I don't like watching bullying happen around me, but how do I stop it without being bullied myself?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2018 at 7:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Grube, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am a celebrant of hope & healing touching the lives of thousands of people as they entrust me with their trauma & triumphs. Won't you walk with me to succeed & achieve?

Top Rated Answers
Ky23
August 10th, 2015 8:05pm
I think standing up for someone yourself sets you up for being bullied less or not at all. Bullies target those who don't stand up for themselves, people who are nonassertive even in nonthreatening situations. You are doing yourself, and the person you are sticking up for, a favor.
msgoldie326
March 18th, 2015 2:30am
Well it is good that you want to stop the bullying, that is the first step. I think you should get a group to stand up to the bully. I believe that there is always strength in numbers.
annpaints
January 1st, 2018 4:30am
To be honest, bullying might come to you even if you try your hardest to prevent it, but that should not affect the way you feel about it. Bullies eat up unconfidence and insecurities. As long as you don't let your unconfidence show, you can do anything. Stand up to them, tell them it's not okay, and stick with your ideals. Bullies generally leave you alone if they see that you are not affected by what they do.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2015 9:39pm
honestly, people will try to push your buttons and put you down just to see what they can do to affect others in horrible ways. its awful. but sometimes, you have to risk going through that in order to be the better person. its really upsetting and irritating sometimes but remember that it's not your problem, its theirs as to why they choose to hurt people for likely no reason. you just have to like i said be the better, bigger person and put them in their place. show them that they cant break you and you wont tolerate them trying to hurt others.
Mogsyt
April 1st, 2015 12:57pm
talk to a teacher, ask to be anonymous,be there for people when they are being bullied.its hard to be in a situation where your being bullied but its worse going through it alone, talking is the best way.
Blink182andNirvana
April 5th, 2015 4:52pm
You could report it to the teacher or administrator anonymously. You don't have to get directly involved to make a difference. You can also talk to the people being bullied and help them. I was bullied in school and no one ever asked me if I was okay or was nice to me when I needed it. I became depressed but becoming friends with those who are bullied can help them from falling into a bad place.
One20y
April 10th, 2015 11:35am
Tell someone. Let someone who has the upper hand know. Not only will it help the bullying stop, but it will help the person being bullied a lot
JaideS6
April 11th, 2015 2:37am
Don't be afraid to stand up for others. If people see you standing up for a kid getting bullied they will respect you. If you're afraid of getting bullied go to a school administrator and tell them what is happening! Teachers and administrators are there for a reason and it's not just to teach! (:
Anonymous
May 1st, 2015 2:05pm
The first thing you can do is to tell an adult person because they can stop bullying, but you need to tell them that you really don't want others to know that you told what's going on. So if no one knows who told everything, no one can bully you because they don't have any evidence that it was you.
Uniqueg
May 6th, 2015 7:16pm
There's strength in numbers! maybe you guys can help each other out and if you don't feel comfortable intervening talk to someone with more authority and you can do it anonymously so you don't have to be directly involved
ImAce
August 24th, 2015 7:26am
You could give your teacher/principle a private note while they're not in their room and leave it there with no name.
FriendlySeal
November 23rd, 2015 11:33pm
Try to be fair and listen to everyone's opinions. Everyone loves ranting and having a good listener who is there to listen to them. Don't be harsh and take one side, look at everyone's opinions.
cupofchamomile
December 15th, 2015 5:48am
Bullying is a tough subject. Although there are combined efforts of moderators, rules, staff, etc., bullying is a thing that may never be stopped. When you see bullying up close, it is very hard to try and stand up for the person recieving the behavior, but it is always the best thing to do. Standing up can sound like "Hey man, thats not cool", to something like , "You need to stop, that is not ok", but there are always variables. This can depend on how high up the social ladder you are, (in this case, being respected gives you more authority, making everything easier), how old you are (people who are older tend to win most arguements), to even small things like how well you know the person who is the bully. Overall, this is a hord subject, but you can do anything to stop. If this made no sense, just try giving the bully a cold stare, or saying a classic "your mom" joke. That can always lighten the mood and distract them from their main focus. Just remember that you can do anything to help always, it just depends on how hard you try.
Silentradiance96
January 12th, 2016 8:00pm
I know it can be difficult to react when you're scared of being bullied yourself. That fear, unfortunately, is in a lot of people. You can report the bullying to someone of higher authority while explaining that you'd rather remain anonymous. That's one way of doing it. Keep in mind that the victim must feel very lonely being picked on like that and having someone who supports them can mean so much. Fear shouldn't silence you. It's good of you to reach out for advice. Bullying is a serious thing that can leave someone scarred for life.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2016 8:00pm
You can be a up stander and call for a teacher or an adults help at school or even a counselors help.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2016 2:27am
A bully is bad but a bully accomplice is the worst. Good thought, trying to help people. You can stand up to the bully. Or get friends to help.
TodayisYourDay
May 17th, 2016 7:40pm
That's a rough situation. It can be helpful to tell a nearby adult what is happening so that they can end the bullying and you don't have to worry about being bullied as well.
leo224
June 7th, 2016 5:46am
I think the focus should be put on the bullies, hit the problem by the source... NORMALLY the bully is going throw something, to where they pray and attack the "weak"... If there is a group, motivate the ring leader. FIGHT NEGATIVITY, WITH CARE...
Aneesh
July 18th, 2016 7:04am
Be brave and confident. Even if you have an intimidation, you can't do anything. So just defend bravely
HopieRemi
August 15th, 2016 5:59am
That is tricky but possible. You can get someone from the outside to get involved. You can call the emergency lines and let them know that someone is getting bullied.
magicalListener1
September 20th, 2016 6:03pm
Tell a teacher, or get your friends to help you stand up to the Bully/s so you're not on your own, or maybe invite the person who's getting bullied into your friend group or just to be your friend, so that they're not alone all the time.
strawberryPudding82
December 6th, 2016 8:00am
When I come across this situation I will usually approach the person being bullied, address them in a friendly manner, tell them I am meeting my sonS, invite them for coffee and then ask if the other people/person is their friend. Usually it works but if I sense it won't then I call the police or call my sons depending on the situation that would help the person more quickly. If they are young I just intervene to get the one being bullied out of harms way and find out where the bullies live and go speak to the parents.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2017 12:39pm
If the bullying happens in a school or at work, go and talk with a teacher or the boss at that work place. Tell them you want to be anonymous. And tell them in a way that they will take it seriously and do something about it.
AntidoteTowardsTheDark
June 13th, 2017 7:50am
Ask adults (like teachers) to help you. Ask others to help you. (This never worked for me though but you might have better luck. I got bullied regardless of what I did) Bullies tend to target vulnerable kids so, find a whole bunch of friends to be friends with the person that's being bullied. Give them a group to join. (I was alone when I was in school) But honestly you can't change bullies. You can stop one kid from being bullied and that bully will find somebody else, cause that's what they do. That's why they're called bullies. But if the question is about not wanting to watch bullying happen around you, why don't you just move schools or workplaces? Or stay at home, be homeschooled? Maybe you'll be able to find somewhere where bullying doesn't happen, so you don't have to watch it happen.
PedroMAlves1992
January 15th, 2018 7:48pm
Identify your weaknesses and slowly build on gaining self-confidence and self-esteem, that will make you far less vulnerable to being bullied
ruedabega13
April 10th, 2018 7:10pm
Unfortunately you take a risk being bullied yourself when you stand up for someone else being bullied. If you do it you just have to let the insults be "water off a ducks back". It takes a lot of inner strength