I haven't been bullied in a long time, but how do I get over the paranoia of getting bullied again?
Last Updated: 07/06/2020 at 5:54pm
Danielle Gonzales, PsyD
Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!
Top Rated Answers
First of all: sorry to know you were bullied - that deserves HUG because its pretty rough. I've been bullied myself and I understand that paranoia you mentioned way too much better than I would like to but, honestly, I only started to get better after having seeked professional help. There are some things you can do as well if you can't afford it or are not comfortable with it as well: the hardest one is to get yourself to open up fully with people around you, which is a huge challenge (I know how fearful that can be..) you can put yourself that will eventually lead you to people that really like you as a whole. Thing is: its obviously an enormous risk and the sense of exposure is overwhelming but closing yourself and keeping your deepest feelings just for yourself can be a very painful and lonely sensation that can last for a long time :s. Personally, unfortunatly it is a process that takes a lot of time to overcome and I would definitly recommend you therapy so that, despite being a long and very difficult journey, you will have another resource of help available for you that will accelerate your recovery! Hope this was useful and I wish you the BEST of lucks so you can enjoy life more fully and become the happiest person possible because you DESERVE it! :)
Be confident in yourself, so that even if it does happen you can get through it without breaking down
Its perfectly fine to be on guard after you have had a bad experience with something. However, that doesn't mean you should not trust anyone. Try to accept the fact that you were bullied but you MADE it and thats what matters. It is a lot easier to deal with stuff after you have accepted it, good or bad. Everyone isn't bad out there and just for some bad people, you should not be afraid of everyone. Try to talk to more people and improving your confidence. Remember, bullies always target those who are weak minded and are easily tormented. If you show that you do not care for their opinions or aren't bothered by their actions, they won't go after you. Try to stand up to the bad people next time :)
As scary as it may seem, just realize that it's possibly come to an end. Take that big sigh of relief.
It's completely normal to be paranoid, but you can't let that paranoia control your life. You're in control of what happens, if someone bullies you again. Speak up, tell someone, stick up for yourself. Put an end to the bullying. You did it once, you can do it again. You can get through it.
Even though you haven't been bullied in a long time, because it is something that hurt you or upset you, it is something you don't want happening to you again.
Reflect back on your accomplishments. See how you have grown as a person and how you are better in ways than you were before. If you have done anything brave lately, it will be very helpful to think about it too. It will boost your confidence & self-esteem. Give yourself a pep talk. You will be surprised to find out you have done more than any bully can ever aspire to. This feeling, knowing that you are a better human than the wretch trying to torment you, will cover you like an armor. Anything they throw at you will be deflected right away.
Bullies hurt and words leave scars. It's normal to be paranoid in fear of being bullied. However, if you let yourself continue to be paranoid you'll miss out on some of the greatest times of your life.
It's hard to fight ones fears and paranoia of getting bullied, especially with a significant past concerning being bullied; it's understandable to be concerned. Just try and focus on you, dont worry too much, try and do things they make you feel happy and satisfied.
The fear of being bullied again might not ever go away. It will get less over time, but it will always be there. You need to learn how to not let it control you or the things you do. Be yourself and others will follow.
Revisit old incidents. Think carefully about how you should have handled certain situations and really work up these old scars. That will (hopefully) make you more resistant (not immune - nobody is 100% immune against it) and thus make you perceive possible further bullying as less threatening.
I don't get through the paranoia of getting bullied again but I feel like I'm going to get bullied for no reason again
The best thing you can do is go to the root of the problem, the bully. I am not saying you need to go to to him/her but you need to confront this fact with yourself. You need to understand in your own mind why you feel this way before you can start fixing it
Keep in mind that the person and/or situation that caused the bullying experience you had is in the past. You need to focus on not allowing what happened to distract you from finding the happiness you seek today. Once you lose yourself in that focus the fear will naturally fade away. Don't let what happened in the past ruin the bright future life has in store for you. Good Luck!!!
First off, I'm sorry that you have been bullied. I've bullied as well, It's not always the best experience. For your question, you probably need to see a perfessional or a clinical psychologist. If you can't, talk to your parents about it. I want you to be happy, not sad. I also suggest that you don't show them that it bothers you. They want to see you sad so they can continue bullying you. If you don't show that it bothers you, they'll stop. Ask yourself, "Are they really worth my time?", just ask yourself that.
What works for my paranoia in life is deciding to deal with things when they happen. There are many things I could worry about. Maybe I will have an accident, maybe I will lose a loved one. Bad things happen, and you need your full mental and emotional capacities to deal with the problems that actually do occur. Worrying about potential issues only takes away from that. You say you haven't been bullied in a long time, which is good to hear. That also means that you were able to overcome bullying. If it would happen again, you would simply deal with it again. You have the tools, and you can get more if it becomes relevant. Now, there's no need to worry about it.
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