Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?
156 Answers
Last Updated: 06/11/2022 at 2:28pm
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology
Licensed Professional Counselor
I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 10:52pm
When I hear someone state "everyone thinks"...I always wonder what the common denominator is...and try to put myself in their shoes. Killing them with kindness isn't just a cliche it really does shift your own moods and others around you. Smiles and kindness can be contagious. Perhaps instead of seeing negatives try to task yourself to see the positives or have an opposite reaction to your instant reactions...try to pause and be mindful to your attitude and outlooks :)
There is no way to change their minds, but you can change your mind about how you perceive your current circumstances. The most important opinion you have is about yourself, not about how others view you.
The only way that you can change their minds is with your actions. Sometimes the best way to change others opinions of you is to change your own actions. Try smiling, being kind, loving, compassionate and caring. Each day is a new day, don't give up!
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 4:57am
Simply move on. The best way to proving you're happy, and satisfied with your life is to simply live it to the extent that you would actually be happy.
The best thing to do here is try to be more open and approachable. Ask some friends if you come off as bitter and then ask them why this is - or why you seem like that. If there are issues there which you agree, then perhaps take small step-by steps to alter that.
Perhaps involving yourself in social activities more will help if you don't do so already. It's kind of human nature to make quick fire assumptions against someone and getting involved more can help people to see the real you.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2018 12:31am
To start, how do you act around your schoolmates? Why do they think you are bitter? Being kind and grateful will help you with your schoolmates. Ask them why they think you are bitter. Don’t change yourself, just take feedback from your friends for example!
Anonymous
May 4th, 2018 8:01pm
Managing other people's mind can be challenging. I believe that showing them your positive side will automatically change their perception of you.
You can Show them kindness. This can be done by helping them on an assignment or having a friendly conversation with them to show them your personality for example.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 9:43pm
Let them think what they want to! But if you really wish to change their minds, you can always try to smile more, say hi to them and try to keep sarcasm on minimum
by showing them how happy you are. do what makes you happy and they will see that you are a pleasant person
You should know first why they think you're bitter. Ask them what makes them think you're bitter. Recognize your flaws a.d focus on improving yourself. What they think about you is not that important but be better person for yourself is more important.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 6:09am
Well, you can't force people to thing differently but perhaps a good start would be to first figure out why you feel that everyone thinks you're bitter.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 5:57am
You can never be wrong with smile. Smiling means a lot to people. It can reflect as you being an open person and you're willing to be a friend. Smile!
well you know what, let them be. i read this line somewhere," if you start thinking what others think about you, what will there be left for them to think". I had a bad time as a kid, and was bullied, maybe my situation is opposite of yours but i guess the solution is same, let them be rude, let them call you names, all you have to do is control your mind, to not get affected from these. thats much easier than controlling others into believing you are good ryt.
When I was in school, people thought that I was bitter, and upset at reality, changing their minds is out of the question. The important thing is to realize that you are your own person, and that no one else can put you into a box unless you let them.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 2:08am
Do some random acts of kindness for people or just go up and have a friendly chat with them! Most people will change their minds once you do it enough, and they will see you are a great friend.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2018 3:38am
1) Stop being calculative immediately and start showing your gentler, less angry side...with time, they will forget why/if you were bitter and just remember you were not.
2) if you are misunderstood and a clarification-chat can help...go ahead have it! have a heartfelt and honest one =)
3) Remember if you disagree...you can voice out your disagreement...ANYTIME. but voice it out...dont force it...voice it. and if they dont accept your views know that you are not wrong...but know you can only voice...g'luck!
First I recommend to look inwardly on 1)Why they may think that and 2)Why does that affect you. You may choose to not listen to them and to be yourself, because what others think does truly matter in the long run. Eventually, they won't mean anything to you. However, if you want to smooth the waters persay and create a positive atmosphere around you, maybe you could try doing positive things in your community. It could be community service or helping in a club or simply being there for a friend. When you bring good into the world, you'll get good out. So what if you're bitter? You are an amazing human being with a world of potential. And if they can't see how amazing you are, then find friends who do. You'll always have someone that doesn't like you and that's okay, it's a part of life.
This might be caused by either your body language or your actually behaviour/speech. So here are three suggestions, one for each;
1) Practise in a mirror different facial expressions, do this at home, not at school! This will help you learn to control the muscles in your face.
2) Avoid giving negative comments/feedback unless explicitly asked. There is absolutely no win for randomly saying "Bob's shirt is ugly" however if you were to randomly say things like "Caren's dress is beautiful!" there will be :)
3) It has never hurt anyone to do a random act of kindness for someone. Hold that door, pick up something that was dropped on the floor, pick up that empty can of cola and put it in the bin. This can have immensely positive impact on both you and the rest of your school!
Being bitter generally means that you are sad, down, short tempered and maybe not so easy to get along with. You can change this by being more approachable and happy in your demeanor.
Everyone in school thinks you are bitter, you want to change that. Well you can start by trying to interact more with people, in little ways. Compliment someone, or help someone pick up their books, or even just open the door for them!
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 4:49pm
You could try being more of a happy not-bitter person and then they will see that you aren't bitter.
Well at my school everyone thought that i was bitter then I started speaking kindly and calmly to my peers and they changed their minds
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 4:48pm
Have a smile on your face and be more open and out going . Join clubs and be kind with everyone . Make conversations .
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 4:11pm
You should be yourself, after all in school, most people there you won't see after you finish, if people like you it should be cause of who you are and not cause 0f who they want you to be. Just be yourself, then you don't ever have to take anything and people will for sure stick around and that'll be cause they want to, you shouldn't feel like you have to change when you're with real friends and if your friends make you feel like you need to change then they're not real friends, so to summarize, you don't change their minds, you just be yourself and if they like you or not shouldn't bother you, you attract the people, if they stay or not it's their choice
Anonymous
October 13th, 2018 5:53pm
If you mean that they think you are bitter, I don't think it's about changing their minds. You should focus on being a positive person. For example, some people rely on negativity to fuel their conversations with people. Maybe try to feel confident making positive jokes and saying positive things. Try to say hey to more people in the halls and give people lots of compliments. Try to always make it so that everyone you meet has a positive experience when they talk to you. Remember, you want to make everyone really like talking to you in their free time.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2019 10:41pm
Do not ever bother changing people's minds, it wastes so much of everyone's time. Just try and be more positive. "nothing changed but me" - see book. Change within don't try to change other people because nobody wants to be changed or told to do so. Just try to smile more. You can do anything with a smile, it'll make everything more "sunny" or positive. Just remember never to try and tell others to change and giving advice is not helpful. Be yourself, don't worry to much about what anyone else thinks.
If it’s a matter of changing their perspectives of you, try interacting with them in ways that will reflect positively on you such as being friendly in hallways or classrooms and smiling occasionally as you pass them. Essentially, try to instill a positive impression on them. You have the power to change people’s hearts and minds and if you make a genuine effort to do so, people will notice and subconsciously begin to view you otherwise. However, be aware that there are some people who will have unfair or untrue opinions and views of you that cannot be changed.
Psychotherapy, dialectic behavioural therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy, help a lot as you can reframe your mindset with it and you can become more optimistic and thus less prone to conflicts with your school mates or professors (teachers) and thus they can start liking you more, they can start to see that you are more positive, happy, joyous, that you enjoy being among them and if they Will see it, also they Will enjoy your company more. It is all interconnected. Yes, people like people, who are positive, happy, joyous and enjoy their life. They don't like being around grudgy, sad and angry people.
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