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How do I know if I'm a bully?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2020 at 3:46pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 19th, 2017 12:34am
do you pick on people? hit people who are innocent? perhaps make fun of a individual for being socially awkward?
PalePink
November 22nd, 2017 9:06pm
By definition a bully is someone who hurts or frightens someone who is smaller or less powerful, often forcing them to do something that they do not want to do. To avoid bullying or teasing someone I try to think about the things I say carefully, before I say them. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Those are the guidelines I abide by, to not be mean to anyone and not put them in a bad place, I wouldn't want to be in either.
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 6:43am
You judge people harshly on appearance, you make people feel worthless, you have hurt people badly..
Anonymous
November 30th, 2017 10:18pm
Well. Ask yourself, do I have a lot of friends? Do a lot of people like me? Have I been called a bully? Do I make others feel bad? Do people like being around me?
MarvoliartyListens
December 3rd, 2017 8:05pm
Here is the one question to ask yourself: Are my words or behaviors potentially hurting someone or causing them to feel badly about themselves? Sometimes we don't even realize we're bullying someone, we just think we're joking around, but it's a matter of are THEY feeling hurt. There's this thing in religion called THINK and you're supposed to ask yourself before you say anything, "Is what I'm about to say: True, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind". If so, go ahead and say/do it. If not....
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 3:49pm
We all have the bully streak so no worries about that, we're all a lil bit of a bully sometimes. It just usually comes out more on some certain people but it also depends...
KongfuPanda
December 7th, 2017 4:22pm
When people are afraid of you and don't want to be with you, then you might be a bully. When people suppress their true feelings/opinions and try to please you, then you might be a bully.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2017 4:27pm
Bullies strive to feel power and strength over others, They often don't realize what they're doing and how they're effecting others. It can be hard for us to accurately analyze ourselves, so maybe you would benefit from seeing others' point of view. Ask them what their stance is on the question you're asking.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 8:16pm
If you're hurting others through your words or actions, whether physically, emotionally, or verbally, etc., then this is considered bullying.
Willofheart
January 7th, 2018 11:17am
When others begin to distance themselves from you, or you sense fear or resentment in them towards you, when you find yourself taking out your internalized insecurities and frustrations out on someone that seems like a weak and easy target, that's when.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2018 1:02am
To know if your a bully is if you're picking on kids that you think are weak and you think it can better your own situation emotionally, verbally or by internet and you continue to taunt them and tease them anyway even if you know it isn't right thing to do.
goldenLion84
January 19th, 2018 2:44am
Bullying is a very general term, and can mean many things depending on the situation. A typical example of this would be to hurt someone either directly or indirectly. This can be through the use of social media, gossiping, direct contact, etc.
SchrodingersCat00
January 24th, 2018 12:48pm
A bully usually dominates the individual(s) being bullied in one or more ways, so look for signs of that. Ask yourself if you are, for example, usually the one making the decisions, or if you tend to dominate the conversation. What about criticizing others, even in a joking manner? This can be a sign of bullying also. Sometimes we don't realize how often this bothers others.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 6:18am
If you intentionally put others down, you may want to take a step back and check in with yourself. Are you treating others the way you want to be treated? Why do you feel the need to put others down? Is something bothering you that's making you feel like this is the best action? Talking to someone is a great outlet to resolving those emotions.
CroissantMaster
February 7th, 2018 7:54am
If you harass other people outside and inside school, whether it's physical or verbal assault and if you let other people down to make your self happy.
Azymus
February 21st, 2018 8:54am
Well, bullies hurt people intentionally more than once. If you suspect you're a bully, I suggest you ask yourself wether you've been hurting someone on purpose. However, keep in mind that sometimes it's just you feeling upset, and it isn't necessarily meaning you're a bully. Just keep an eye out, and try to keep some of the bad feelings in and don't lash out on people just because of a bad day.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 10:42pm
When you put others down, spread or make rumours, call people names, threaten people with violence, or use online platforms to make someone feel bad about themselves
WinterCallsHereo
February 28th, 2018 4:23am
If others are scared of you, or if you are often called to the office, you will feel disconnected, you will want someone to listen but you don't know where to start.
Anonymous
February 28th, 2018 7:48pm
Are you making fun of others - harrassing them - insulting them - talking about them behind their backs? When thinking about a certain person here - maybe you could talk to them and find out what they think of you?
Salty
March 1st, 2018 7:14pm
Put yourself in the shoes of someone you talk to. Then reverse the roles. Imagine you were in the their shoes, and they talked to you like you talk to them, and how would you react?
SorrowfulSerendipity
March 2nd, 2018 2:10pm
Try and figure out why you are doing the things which you are. Are you behaving in a specific way because you want to make other people feel worse about themselves or because you have a malicious intent? If you think this may be the case don't worry, it's great that you have realised this and now you can move forward and improve yourself as a person as well as improving your relationships with the people around you. If you have been trying to hurt someone then take the initiative to apologise and reassure that person that you will not do this again. Alternatively if you are not actively trying to hurt other people and you think you simply end up doing so without intending to then it will also be beneficial to have a conversation with those people. Tell the people who you think you have hurt that it was not your intention to hurt them and that you are sorry if they ended up feeling hurt or offended by what you said or your behaviour. Don't worry you are taking a very good step in your self discovery and you can take this opportunity to improve yourself as a person, have an honest conversation with whoever you think you have hurt. They will greatly appreciate this as it will take some reflection and courage. Hope everything works out well
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 9:45pm
think about all the stuff that you have done to ask that question, now think about what your intentions were when you did or said that, and think about how it made others feel.
originalLove71
March 3rd, 2018 12:50pm
Your words or actions hurt someone and you know it's hurting someone but still you aren't stopping and actually feeling good about it then you are a bully.
Engineeringhappiness
March 9th, 2018 8:37am
have you hurt anyoe deliberately over and over again? if you have go apologize and dont do that again. then you wont be a bully
summerlov
March 27th, 2018 8:22pm
There are several ways to know if you are being a bully. First off, if you are doing “small” gestures such as rolling your eyes at someone, ignoring someone on purpose, or doing anything to hurt the persons feeling even if it’s small movements is considered bullying. Although if you are constantly doing those small things you are a bully, yet if you are taking things to the next level such as gossip, picking on someone, or even taking it to the physical level than you are being a bully, though there is a difference between bullying and being a bully.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2018 6:52pm
There are lots of ways for you to be considered a bully. If you insult the other person, if you call them names, make fun or them, that's considered psychological bullying. Now, if you punch them, kick them, slap them... that's physical bullying
Pumpkin74
April 6th, 2018 11:42am
The best way to discover if you are a bully is to put yourself in others shoes. Would you be your friend if you were them? Would you feel good if someone talked to you the way you do to others? Are their feelings hurt? Do they seem quiet around you? Many times we forget our jokes and the way we talk put others down but words and actions are powerful even if we don't mean to intentionally bully.
cheerfulOrange88
May 3rd, 2018 3:57pm
By asking the people that you are joking with if they consider this a bullying or no,if its bullying so you have to stop this so people like you
BrandonCares1074
May 5th, 2018 1:44am
If you are repeatedly harming our harassing someone, this means you are bullying that person. Bullying is the repetition of harassment.
Doodido
May 6th, 2018 8:21pm
people will be afraid of you some people may straight up tell you, you may find yourself picking on a kid.