How can I say something back without seeming desperate or offending someone else?
Last Updated: 05/07/2018 at 8:38pm
Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Life poses many challenges. Learning to face, cope with, and resolve these challenges can increase our resilience.
Top Rated Answers
Saying it in a politely way. Respectful and serious. That is very important. If you say it in a good way, you won't seem desperate
Express your opinion! That's important. You won't seem desperate or offending, it's just your point of view. People will respect that.
TONE. it is in the tone of your voice. studies shows that people tend to be angry at someone in the way the talk. just be cool and level headed.
Just keep it simple, with simple words too, when we trying too hard, it shows!always be kind, and mostly, say things clear as possible
Think it through in your head first. If it sounds rude to you and is a judgmental thing don't say it. Phrase what you want to say in the nicest way possible.
I suppose this depends on what you want to say and who you are saying it to. Usually, prefacing a statement with the phrase "with respect" goes a long way towards alleviating any potential offence but the situation and the person dictate what you say. A recent example I can relate to is persistent locking out of my work website. I keep the complaint and the person separate by saying "I'm getting locked out of the system every week. I realise this isn't your problem but as my manager I'm sure you can imagine how frustrating this is for me. I'm enjoying working here a lot and these constant ICT issues are spoiling the experience."
Don't worry about what other people see you as. Your mind is the most important thing to you. the only thing that matters is how you see yourself.
everyone's problems are unique so I won't say I know what you're going through but I can understand
Be honest with yourself. If you said that same thing to someone you cared for (think grandparents) would they be offended. If there's a slightest possibility I would try to rephrase it in a way that you won't think is offensive to anyone.
Say what's on your mind! Just sugar coat it a bit so they know your intentions were not ill. Also, address yourself as not trying to be rude.
Reflect on what you want to say. Think about how the other person might see it. What you need to say, is it important? Will it hurt the person? Just think about what you want to come out of you saying something then speak.
You are not responsible for how others interpret what you say; however, the tone of your voice and the words you choose can play a role. I always try to speak flatly without much inflection. There is an old adage about thinking twice before you say anything. Additionally, determining if a response is even necessary can help with a lot of misinterpretations.
In order to think and to tell the truth, you risk hurting other people's sensitivities. I believe that sugarcoating anything you're trying to say will just be interpreted as trying to cover up a hurtful fact.
Think about if it is something you would want someone to say to you. If you would be someone that would take it ok, there is a good chance that someone else will too
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