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How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?

172 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:23pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Psychologist

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Top Rated Answers
wonderfulHeart24
September 14th, 2016 5:23am
Ask them why they're doing it ? If there was something you've done wrong ? Talk to them about it politely.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2017 11:08pm
It can definitely be challenging to work up the courage to confront somebody, especially if you feel as if they are acting negatively towards you. Communicating with the person calmly and letting them know how you feel (without attacking them) about the situation. Most people tend to respond well when approached calmly. Try to approach them privately and tell them maturely what you noticed and how you feel.
EmiiAmor
April 3rd, 2015 6:23pm
Approach the person when they are not around friends and by themselves. Explain how you do not appreciate how they have been talking about someone. If this is happening in a professional or school setting, you can also speak with a person of higher regard or a counselor that can take appropriate action for you.
AustenMia
October 4th, 2018 9:37am
Well, here are some thoughts from my personal experience: I have been overthinking over what people are saying behind my back for quite a while. Feeling guilty had become my everyday life. Then one day one, as I was telling one of my friends what these people might say about me, she asked me "Is it true?" It's a really simple question, yet really powerful. I realised that it wasn't true. From then on I stopped acting either guilty or aggressive about it, because it simply wasn't true. My true friends, the people who know exactly who I am never believed the rumours, and those whom I didn't know, and believed at first, once they got to know me realised that what they'd heard was false. You have nothing to worry about. Just make sure you are feeling ok about yourself, and confronting them doesn't have to involve fights etc. Just be fearless, walk among the people who make you the centre of their universe with your chin up, and life will take care of itself.
hopedreamlove
January 12th, 2020 5:55pm
Be kind, but be firm. Don’t respond by using more hate, but do stand up for yourself. Have a chat with them, and let them know what they did is not right, but try not too get too rude with them, or spread rumors about them. “Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can.” Your loved ones, the people who care about you, will know that the rumors are not true. Rumors can definitely hurt, but whatever is being said is not true. If confronting the people who started the rumors doesn’t work, be kind show everyone else what type of person you really are.
AprylFools
April 26th, 2018 12:38pm
This is a hard one. People will start rumours through jealousy and other small tendencies which you may or may not understand. You can ask them directly why they're doing this, but you can also just do your best to rise above it.
Fradiga
July 17th, 2020 6:38pm
First off, negative rumours are not always a bad thing. A person who invents those rumours is probably feeling envious and those who spread it as well. The more outrageous, in fact, the better the compliment to you. It may sound strange, but the fact that anyone takes the trouble to make up a story about you is rather flattering. This said and if there is a real need to address the situation, you can approach any of the rumour-spreading people (as long as you are sure you are on target) and pleasantly ask that person for his/her advice. "I hear this rumour has been spreading about me and I was wondering if you could help me figure out how to snuff it?" That person would rather be your instant ally rather than an enemy. You can turn this issue into a very positive experience.
HelpingHusky96
July 26th, 2017 1:20pm
One word from me kindness. Harmful people look for a hurt reaction. Try acting like it doesnt bother you and smile at them. Ask them face to face of possible 1-1 why they feel they need to spread such rumours. Tell them you forgive them. They wont know how to respond. (Sometimes) I woukdnt play fire with fire though.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2020 12:13am
Unfortunately even if I do a good job, there will always be people who are dissatisfied with me. It comes with the job. I can't control what others think and they have the right to their own opinion. I focus on helping people no matter what, negative rumours or not. Even Anthony Robbins has some negative rumours about him and millions of people still love's what he stand's for. I strongly believe that if you can't deal with the negatives, you'll have a hard time trying to help others. Remembering the good you can do when you really care about helping people, is more empowering than any negative rumours.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2017 3:40am
I would suggest to try and be as calm as possible towards them and ask them why they are doing this
ChaosCurrator
June 7th, 2017 4:44am
In my opinion, through experience, is to honestly ignore the rumors. Ignoring those spreading them will eventually move on. Far as those who ask you directly- best to simply dismiss them as slander and move on. The more energy you put in to them the longer they last and grow.
richyShiny39
May 5th, 2018 7:35am
Tell the person that your life is your own and if you would please know that spreading false accusations can be very hurtful as well as it can cause problems with a future of a person. Also let them know that it will be up to them of how the spreading of rumors will end because slandering a persons name is against the law. If you have to do what you need to. Sometimes a person may say something and it may just be so lacking in the person to spread lies to make up for what's missing. This could be ignored if the rumors are not even paid mind but there are some things that you have to give your opinion.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2016 2:04am
I would confront them by talking to them about what it is they are saying and telling them to stop nicely, then I would tell a few people the truth because I know that that rumour would spread then.
KurtCups711
August 15th, 2018 3:01pm
Acknowledging the rumors only gives credence to them. I'd put your energy into embodying the values/morals you stand by and your actions will speak louder than their words.
LoverOfHappiness
February 8th, 2016 9:28pm
You can never change someone's mind nor actions. However you can go up to the person and ask for a civilized conversations and laying down what you need to address. Allow the person to speak their mind as well. And after that it is up to the person if they are willing to be a person who changes their negative actions or not. Either way, you get a fulfillment that you stood up for yourself in a nonviolent way.
delicateParadise63
May 15th, 2019 6:10am
The reason people spread rumors is due to insecurity, point blank period. As someone who has had 100% unfounded rumors spread about her on several occasions, including a pregnancy rumor, I have not found confrontation to be an effective tactic for dealing with rumors. The reason for that is that someone who is acting deceitfully about spreading rumors will not have qualms about lying to your face when disavowing responsibility or doubling down on the supposed veracity of the rumors. Defamation is hard to deal with, but you are better off focusing on how to lift yourself up and potentially reexamining the company you keep.
lightningdevi101
December 23rd, 2018 3:55pm
First of all, NEVER resort to violence; as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, violence is never the answer. Along with violence, things like revenge and self-harm are also not effective ways to confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you. If you want to confront someone, you can always stand up to them and tell them "I don't like what you're doing, please stop," but in this generation, kids don't back off that easily. You can talk to an adult, such as a teacher or guidance counselor if the rumors are being spread in a school setting. It's also beneficial for everyone if you speak to your teacher about holding an assembly within your school to spread harassment awareness, and how to stop harassment (because spreading any kind of rumor is harassment, regardless if it's negative or positive).
positivePoetry45
December 6th, 2017 4:39pm
Its not about how others view me, its about how I view myself. I know who i am. Just stay positive. I used to be the victim of bullying and negative rumors until i learned that we are all different. When i learned to accept myself, no one's opinion mattered.
Anonymous
May 16th, 2020 3:57am
I haven’t had to confront anyone regarding rumors, but I have had to confront someone spreading truth. This truth was regarding my private life and my safety. I expressed my concerns and explained how allowing this information to be release effected me emotionally and puts my privacy at a high risk. It was also a matter that involved the safety of my children. Once my concerns were communicated and were confirmed this person understood the circumstances and no longer continued to “spread the rumor”. Sometimes a broad upfront approach maybe be the answer. However it might not be for a smaller matter, it could really backfire in other situations. It’s best to take it case by case.
HermosaReina3392
April 22nd, 2020 2:42am
I will admit I don't handle things the best way possible but I have learned from doing it.you have to be strong outgoing and fierce. You also learn to not care what others are saying because it's mostly about how you want to feel and not the other way around. You learn that later in life in the weirdest ways. One day you can be mad at this boy or girl and go off but then you learn to control yourself and you learn how to be a better person. So what let people talk because they hate that the most.
faithlove1111
April 12th, 2020 8:23am
MMmmm. Sometimes I like to take the bull by the horn. I like to ask this people concerned why they seem to think my story is so important that they are spending their precious time spreading it. But I will keep in mind my boundaries on how to speak to them. Confrontations can be done in an amicable way . I need to watch my voice , facial expression , gestures and choice of words. I might even rehearse a little before I actually speak to the people concerned. The bottom line is : Emerge from the confrontation elegantly, gracefully , politely and feel good about yourself. That's empowerment and it would be a fantastic bonus for your growth.
ArielDaisy
January 13th, 2019 9:40pm
I believe that people spread negative rumours because they are feeling intimidated by you or feeling badly about you based on something they have heard. From this, I would simple state that if they wish to believe the rumours then they do not know me as a person. If they wish to get to know me i would be open to telling them the truth, dismissing the rumour that was being spread and leave it up to their judgement. The people that are important are the people that are there for you when times are hard, the truth is always inside of you and that's all that matters. I would try my best to ignore the negativity that was being spread around about me as I know it to be untrue. The people spreading the rumours will feed off my anger or negative reaction, so I would chose to question their source of the rumour and wait for it to pass.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2020 6:08pm
Talk it through what them. I stay opened minded & listen to both perspectives. For example, when my sister & I get into arguments. I always try my best to listen to her view on things. I try my best to always come to an agreement if I can’t come to an agreement because the other person is too stubborn I’ll just give them space & leave the scenario. I’ll try talking to them later when they are calmer & willing to listen. It can be hard to confront but it is the best way to communicate & alone things
scenicwindow
January 31st, 2018 10:55am
First, ascertain for a fact that someone is indeed doing that. Determine what rumors are being spread, and who is doing it to you. Evaluate what you will achieve if you confront the rumor-monger. Be direct and firm when you do without being angry, accusatory or emotional. Listen to the answers they give, ask questions if need be, for clarification. Let them know how you feel about it, if you must. Forgive, if you can. Think of mending fences, if need be.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2020 4:29am
I would confront them, Asking what I did to them to cause them to bully me/ spread rumors of me.
3lia2017
April 29th, 2018 5:35pm
in my opinion, you should go to those who don't think of themselves as judgmental people and ask them about the topic "judge" and what they know about it and what would they do if somebody judged them. one time, i heard one of the my friends(who also judges me) saying that she is scared of judgment and of being embarrassed and that what made me believe that some judge each other without even knowing it. if you want to confront them about the spreading rumors about you that are wrong, you can act like you didn't hear or know that they did and correct these wrong and false rumors in front of that person while you're talking with someone else. that would grab their attention. honestly, i'm very sensitive when it comes to this topic because that is what i'm hardly dealing with these day and i was actually going to start a project in my school about it next week! i will go ask some people (other than my friends in class) about judgment and what would they to ease it and i will go to those who i know judge all the time and ask them the same and compare their answers! wish me luck! XoXo
Anonymous
May 25th, 2018 1:35pm
I ask them to talk privately and ask them what’s wrong and why are they doing this? Lashing out at someone is never the right thing. Just because they are doing something that hurts you doesn’t mean you have to get back at them by doing the same. If they continue, just ignore them and if anyone asks about it, explain that it is just a negative rumor.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 3:43pm
I directly confront them. I ask them why they spread rumors about me, and where they got the rumors from. I will ask them to stop kindly.
Anonymous
November 1st, 2019 11:46pm
The way that I have learned to effectively confront people is to do so in such a way where you still realize that they are a person too. They have feelings, and emotions just like all of us. So, when you feel the need to confront someone, first analyze why you want to do so, and make sure that it will be worth it. Then, I would recommend to never confronting anyone in a super public area, try to get them one-on-one. Then it creates an environment where they can't rely or blame other people. I hope that it works out! :)
SundancerPipeholder
May 19th, 2018 2:13am
In my 60 years I have only come across this once or twice, I stand on my honor and duty, I've had several that have tried to under cut me but my reputation always stood true. If you are true to yourself and your duty you don't need to worry about rumers