How do I know if I'm a bully?
Last Updated: 12/23/2021 at 4:13am
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
Bully by definition is : a person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable. Bullying may take many forms, from physical assault, verbal abuse and social exclusion to cyber bullying. Generally, to be considered bullying, the practice must be carried out either by an individual or a group, repeatedly over time, and with an intent to hurt an individual person. Here are six signs I have found that is visible in a bully. Do take a look at yourself. 1. You repeatedly upset someone around you. 2. You have a lack of empathy. This is not always easy to recognize in oneself. You may want to ask people around you whether they think that is the case, or even take an empathy test. 3. You can get aggressive. This may include openly shouting, threatening or humiliating someone in front of others. But it could also be passive aggressive comments, such as "Oh, you are doing it that way, that's brave." 4. You thrive around insecure people. If you make yourself feel better by evoking discomfort or insecurity in a colleague, that would be a classic sign of bullying. This could be done, for example, by persistently picking on someone or deliberately setting them up to fail. 5. You spread malicious rumors about someone. It may not seem like a big deal, but spreading rumors could make someone's life a living hell – costing them professional and social success. 6. You misuse your power or position about performance issues. You may intentionally block someone's promotion or take away duties and responsibilities without any rationale or substance. Other possibilities include deliberately and persistently ignoring or excluding someone from joint collaborations and social events.
I feel like you need to understand the intentions of your actions and reflect on your behavior with others. I would not judge myself in a moralistic way, I would simply observe. If you feel like you are unable to figure out the answer yourself. Maybe ask people you trust around you. They may not give you the answer you want to hear. But, you should try to listen to them with an open mind and not argue. They may or may not be right. Multiple perspectives are also helpful. In the end, be kind to yourself. The fact you are asking this question shows you are trying to be a kind person.
If you are having second thoughts of the the things you are doing. We have differences from every aspect. It could be either in our beliefs, perceptions, physical attributes, race, gender preferences, likes and dislikes but there will never be enough reason to poke on someone’s weak spot. Let us live life happily and embrace diversity. Because of our differences it makes the world balance, we can learn from other people and so do they from us. Before doing something think not just twice but hundred of times, if you are making fun of someone, will it hurt them, or degrade them?
Related Questions: How do I know if I'm a bully?
Why is everyone around me always being so mean? Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?How do you get over the feeling that people are laughing at you?What's the difference between bullying and teasing?My husband makes fun of my child's weight. What am I supposed to do?