various ways to prove yourself. You can either excel at studies. You can go for sports. You can also choose anything you prefer. You can excel at painting ,dancing , singing, etc., There are numerous paths to success. Choose the right one for you. Prove the best of you. You only need a little motivation to walk towards your path. But never lose hope, just remind yourself your ultimate aim, to shut everyone's mouth.