Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?
156 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 2:28pm
Moderated by
Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology
Licensed Professional Counselor
I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.
Top Rated Answers
You can never please everyone in life, you don't owe them anything so why should you prove anything to them? Being yourself is better than being someone you are not. Doesn't matter what they think of you, you live your life not them. Never let others write the story of your life.
do not try to be different, you have seen those people who seem fake dont be like that it will make you look more bitter, personnaly just be yourself if you are not bitter people will notice if you are bitter, try to be happier, dont try to change there minds just show them a different side of you if needed.
Smile.
Be cheerful and energetic. When something bothers you, cover it with kindness and forgive it.
Keep smiling and be mindful of your words and actions. Give people genuine but specific compliments on their qualities you like.
Greet everyone.
Stay Happy, and make other people happy by granting them small favors.
Good Luck!
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2017 3:53am
Try doing a little good deed everyday, like helping someone pick up their textbooks if they've dropped them. This action, no matter how small, will influence the person you helped, and maybe any bystanders that were near you. Next time that person sees you, they will look at you like the person you helped them pick up their textbooks or the person that gave them a rosin to rosin their bow in Orchestra, that really changes the person. Eventually a lot of people will see you like that, and changes their attitude towards you.
Maybe relax a little for even a few minutes and try to ask a few people why they think you're bitter. School kids/teens especially, cling on to one little thing and sometimes blow it out of proportion and it sticks with everyone. If someone tells you why they think you're bitter, don't take it personally if it's only a minor thing, and laugh it off, prompting them to relax around you too and think that you aren't so bitter afterall.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2017 6:33pm
Ask the people what am I saying that is making them think I am bitter. How can I be more aware of what I am saying, feeling or thinking?
You can't change everyone, some people you can and others can be unwavered. So i guess that;s up to you. If people think you are and you think you aren't then do what you feel is best.
They say action speaks louder than words. If they think you're bitter, then do something that makes them think otherwise! It may not work quickly, but when time passes by, they'll surely notice how you're so different from what they think.
We cant change other peoples minds because they will do and think what they want. however, we can change how we behave to others and change our attitudes. What is the reason they say you are bitter? would it be ok if you asked for personal feedback from a friend and that way you can have an idea of what to adjust in behavior or maybe change friends if you are doing all that you can
Hey there, that must be really tough to feel as though people think you're bitter, what is it you feel about it?
Anonymous
November 10th, 2017 5:47pm
Try doing small things that make people feel good even if it's just a smile. Being always ready to help with the smallest thing...or a compliment would do
Try to do kind acts, even holding the door for someone and smiling at them makes all the difference. If you feel comfortable, try to talk to someone and they will see for themselves what you are really like.
By being kind to everyone! Kindness is received if you give it, so be compassionate to all people, no matter what their gender, sexuality, age, race is.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 2:57am
Is it true? If people are letting you know that you are bitter, can you take a step back and see it from their perspectives? How do you act in school, and what can you do to change?
Anonymous
November 25th, 2017 1:08am
Going clubs, getting more active in the community& school activitys tend to have more close knit groups.
There are many things you can do to improve your vibe -- do service, meditate, sing, dance, exercise, eat well, do yoga -- but what occurs to me as the basis of all of that is to just like yourself. That helps with a lot of it. Also bitterness can arise when we feel left out of a group (chicken and egg problem), so maybe find some group you can feel included in? It will pass
Smile a lot, offer help, be friendly by listening and giving compliments, be positive and warm when talking to anyone and most importantly, don't bully or hurt anyone.
The idea is not to change their minds, but to create your own opinion about yourself. How do YOU feel about you? ...then no one else's opinion matters. They don't know you like YOU know you
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 1:19am
Well first thing you need to find out is why? If you really want to change their minds you need to find out why they think you are bitter in the first place which is why you ask them, once they tell you why or maybe they don’t (which is okay too) you can find out more and then try to do your best to stop acting like that and maybe their opinion will change. If not then they aren’t worth your time.
I'm my experience, and based on it, i believe that it's a two factor thing. First of all we cannot change other people's minds, second, the only thing we cam change is our attitude towards us and them. So if people think you're bitter, maybe try changing the way you act towards them, being kind, compassionate, careing. But always keeping in mind that it may not help at all, because we cant change what people's thoughts. And in that case, there's only one way to fix it: don't take things personally.
don't worry about changing anyone's mind, be yourself, love yourself, be confident in what you do, and after all that they'll see who you really are which is a strong caring person.
Prove them wrong by not being afraid how showing them your emotions and by taking kind and compassion little gestures.
Just be yourself and eventually they’ll realise how great of a person you are, don’t listen to those guys, they need to get their own lives instead of making other people’s feel worse than theirs.
By being kind to them, helping them whenever needed but if they still don't then uhh too don't waste your time proving it.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 10:08pm
Start being more friendly maybe help someone with something they will soon realise your kindness.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2018 11:42pm
By being a big ray of sunshine spreading positive vibes everywhere you go, not letting anything get you down.
Simply smiling more, and having a softer expression showing the majority of the time can normally help. If you go out of your way to be nicer, people will eventually (maybe not immediately) understand that you’re not a bitter person.
think about your mannerisms in a day that lead to people thinking that, write them down, and work on fixing them one at a time
Anonymous
March 17th, 2018 4:14am
You can't change their minds, but you can change your mindset how you will start feel more satisfied. Once you achieve that, people who accepts you will start coming into your life.
If the school thinks your bitter try and start by just making one friend. If you know someone that is lonely, you can go and become friends with them. Once you have been friends with someone you will gain more and more friends.
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