How do I stop my kid from being a bully?
Last Updated: 07/07/2020 at 6:46am
Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor
Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing.
Top Rated Answers
Talk with them. Have an open and honest conversation about bullying. Explain what it is, as a lot of times kids might not realize that they are bullying someone, or what they are doing is wrong. Depending on how old they are, you can also explain to them the affects bullying can leave on other people. If your child is younger, maybe just explaining how hurtful it is can be helpful, but if they are older it can be helpful to go a bit more into detail about the lasting mental effects it can have on a victim. Once you know they understand what bullying is, if they continue maybe set clear rules and consequences if the rules are broken. One big thing can just be treat others not only the way you want to be treated, but the way you would want your child to treat them as well. Sometimes children hear their parents discussing other people in a gossiping or negative way, and that can make them think it is okay to do. From there they might copy their parents, however there is also a chance they might take it a step further and start verbally bullying others to their faces. You can also stay updated in their life, and aware what is happening to them and their behavior as sometimes kids who are bullied start bullying others.
I believe that emotional intelligence is the key. If we teach our children compassion, empathy, understanding emotions, and being considerate to others, they would end up developing a healthy mindset towards understanding others and managing their own emotions as well. They wouldn’t have a need to be mean towards other kids or to express negativity towards them. By teaching them emotional intelligence, we also teach them respect, self care and self love, which is often what kids who end up being bullies lack because they have never really learned to appreciate themselves or other people. That’s why this is important.
Teach him what bullying actually means and who a bully is. Oftentimes, a child will not realise he is being a bully. Learn about your child's social life. Ask him how he feels and try to figure out if he has been bullied before. Victims of bullying often resort to bullying themselves at some point in their lives. Getting to the root of the cause of your child's behavior will help you understand the problem better. Try to identify the cause of his bullying. Some children think bullying is a sign of power or having the upper hand. Some children view it as something cool. Help him mend his way of thinking. His behavior may also arise from something he is struggling with. An insecure child may bully younger children to affirm his status. A child struggling in class may try to bully others to disrupt their understanding. Lastly, help your child make amends with the victim. Some children feel humiliated to apologize. Help him find a tactful and prideful way to restore the relationship.
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