How do I know if I'm a bully?

Bully by definition is : a person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable. Bullying may take many forms, from physical assault, verbal abuse and social exclusion to cyber bullying. Generally, to be considered bullying, the practice must be carried out either by an individual or a group, repeatedly over time, and with an intent to hurt an individual person. Here are six signs I have found that is visible in a bully. Do take a look at yourself. 1. You repeatedly upset someone around you. 2. You have a lack of empathy. This is not always easy to recognize in oneself. You may want to ask people around you whether they think that is the case, or even take an empathy test. 3. You can get aggressive. This may include openly shouting, threatening or humiliating someone in front of others. But it could also be passive aggressive comments, such as "Oh, you are doing it that way, that's brave." 4. You thrive around insecure people. If you make yourself feel better by evoking discomfort or insecurity in a colleague, that would be a classic sign of bullying. This could be done, for example, by persistently picking on someone or deliberately setting them up to fail. 5. You spread malicious rumors about someone. It may not seem like a big deal, but spreading rumors could make someone's life a living hell – costing them professional and social success. 6. You misuse your power or position about performance issues. You may intentionally block someone's promotion or take away duties and responsibilities without any rationale or substance. Other possibilities include deliberately and persistently ignoring or excluding someone from joint collaborations and social events.

I feel like you need to understand the intentions of your actions and reflect on your behavior with others. I would not judge myself in a moralistic way, I would simply observe. If you feel like you are unable to figure out the answer yourself. Maybe ask people you trust around you. They may not give you the answer you want to hear. But, you should try to listen to them with an open mind and not argue. They may or may not be right. Multiple perspectives are also helpful. In the end, be kind to yourself. The fact you are asking this question shows you are trying to be a kind person.

If you are having second thoughts of the the things you are doing. We have differences from every aspect. It could be either in our beliefs, perceptions, physical attributes, race, gender preferences, likes and dislikes but there will never be enough reason to poke on someone’s weak spot. Let us live life happily and embrace diversity. Because of our differences it makes the world balance, we can learn from other people and so do they from us. Before doing something think not just twice but hundred of times, if you are making fun of someone, will it hurt them, or degrade them?

I think the best way to know if you're a bully is to reflect on how you treat others. The easiest way to be a bully without knowing it is to accidentally make a joke that hurts someone else's feelings. I once made a joke where I called my friend "not funny" because I thought it was such an outrageous thing to say and that I said it sarcastically enough for my friend to know I didn't mean it, but apparently my friend, the FUNNIEST person I know, is actually really insecure about whether or not their jokes are funny, and I had accidentally made them feel worse. Long story short, the best way to know is to ask your friends/check in with them about how your actions make them feel. I hope this helps!

If you make fun of someone repeatedly, make them cry, make them feel horrible, then that could very well label you as a bully. There are other ways one could be labeled as a bully, but those are the most parts. Others may include, making others strongly dislike them, encouraging harmful behavior towards them, making fun of their body, their skin imperfections, or even making them feel lesser about themselves than they did before. There are a ton more but I want to keep this short so it doesn't inconvenience you. If you are just a person that tells the truth, don't be ashamed.

Titled "Survival of the Fittest and the Sexiest," the study by researchers at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, Canada, also found that bullies had the lowest levels of depression, the highest levels of self-esteem and the highest social status. There are a few key differences, though: Male bullies come in all shapes and sizes, from the popular football captain to the social outcast, while female bullies tend to be the popular girls (another factor that may help them escape punishment). What is Low Self-Esteem? Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what they can do. They often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate. People who struggle with low self-esteem are consistently afraid about making mistakes or letting other people down.

If you are a bully, it isn’t too late to apologise and change your ways to become a better person, however if you are not sure, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1.) Have I ever repeatedly hurt someone physically? 2.) Do I say or do anything that could be triggering to them repeatedly? 3.) How would I feel if they treated me how I treat them? 4.) If I am engaging in banter, is everyone enjoying it, joining in and feels okay with it? 5.) Do I insult someone repeatedly? 6.) Do people feel safe around me? 7.) Would I say these things to people I care about regularly? 8.) Is it my fault? If you are questioning it though, it shows you can admit your flaws and want to be a good person, which is a good sign and shows you are caring.