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How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?

201 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 3:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
October 1st, 2016 9:42am
From personal experience, it is a good idea to just be silent and try not to react impulsively. Keep your shoulders up and never show signs of anger, disgust or frustration. If it is overwhelming, just leave the place.
February 2nd, 2018 7:47pm
I've been through this situation before. I've been to public places, and even had friends talk about me. Its sad, but you know what. I don't care what they say. Their opinion doesn't matter. In our mexican culture the saying goes, "If you have nothing to hide, then don't worry about it. Besides what they say has nothing to say about you, it says a lot about them. 1. Don't Worry 2. Keep your head up 3. Kill em' with kindness- (then go about your business) Have a great day! :)
April 12th, 2020 7:11pm
It's important to realize that we have no control over what others do and say. What we do have control of however, is how we choose to react to them and the things they do. Some times the best reaction, is no reaction at all. People who do hurtful things are often looking for a response. They want to engage you, because this validates their actions in some way. So you may want to, instead of concentrating on the bad mouthing... consider working on how it makes you feel. You don't need to feel defeated, insecure, or injured by their actions. It actually says a lot more about them, than it does about you. I know that this is easier said than done, but there are some ways to increase your confidence and strengthen your defenses. One way that I know of from personal use is, exercises to enhance your self esteem. There are many sites online that offer free help with this. You could just google "exercises for better self esteem" or just about anything like that. You should also visit and try out the "Growth Path" here on 7 cups. It is designed to help you grow into a better version of yourself. It's very helpful. Another way to reduce any anxiety you are feeling about this, is to do "guided meditations". I often do 5 minute ones that I find on YouTube. again, they are a great tool. The general idea is, if you build yourself up in an organic and meaningful way, then the unkind things that people do will not be as effective in bothering you...and therefore, those people won't be as interested in doing them.
June 30th, 2016 10:33am
Somebody said, "Ignorance is bliss". This holds true for your situation. Ignore them, they will eventually stop. Actions speak louder than words. Prove that you are NOT what they say you are, through your actions. Eventually, your actions will outweigh their bad-mouthing.
May 3rd, 2017 6:06am
Nobody can make you feel any way if you don't want them to. If someone tries to make you feel small, you don't have to let them. They are simply trying to make themselves feel better about themselves, feeding their ever so hungry ego. They are not any more special than you are. You have every right to ignore every thing they say and shut down that thought process before it becomes an insecurity.
March 13th, 2018 8:42am
You can't really "control" how people speak, can you? Their words more often than not speak about their inner state rather about you. I'd choose one of 3 ways in a situation like this: 1) Leave a conversation; 2) Attempt to read how the person is really feeling/what's bothering or triggering a person; 3) Respond with kindness and appreciation as to demonstrate a leadership in setting the atmosphere that everyone may enjoy being in.
June 28th, 2018 7:52pm
It is best to ignore them and continue being you. We all make mistakes, we all improve from time to time! Just be yourself and try not to give it back to them. Remain friendly, even if it isnt the easiest decision.
May 3rd, 2019 7:45pm
Many times it can be best to just ignore it. At least you have realized the type of people you are dealing with and this, in and of itself can actually be a gift in disguise. Isn't it great that now you actually know, don't have to continue the relationship, don't have to invest more time into them, and of course wouldn't be sharing your private, personal moments with them? If this is someone or people that can affect your livelihood (i.e work life, work reputation) or affecting you volunteer work, perhaps this may be the time to bring it to the attention of someone in a position of authority. It's best to not retaliate. Two wrongs do not a make a right. Let someone in a position of authority deal with it and they will then know that perhaps these people are sabotaging others as well. At the end of the day, karma knows everyone's address. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. Hand it over another higher power. He will deal with them better than you ever could. And an additional biblical reference....the traps they set for me, they will fall into themselves.
December 14th, 2019 2:50am
You don't need to deal with these kind of people. Walk away from them. there is no point talking to them back. You can't change them either you do not need to prove anything. Just walk away, forget and forgive. Let them bad mouth, it's showing how jealous they are to you. It's showing the real them. It's showing their personality. Their bad mouthing you, have nothing to do with your charming. They are simply just jealous on you. They can not handle your aura. You are too bright for them to be handle for. Just walk away and smile. Definitely they gonna be jealous more and more.
June 26th, 2020 1:06am
Stand your ground, but in a respectful, calm manner. Before doing anything, take some time to think and to be mindful. Hearing someone badmouth you can be really hurtful, and it would be understandable if you are feeling angry and hurt, however these emotions can lead us to do things we might regret in the future. For example, although at the moment it might seem like an idea to confront the person, or start bad mouthing them, these things can be more harmful than helpful. Starting a bigger conflict, or making it worse might not be the best idea. Instead, after you have calmed down at least a little, maybe privately talk to the person. Let them know how heading what they said made you feel, and ask them to stop. There is unfortunately no to guarantee that they will, and we cannot control other peoples actions, however, there is a higher chance that the person might stop if you are respectful about it, and not rude. Sometimes people who bad mouth each other or bully others are people who have gone through a lot themselves, and they cope by making other feel pain similar to how they did. That in no means makes what they are doing right, but getting angry or mean to them might just backfire and make things so much worse. My point is, speak your mind and stand up for yourself, but I’m a respectful way.
June 25th, 2016 12:48pm
ignore them because once they realize they are ignored they will stop because they are not getting the satisfaction they are seeking
July 7th, 2016 4:25pm
If you have been criticised by someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong about you. Sometimes, what they say about you is a reflection of their own insecurities.
August 3rd, 2016 3:17am
Ah to understand that they may be (very likely) in pain themselves and to try and see why this said to you and to look for ways to show unconditional love and kindness to these people. It can feel really good to show grace.
September 10th, 2016 6:01pm
First off I know that sometimes people just lash out at others, reasons they do are not as important as knowing that sometimes they do. Depending on the conversation/situation compassion and understanding can help avoid me taking this personally. If this kind of treatment continues or continues to escalate then it is time to ask them politely not do this. Again this really depends on the situation. If it is just a way for another to vent what they are feeling then I don't have an issue with allowing them to continue, but if they are just being mean then I would have to ask them to stop. If they don't respect my request then I would point out to them how they were being mean or bad mouthing me and if that still doesn't work then I would have to end the conversation. Depending on what was done/said will determine if I report them or not. Last think I would want to do is report them but will if necessary. Biggest thing for me is to not take this personally!
September 15th, 2016 11:44am
It's easier to say that we should ignore those people as they are not important to us or they have no right to bad mouth us. But ignoring them in reality is difficult, if we do that with real patience it would work, but in my case I have found sarcasm works always. A perfect answer to their taunts makes them feel we aren't weak and thus won't target us. (ofcourse we shouldn't be like them and even Bad mouth about them)
September 25th, 2016 1:38am
If you care about them, confront them about it and let them know that it hurts your feelings. If not, they are not worth your time!
September 29th, 2016 3:15pm
Always focus on those who think in a different way about you, and avoid those persoms who bad mouth you, they are probably reflecting things they don't like about themselves in you, so feeling empathy sometimes helps too.
October 2nd, 2016 4:38am
If you can cut those people out of your life I recommend that. If you can't ignore it, don't feed them..
October 14th, 2016 7:02pm
It's understandable that you will be emotionally affected by what people think of you. It's alright to be concerned, but don't let your fear consume you. Don't worry, regardless of how bad it seems, rumours always die off because old news gets boring. Don't add fuel to the fire and just keep doing what you do. There's no pointing altering your behaviour because it shows that you're affected by what they say. As long as you have a clean conscience, all will be good. Don't retaliate. You're better than they are. :)
October 27th, 2016 10:21am
Just ignore them. More often than not they are jealous, or feel the need to be mean to manage their own feelings or problems.
October 27th, 2016 7:28pm
You can imagine an invisible eraser and make it drag across their physique, as if to erase them totally. As if they don't exist. And then, you'll find them not deserving the slightest of your attention.
February 26th, 2017 6:17am
Remember that people only bad mouth people who do better than them. People only talk negatively of people because it makes them feel in control. However, if several people agree, it is time to reflect. Is there something you've done? An energy you give off? While some people do it for fun, other people do it in fear.
June 11th, 2017 3:06pm
I understand that such a situation is usually particularly distressing​ to anyone. You need to know that at the end of the day that if it is really not true what they are saying about you then don't pay it too much mind.
December 6th, 2017 6:50pm
Tell a trusted adult. Consult a therapist or close friend. Bullying is a serious matter and can do serious harm in the long run, so don't keep it to yourself. Also, don't add fuel to the fire by bullying back. That will only make them push back harder. Instead, kill them with kindness so that they feel guilty about what they've done.
February 7th, 2018 9:42pm
Tell them straight that they need to come to you if they have something to say, or tell someone that could help you stop them together
April 29th, 2018 12:08pm
People who bad mouth others tend to be insecure about themselves. Holding your head up high and not letting what these people say about you, get to you is the best way to handle something like this because it shows that you are strong and the better person for rising above.
May 3rd, 2018 4:01pm
People who say unkind words about others reveal more about themselves. The best thing you can do is trust people to make their owl judgments
May 30th, 2018 6:24pm
Totally ignore them and tell yourself they're jealous and haters. Dont act back and make it worse, be the bigger person!
June 2nd, 2018 11:45pm
It doesn’t feel good to be bad mouthed by other people. Sometimes it downright sucks because what they are bad mouthing about you can feel mean. You do have options, but it’s important to understand that you know your situation best and some options will be more relevant for you than others. Sometimes ignoring the situation is best, sometimes laughing it off with lighthearted self deprecating humor is better, sometimes it feels okay to privately talk to the person who is bad mouthing you. Those are by no means an inclusive list of options. Regardless of what is best for you, remember that it’s always helpful to have someone who can listen to this problem.
June 8th, 2018 8:14pm
People bad mouthing you can be a horrible situation and make your life very difficult. One way is to simply ignore it and not start any drama. Some people will talk bad about you to get a reaction. You can also address the person who is bad mouthing. Be direct but try working towards a solution. If all fails, you can always go to a trusted adult WHICH is perfectly okay and does not make you a "snitch".