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How do I handle it when they bully my friends and I am too afraid to help him/her?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 03/29/2021 at 12:45am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD

Psychologist

Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
Molentra
August 24th, 2015 7:30am
If it's at school, report it to a teacher. If you can't stand up to the bully, try and support your friend in other ways by talking to them and encouraging them to go to an authority figure.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2015 4:07am
Sometimes doing the right thing, isn't always popular. I bet that friend being bullied will be appreciative of any help offered to help stop what is happening to them.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2021 12:45am
I would start by putting myself in my friends shoes. How would I feel if I were being bullied and my friend was too afraid to help? I would 100% help if I had the ability to, because I would want my friends to help me. No one ever wants to feel like an outcast or excluded, so it's important to always helped your friends and loved ones; even if that means going outside of your comfort zone. Friends and family are everything, you want them to know that you will always be there for them and that they can count on you.
Anonymous
October 1st, 2019 12:06pm
When engaging with others, I have to make sure transparency is there between me and my friends. This is key to ensuring that we are all open about each other about personal struggles. If someone tries to bully any of us, we can fall back on the other person for moral and listening support. Hopefully, the right friends will direct you to report the incident with someone (such as a teacher/instructor/supervisor/Human Resources) to ensure that the situation gets remedied. By operating as a group, bullies will be less likely to pick on you and if everyone treats the bully with disdain, this forces the bully to change their behaviour immediately.
sunshineBreeze69
April 17th, 2018 4:45pm
You can tell an adult or you can learn to assert yourself and tell the bully that they need to stop.
Awarmvirtualhug
February 6th, 2017 10:33am
Always contact an adult in these kinds of situations. It is 100% ok to be afraid of what the bullies might do, but taking action is still highly necessary. If you have parents that you trust, then maybe tell them what's going on, and get their point of view on the situation. Then they can help you contact someone with more control over the situation (for example a teacher the bullying is happening at a school) while staying anonymous. I will always recommend contacting an adult, as I have been in a situation where I was bullied, and went to an adult which really worked.
LeeLeexD
August 8th, 2016 11:19pm
If this is occurring at school you must talk to the responsible adult, this may be a teacher or tutor. no one deserves to suffer in silence. If you are a victim do inbox me for help and guidance.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2016 7:56am
The best thing to do is to tell a trusted adult. The worst thing you can do is keep the bullying a secret, so you will need to have some courage to speak up. Even if you just tell your parents, they will most likely try to do something about it.
ChoosingJoy4Me
May 16th, 2016 7:25am
Sometimes the easiest thing is to put yourself in your friends shoes? If the roles were reversed, how would you want your friend to react? Often times we think that "standing up" to the bully needs to be directly to the bully, but there are other ways to be supporting to a friend who is being bullied. First, you can be there for your friend. Let me know they can always come to you for support. Sometimes all it takes is a little emotional support. Next, you can go to a trusted adult, parent or mentor and make sure they are aware of the situation. If you are afraid, you can ask for anonymity. Lastly, and most importantly, treat your friends like you would treat yourself.
RoksanaRose
March 21st, 2016 9:08pm
Tell an adult, it's the best option and they will definitely help with your situation. Don't be scared.
warmeyes116
February 2nd, 2016 4:49am
I'd suggest telling an adult, or somebody you believe may be able to take action on the situation about what you have seen/heard.
ImLittleM
November 16th, 2015 10:33am
Bullying can be a scary situation, and make people feel alone. Comfort your friends and let them know they are not alone, and seek other help for your friends by letting someone else know they are being bullied and that you need help to stop this situation.
competentForest91
January 27th, 2015 8:34pm
if you love your friends will be brave. tell them to stop and be with your friends all the time they need you.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 10:07am
Please, find a courage and speak up.I have a best friend now,we are very close and I already got over my school bad memories. But I can never forget and forgive my bf for nor backing me up at school when my classmates were laughing at me.I know she was just a child then but that memory will never go out of my mind.
gracefulAngel96
September 15th, 2015 8:32am
In my own personal experience, the best way to handle a situation where a friend is being bullied is to first and foremost be there for the friend. Even if you can't stop the bullying on your own, having the support and friendship of an ally will help the situation immensely. Talking to a trusted adult, teacher, or other friend who may be better suited to confronting the bully or fixing the problem another way is also a great way to go about it.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2015 1:47am
Try getting really, really angry. Or go get a teacher? Or if you have a cell phone you could try recording it--that way you would have evidence to show a teacher.
organicDeer83
July 27th, 2015 8:12pm
There are many things you can do if you’re being bulliedYou can try and work it out by yourself. But if the bullying doesn’t stop, you might find it helpful to ask someone else for advice. Don’t be afraid to let someone know that you are being bullied—other people can be a great help. If you are being bullied at school, find a trusted teacher (or past teacher), school psychologist, guidance counselor, or administrator with whom you can speak with .
strongskies
July 14th, 2015 6:18am
When someone is bullying your friend and you know for a fact that you can't do anything about it- you can! Telling someone older, in charge, or just someone who has control is such an important step. By telling you are not being week. You are the strong one who caused the difference and wasn't scared.
Chloelikesgrapes99
May 28th, 2015 5:07am
Talk to someone you trust, they may be able to give you the right advice for the situtaion. if you are at school maybe talk to a teacher or if you have a student counsellor talk to them
Anonymous
May 20th, 2015 2:22pm
if the people who are be bullying ban together anything can be possible with a group of people who share the same interest
Akira2
May 12th, 2015 7:24pm
Talk to your friend privately about it. Then report the bullying to a teacher/counsellor/management whoever with your friends consent or help them make the report. Never try to tackle bullies on your own