How do you cope with bullying when the ones bullying you are your own family?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 10/03/2018 at 12:04am
1 Tip to Feel Better
South Africa
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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology

Licensed Professional Counselor

I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.

Top Rated Answers
thoughtfulBeach56
June 21st, 2016 6:57pm
People who are regularly criticized by others tend to be very critical of themselves, as well. Have compassion for yourself, and treat yourself with kindness. Most of us are actually doing a better job at everything than we think we are—no matter what anyone else believes or says.
Anonymous
January 24th, 2015 1:07pm
Talking to them.You explain yourself to them as much as you can.Make it clear.And tell them what you feel.Ask them what would they feel if you do the same thing to them.Tell them you need them to support you in life not destroy you.It is the only way I know.
LilyFlowers
May 6th, 2015 3:18am
Good question. My family are my biggest bullies. It's hard, but you have to realize that life goes on beyond our family. Not all families are good or supportive. Sometimes we have to give up our families emotionally. I have to accept the reality that my family acts the way they do, and may never change. and i can't place my self-worth attached to them. So I let it go. It's hard, because we love them and want to be accepted, however understanding health and what is, and making the difficult choices, is what free's us. It doesn't mean we don't live with them, it's we change how we view things and seek support else where.
originalLion57
June 4th, 2015 8:23pm
If possible: stand up to the bully, look them in the eye and say "excuse me"? With this phrase, you’re letting the person know that you’re aware they’re being hurtful and/or condescending, but that you're not putting up with it. They might think about what they just said and think it over or it will give you time to think of what to say (perhaps plan ahead what you'd say in these situations if you know the family will do this to you again and again.) Don't be aggressive or angry if possible, but use eyecontact and a calm voice when you confront them. If it's better for you to leave the situation then do that and see if you can reach out and speak with someone you can confide in. Someone who will let you vent your problems to them and perhaps seek advice or just talk to for a while.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2015 9:41pm
You try talking to them about how you feel. And how bad it makes you feel. Express your emotions and opinions to them.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2016 10:58pm
You should tell a trusted adult like a teacher or social worker. It is not ok to be bullied by anyone.
SmilesToSmile
August 14th, 2018 12:29am
This can be very difficult- sometimes family members don't even realise what they are doing is cruel or bullying. They may think they're simply joking, and that the person knows they don't mean what they say in a nasty way (think of someone joking about extra weight gained during the holidays. This may be a joke they say to everyone, but someone concerned about their weight will be hurt by such a comment, even more so coming from a loved one). It is also difficult because we hope that our families will support and nurture us, not bring us down. If your family is typically approachable, I would suggest calmly talking to them about the way they speak to you. If they're not, and are aware they are being bullies, I would strongly recommend finding support outside your family. A neutral listeners here on seven cups, a friend to listen without judgement. Also have a look at things like mindfulness and self care, that can provide you with techniques to cope and overcome bullying.
FaithfulFriend12
October 3rd, 2018 12:04am
This is my exact situation right now, my sister is bullying me for a reason i do not know. I must say i am emotionally harrassed. It took me weeks to recover for her every single word or action towards me. What i do is, i have learned to simply ignore her. I mean TOTALLY IGNORE her. Thing about bullies is that THEY SEEK AN AUDIENCE, most of them are narcissists that they seek attention. when you gave them attention, they will continously crave for it. And believe me, they will continue to hurt you just to get it. Remember, they can only hurt us if we let them. So stop giving them what they seek and they will seek and they can sense that they cannot hurt you because you love and respect yourself to allow them to step on you, they will eventually stop and be embarrassed with themselves :)