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I was bullied by some girls in high school, and now that I am in college I really just want to forget about it and move on, but I find it on my mind quite often. How do I clear my thoughts?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2021 at 10:27pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Netherlands
Moderated by

Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.

Psychologist

I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.

Top Rated Answers
CherryBlossom360
October 1st, 2019 6:08pm
That is very unfortunate that you had a rough high school experience—I did too. Honestly, the best thing you can do is focus on something else, something that will take your mind off of the past and those girls who made your life miserable. If that doesn't work then try talking about it—opening up to someone might be a way for you to release all the rage, anger, and emotions that come from that memory. Speak out about it. Revisit what happened and really acknowledge how you felt, how you are feeling now, as well as how you may have internalized what happened oh-so-long-ago. Those are just a few things that might help you out. If you need to talk a bit more about this then feel free to connect with me.
panda1506
March 16th, 2021 10:27pm
You are not alone in your experience here. To detach from the vivid experiences of being bullied can be really difficult as you remember them as "horrible people" or you fear this same experience may be repeated in the future. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of modality used to help the individual focus on the present and detach from the past. Sometimes an individual's own insecurity is projected onto another person which does not in anyway excuse bullying or invalidate your experience. Have you ever projected your own insecurity onto somebody else before? Forgiveness is a tricky emotion which is highly difficult to have towards someone who inflicted aggressive behavior towards you whether that be emotional, physical or verbal. Sometimes the toughest of experiences can shape us in ways we do not expect. From our own experiences we can be supportive towards others. If someone is trying to be aggressive towards you in the future you can find the strength within yourself to say "I do not appreciate how I am being treated here." Let your mind be filled with the people you are happy with in your life and the hobbies you love to do. It may help writing down your experience of being bullied on a piece of paper and then crumbling that paper up and throwing it in the bin as an indicator that you have left that experience behind and are ready to occupy your brain with more exciting memories. For further support you can communicate with one of our listeners or therapists who have had personal experience with bullying or who specialize in the topic of bullying. Mindfulness as well as self-help exercises are available on our site. Thinking about wanting to forget it will keep it in your mind remember so focus on some of the wonderful things in your life, whatever that may be to you!