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How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?

202 Answers
Last Updated: 12/30/2020 at 2:48am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alison Humphreys, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

During the therapeutic process, individuals will learn to manage transitions, overcome obstacles and work towards their full potential .

Top Rated Answers
Luke10
April 18th, 2018 5:44am
Nothing. People throw rocks at things that shines as per Taylor Swift :D Just ignore them and continue to be happy.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 9:38pm
Ignore them. And if you can't then stay away from them. Or just ask other people around you to help you get away from these sorts of people.
MadisonNicole16
April 26th, 2018 11:12pm
The difference is major. Teasing is just like saying someone looks like maybe they just woke up. Bullying is telling someone they would be better off dead.
BrandonCares1074
May 6th, 2018 6:25pm
Have a talk with an adult or school counselor. They will sort out the problem and understand your problem.
blissfulOcean36
June 22nd, 2018 10:52pm
I would show that negative people in your life are not worth your precious time, surround yourself with love light and positivity
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 11:12pm
As they say, they talk behind your back because that's where they are - behind your back! The important ones will always talk to you, not about you and most importantly they will stay. Nothing else to worry about.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2018 9:39pm
Well there's probably two main approaches and they depend on how confident and angry you are. You can either confront them or ignore it and walk away. Both have advantages and disadvantages and it depends on how much what they've said is affecting you and whether you wish to confront them or not. Neither way is right or wrong, it just depends what works for you. Try to do either one as calmly as possible and you will always seem the better person. They may be trying to get a reaction from you anyway so bare that in mind.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 8:19pm
Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that their words are bothering you. I'm not saying you have to ignore them, but maybe do some incognito stuff and get back at them. Don't do anything illegal. Other than that, become a spy and send a signal to them that they shouldn't be mean.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 8:59pm
Go and spesk to them face to face and tell them that you do not appreciate them being so rude to you.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 9:50pm
Isolate yourself from them. You don't need them or the negativity they're bringing in your life. You are strong and independent.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2018 8:12am
Just ignore them and go straight with your way. Keep doing your works, don't mind them. If they are so rude to you, talk with them directly and offer to stop doing that with you!
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2018 4:54pm
There is always the option of telling someone about it, maybe they could help. You could confront the person because if they have such a problem with you, isn't it smarter to tell YOU about it rather than bad mouth you? if they have such a problem, the only way it's going to be solved is by talking to you personally.
charmingAngel86
August 8th, 2018 4:36pm
listen to others aservativley. then show empathy by showing and giving compassion, showing is more imoportant
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 3:37am
I try and take personal inventory and think about why they would be. I also try and remember that people like to project how they’re feeling about themselves on to others as a way to feel better. And sometimes, you simply just can’t take it personally.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 7:44am
People are not going to like everyone, but, you should confront the people. Explain that it hurts you, and that you would like them to stop. And, you should then cut all ties with them, don’t speak with them anymore. It won’t help you mentally or emotionally to be surrounded by toxic people like that.
lightningdevi101
August 22nd, 2018 7:31pm
If it's a really small thing, like, "they smell bad" or "they're ugly" or "they're so dumb", ignore it. They're either jealous of what you've got or what you are, OR they suffered from some bad situation that they're trying to hide and they're taking it out on you. Speaking of taking it out on you, it's very wrong if someone is persistent in trying to hurt you. If someone continues telling you that you're ugly, or if it's a more severe problem like "go kill yourself", then you can do one of two things: 1) inform an adult or 7 Cups to get support or 2) confront them yourself, show them what you're made of! At the same time, don't hurt them more than they've hurt you. Like, if they did tell you to commit suicide, don't make a comeback like "go kill yourself too".
Mahony1989
August 26th, 2018 10:15am
that can always be tough to deal with, firstly. But we cannot control what others say and do, specially when it pertains to us. Sometimes heading the person directly about it can be a sensitive matter as well. We need to know ourselves and what is and is not true and do our best to ignore it, and when aproached by others, maybe correct the issue. If it continues by a individual, finding a mature professional way to connect with them and let them know the boundaries may need to be done as well. When we hear rumors and lies about ourselves that damage our character it can really spite us inside and be tough to deal with and make us have that drive to rectify the situation. But how we choose to react to it will also affect the direction of the outcome of the situation but hopefully it will dissipate and go away on its own!
Anonymous
August 31st, 2018 9:28am
When people bad mouth me, it’s an indication of their character and not mine. The best way of dealing and winning is through disattention. Which means to able to listen to everything they are sayin all while remaining complete emotionally unattached and insensitive to their words which slide off of me like water drops on a rainy day. If someone says bad words stuff about me people that choose to believe will believe no matter if the gossip is true or false. Not everyone is into fact checking and nor do they care to. In such instances you are able to know who your true friends are because they are the ones that stand up for you and stand by your side no matter what. A strong support network is an amazing place for you to take strength from and refuge in.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2018 6:35pm
The best way to deal with it is to be mindful. For example, you hear someone mouthing off about someone else. Just take a few deep breaths in and think to yourself that the noise that person is making is just noise. You can’t force that person to change and just need to let it slip by. It is hard for a while but after doing it for a while it become really easy to palm off negativity and live in the present. Be confident, be brave and try not to let anybody tell you what to do (unless you’re at work and you have to follow instructions, of course). Have a great life, love your family, remember the good times and leave all the badmouthing people behind. Life is so beautiful!
imcroissant
November 11th, 2018 7:45pm
you don't have to listen to them. why would you spent your whole life by giving attention to them? you should keep good vibes around you and stay away from toxic people. continue your life with positivity and love yourself more. for me bad mouthing people just jealous because you can do better than them or the worst thing is they don't have something to talk about. you're worth it that's why they've talk bad about you. this things happened a lot, and i dont want you to stop doing what you love just because overthink about this kind of stuff. your life is full of happiness, why should be bothered with them?
Anonymous
January 27th, 2019 8:46am
In my own experience it's not worth bothering with people who are bad mouthing you. They may or may not have their reasons but you can't let it drag you down to their level. Throughout my life I've had people who thought less of me but I simply ignored them or cast them from my life. The one thing I've learned from life is people will come and go and the ones who are really special to you will stick around. It may be hard to see past it now but it almost always goes away in time. If you let the negativity take hold it will consume you but you have the strength to push it aside and find the good in your life.
Divs95
February 11th, 2019 12:37pm
I’ve commonly encountered people bad mouthing me, from close family members to friends and colleagues. While initially I faced difficulties in dealing with the issue, I developed several aids over time to overcome this. First is to listen closely without reacting, especially if it comes from a somebody close to me. Second, I pause and breathe slowly. I analyse their statement and see if there’s any truth to it. If I feel there’s a fault on my end, I follow a rational and calm method to handle it. If not, I choose to ignore them. If these people constantly do the same, I ignore them and avoid hanging out with them. Often, distancing yourself from toxic relationships gives you a more peaceful mindset. I found myself more calm, relaxed and happier.
Anonymous
February 19th, 2020 2:04am
First of all you have to understand that it is hardly ever your fault and it is their problem and something that has to do with their feelings and traumas, ways of coping and projections. Secondly you have to ask yourself why do you care? If you care because this person is important in your life, you try and get to the bottom of this 'bad mouthing' by talking to them directly and expressing your thoughts and feelings and you work from there. If this person is not important you have to learn little by little to let go and not care because there might be a lot of people out there who are going to vent at you without it being your fault just at random because they have their own issues so do not let that affect you overall.
StrawberrySmoothie21
February 28th, 2020 4:53pm
I had this kind of problem often in my life. Usually dealing with this type of thing isn't really easy, but I would determine what my goals are and use the SMART process to plan my goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely ways) then usually I keep myself distracted away from these negative critics. I hope this helps some. Also the listeners here on 7cups can listen and validate how things are for you.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2020 5:03pm
Haters are going to hate. If you are not what they say you are, you don't need to overexplain at all. I am only talking about gossips that may not cause huge damages in your life. If people ask, tell the truth and face. Be open and honest. Let the third party to make their own judgment. The worst strategy is to fight fire with fire. People who spread lies would get bitten by truth itself. No need to pull yourself down to play a vicious gossip game or even plan a retaliation. Be authentic and civil. If you have made mistakes, admit that you have make mistakes. If not, you can only work on yourself. How others talk about you is out of your control.
gablikestohelp
March 11th, 2020 11:47pm
What I do when this is happening is I do my best to let it go, I don’t let it effect me because it’s not something that I can control, but I know myself and I know whether or not what they are saying is true, and I know that most of the time, people only bad mouth others to make themselves feel better. If it gets worse, I try to have a calm conversation with them about how it makes me feel and why they might be saying those bad things, if that is an option. In the end, it’s not going to matter in the future, so it’s best to let it go and realize you are way above that.
MulberryMuffin
March 27th, 2020 7:02pm
I would suggest to focus on your mental peace and trying to ignore that. Our time and energy is limited. Let's spend it on those endeavors which will help us grow and ignore the rest. Not all battles has to be won. Some are only for practice. Pick your battles wisely. There is no point in dealing with such people. Give your million dollar smile and move on. Do not react. Do not respond. Let them have their moment and move on. All they want is a reaction from you. Be a better person and do not react at all.
Samueljay
March 28th, 2020 4:10pm
remember that you can control your response when someone does or says something mean. The most effective response to meanness is compassion but Take care of your own pain first. See mean people for what they really are—wounded and tiny and probably threatened. Finally, fight fire with water by sending loving thoughts to the people who hurt you. After all, it is only when mean people actually are happy and free from suffering that they will stop trying to take us down with them. It' awful when people are mean but we control our responses to external bullying. Thanks!
Anonymous
April 15th, 2020 7:45pm
Apologise that they feel this way and tell them that if they dont stop bad mouthing me, you are ending the call as you dont deserve to be spoken to in this manner. Also ask them if you can help in any way, you will try your best as long as they stop bad mouthing you. I'd you cant help them then just apologise and tell them you will try and find someone who can or you will look on google for some added help and assistance. Or another option is to give them some numbers that they can phone. For example, crisis team
Anonymous
April 18th, 2020 11:16pm
Try to understand what could be the root of why they are bad mouthing you. There could be something they are dealing with internally that could be messing with their own self esteem and they may be taking it out on you. A way to deal with it is to take every bad thing they may say about you and write an affirmation to combat it. I find it helpful to write down both the insult and the compliment so you can physically cross out the negativity. Also if this person was a friend, trying to talk to them about where this is coming from. If they are not receptive, its time to move on.