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How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?

201 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 3:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
June 16th, 2018 4:36pm
I choose to ignore the negatives in my life. I know that what others say does not define who I am or what I do.
July 13th, 2018 4:09am
Ignore them, their thoughts and opinions don't matter, what's important is being happy and satisfied with yourself regardless of other's agendas.
August 10th, 2018 10:40am
It’s sad to hear that some people are being nasty to others :( Surround yourself with kind people who make you feel comfortable and safe. Focus on the positives in your life. Message a friend and ask them to lunch tomorrow :)
November 6th, 2018 1:29am
You should 1. turn the other cheek and tell a trusted adult 2.If you cant turn the other cheek result to no physical violence if possible if it comes to that and hopefully it wont seek a counselor and tell them how you are feeling and why you took on those actions because where im from we follow G.O.L.D. G- grow in mind, body, and spirit. O- own your actions. L- lead by example. D- dream BIG!!! So dont let those people that bad mouth you bother you ignore them and follow G.O.L.D it will help you improve and move on past the sight of the bad mouthers.
November 14th, 2018 8:58pm
It is so, so difficult to get past other people's negative, hurtful, and insensitive comments about you. Nobody deserves to be harassed or treated with undue disrespect. It's important, though, to stay calm and not lash out at people who are frustrating you. Focus on yourself. Only you know your true self, not them. It's okay to be angry, but they are not worth it. You are above them. You can be better than they are. If the harassment gets to be too much for you to handle, confide in someone that you trust. A parent or friend can help you stay positive about yourself and can take control if things get out of hand. Stay strong.
February 23rd, 2019 6:54pm
Let people talk. If my name is on there tongue im flattered clearly they see fit to spend there precious time spending time on me. Good or bad what people say always says more about themselves than it does the person whom there speaking about. To be more assertive one could approach said people and confront them about what has been said. It depends on the context the people if i would approach. Sometimes I can't be bothered to spend my time worried about what others think, I did that enough in my early 20's. Life is now about living and enjoying!
March 19th, 2019 2:55am
This is the toughest one I find. Sometimes, I don't find a single person in my favor. In those situation, the best thing I do is to ignore the person who is doing so. Sometimes, when people bad mouth what ever goes around comes around. Also, they themselves create bad impression on others by criticizing. They are weak and insecure. Criticism is their weapon. They can't live without it. It is worth staying strong. Somewhere I heard that if you are in criticisms that means your doing something awesome. Remember all the landmark discovery happened in the mist of criticisms.
April 4th, 2019 12:55pm
In life unfortunately and it seems very unfair, but we can not control what others say about us or do. People who bad mouth you are looking for us to react, it makes them feel powerful by hurting other peoples feelings the best way I deal with people. Like this is to cut them out of my life and I'd you do have contact just be polite or simply ignore that person, you know you. It's brave of you to come here on the site and I hope we can help you. Talking helps. We are here to support you.
June 1st, 2019 11:06am
It is said that people and situations have one thing in common- they are both powerless without your reaction. In my opinion, the best way to deal with people bad mouthing you is to not deal with them at all. You deserve to focus your time and energy on something productive, something that will get you somewhere. There will always be people who are going to talk. It's best to ignore them and focus on yourself. This question reminded me of a saying - Don't get revenge, get even. Don't get even, get better. So I suggest that you don't waste your time and energy on them. Focus on you and your goals.
June 2nd, 2019 11:14pm
Just ignore them because people who bad mouth have low self esteem themself. They are covering that by bad mouthing you. It is such a bad trait to have. But if it really hurts you them just tell to stop in their face. No body has rights to talk about other people in a bad way because everyone has their problems and we can't see them in their point of view. It us very important not to start bad mouthing them back because that's the worst thing you can do for yourself. It is never good to have bad opinions about people in your brain
July 5th, 2019 3:14am
I'll usually say, "Good luck with that! I'm cheering you!" When I caught them bad mouthing me. Or I'll just thank them and say, "It's a pleasure that you're so thoughtful." Because they won't bad mouth you for a reason. Think of it as you being unique, and them being too overwhelmed by your radiant presence. Mere words won't define your real self. You are the one who should define your real self. It's not easy to just brush them off, but it's better than blaming yourself or hating them. Bad mouthing is actually not a thing. I think they're just "unnecessarily giving opinions in bad manner without your concern" but that means they just don't have manner and they just want you to notice they don't like you. At times like this, you could also say, "So what?" while sighing. "Sometimes silence is the best language." You can just give them a gentle smile while listening to them. Probably, you can truly see how you'll be able to improve. It's not always bad, really.
August 21st, 2019 4:02pm
Normally this says much more about the person bad mouthing you than it does about you What is missing in her life that forces her to bad mouth someone to bring them down a peg? Speak to that person directly. Away from a crowd so that they get no external attention. Ask them out right why they are bad mouthing you. Explain to them how it is making you feel/how it is effecting you. Then ask if they could refrain from doing so in future. Speaking to the person directly normally has a better success rate than brushing it off and wishing it would go away.
October 13th, 2019 6:04pm
Ignore them and be the bigger person. If someone is bullying they normally have personal problems of their own, and have no outlet. Why let it bother you when you know the truth, or agree with whatever they say and it will make them stop since they will no longer be bothering you. Also politely ask them if they are okay and see if somethings bothering them, causing them to bad mouth . Ask kindly and see if they will stop. Try telling them they are bothering you.
November 1st, 2019 1:21pm
Well, to be honest I have the same problem but I dealt with it. Now your answer... Let them say whatever they are saying. Don't let them see your reaction. I know it hurts when people just keep on saying shit about you. But love yourself. You know how important you are. You know your strength and your weakness. You know what you deserve.I know people keep on saying " don't listen to them or pay attention to them" and I know that's an impossible thing. So, In short, love yourself and smile. Because you deserve it. You deserve happiness. Good luck. 💛
November 1st, 2019 10:03pm
People who bad mouth you, make life a lot harder as what they say can be really taken personal. For example, some people at work or school might start gossiping about you or you feel like they are judging you. Another thing is that when someone bad mouths you you start to think it might just be true. It takes a lot of courage to hear and not feel personal about it. So, ways to deal with bad mouthing there is the option of ignoring but that could make it continue or make it worse. You could confront the person and think about their life what makes them say such thing. Remember the compliments you get and try to give compliments to others.
November 6th, 2019 10:13am
People who are bad mouthing about you need a reaction from you to keep going. If you ignore them, they will stop eventually. If that does not help, try to confront them directly and ask why they're doing so. Sometimes, it's because they're going through something and try to vent out their anger on others. In such cases, try to remain calm and listen to them too. Also, try to find if there's any truth behind what they're saying. If someone bad mouths about you, or mentions something negative about you that might actually be correct in a little way, you have the opportunity to improve yourself. A sorted out matter is always better than a messy one.
November 30th, 2019 1:11am
If someone is bad mouthing me, then there is something plaguing them. So much so that they need to take it out on someone else, and that person in this case is me. To deal with the person bad mouthing me I would first be strong enough to ask why. Why are you bad mouthing me when you don't gain anything from doing so? The only thing that comes out of the situation is pain on my end. Sometimes the person may not understand how much pain and/or suffering they are causing you. If you are honest with them and clear, telling them that what they are doing is hurting you then it may change their actions and attitudes.
November 30th, 2019 5:31am
Personally I try not to listen to much negativity but I find having an open and honest discussion with the person can often bring some closure. Even if the person doesn't stop bad mouthing you at least you now have an incite into why that person may be bad mouthing you. For example they could be insecure in themselves and bad mouth other people to try and make themselves feel better about themselves. another thing is it could be something that you have done without even noticing that made that person see you in a negative way, talking about it allows you to fix these problems or let them know that you did not intend to make them feel that way.
November 30th, 2019 6:07pm
Depends on the effect those people have on you. If it makes you doubt yourself then they’ve won. But the things people do only reflect themselves, not you. In realizing that we all are capable of doing negative things, you forgive them and become better, get out of the cycle. If clarifying the gossips and rumors help you in anyway, or improve the situation, do it. But if not, accept them as it is, you don’t really lose anything, they just showed you who they really are, which is an important information. Hope this help.
January 1st, 2020 6:02am
When someone is bad mouthing you, the first thing to do is think about what could be causing it. Most of the time, when someone is being rude to you, you are not the reason for their anger, only the target. I've found that, hearing people out and offering an open ear is the best way to deal with people bad mouthing you. Sometimes, when people are rude, it is hard but remembering that they are probably not mad at you I'd helpful. If you feel that you are the reason for the bad mouthing or disrespect, don't meet their bad mouthing with further disrespect. It is important to stick up for yourself and to not tolerate abuse, however I always try to hear their side. Many times they have a very legitimate problem that should be addressed.
January 26th, 2020 8:30am
I would personally look at what I consider healthy or not, and for me people bad mouthing me don't deserve to be a part of my life. When I can accept what;s good for me and not, I think it would make it easier for me to make a change and remove the bad things. Now. removing them and how to remove them is a different thing when compared to acceptance of it, which is part of it too. Maybe it can be by distancing myself from them or just cutting them off altogether, unless there was a way to let them in on the fact that they are bad mouthing and how its not welcome, if they were oblivious, it would depend on the circumstances and I hope you find a way that's best for you
June 26th, 2016 4:36am
Confront them slowly and establish that you know what they are doing. Ask for an apology and for them go stop. If they don't. Seek an adult.
June 30th, 2016 6:13am
Politely tell them to relax. If it gets too bad I block them but otherwise I try to find out why they are doing this.
July 1st, 2016 1:15pm
First try to calmly approach the situation humbly and tell the person how it makes you feel and politely explain how you find some truth in what they are saying and ask them for ideas or help understanding how to be better.
July 10th, 2016 5:51am
treat them politely and ask about their problems. greet them in loud voice and warmly shake hands.i have experienced that it works .
July 10th, 2016 8:39am
You can try to talk to them like a mature adult and tell them that you do not like it when they bad mouth you. You can try to ignore it by walking away.
July 13th, 2016 9:31am
To be honest, the most straightforward way would be to ignore them. However, one should not just ignore them if they are spreading things which are way too malicious. One good way to deal with people badmouthing you would be to directly confront them, and trash out any possible misunderstandings there might be on both sides.
July 15th, 2016 6:41pm
It's easier said than done, but ignore them. People's impressions of you are their problem, not yours. As long as you know who you are, and you're confident in that, nothing people say can hurt you.
July 29th, 2016 11:23pm
It depends, if it is not directed at me, I will try to be understanding and try to direct their attention to something more positive or constructive. If it is directed at me, I will try to explain that I am only trying to help and their behaviour will make them lose me and my help. If they keep things directed at me, I will politely show sympathy and end the conversation.
July 30th, 2016 12:23pm
There are many ways to deal with those type of people, the best choice is to ignore them and show them that you're not faded a bit.