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Is it my fault that others bully me?

59 Answers
Last Updated: 07/19/2021 at 11:52am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
September 24th, 2015 8:34pm
It is never ever ever ever your fault that you're being bullied, angel. You are such a wonderful, brilliant person and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. But it is not you to blame in any way ever and no matter what people may try to convince you otherwise, you are not at fault.
June 3rd, 2015 5:08pm
NO. Bullies have personal reasons to bully but you are not one of them. They usually feel insecure or they have low self esteem and they feel good to treat you this way. You are not to blame. It could be anyone in your one place.
May 22nd, 2018 4:33pm
it is not true that people are bullied because of themselves. Most of the times it has been noticed that people who bully have deep seated insecurities. They might have an inferiority complex which might force them to act as a bully so that they feel powerful. Other times bullies might have a superiority complex and might therefore feel that they are not getting the due attention and that is why they bully. So it is the bully who has a problem in most cases.
July 12th, 2016 5:35am
It's the bully's fault, 100%. When you're the victim, it feels like you're doing something wrong and maybe if you just fix yourself they won't hurt you again, but that's not true. You do NOT have an obligation to change yourself so other people will treat you with respect. You are a wonderful and unique person and if other people don't see that, it's their problem, not yours.
December 5th, 2014 1:07am
Is it your fault if others bully you? Just please know that it is never your fault. Most of the times bullies are already hurt themselves and so they take out their pain on others. It's all a cycle. It's how the world goes round. What would the world be like without bullies? Now that I think about it I don't think it would be good. Bullies strengthen us. They benefit us. "When people hurt you over and over again, think of them like sandpaper. They may hurt and scratch you a bit, but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless." -Andy Biersack
December 5th, 2014 11:56am
No, it is most definitely not! The reason that most children or even adults bully others is because of a lack of something important in their lives. They're feeling down, so they have to bring others down. It's not your fault. You're the victim of this crime because that person is acting out towards something that has not a thing to do with you. Offer friendship and kindness.
December 5th, 2014 8:52pm
No, it is never your fault that people do not treat you with respect. Although some may say you are "asking for it" by dressing or acting in a certain way, you don't deserve blame for other peoples' lack of tolerance and sensitivity. Many bullies are lashing out because of pain in other areas of their lives that really have nothing to do with you, and chances are they'd always find someone to bully and something to get on your case about. You do you, and stay strong :)
May 6th, 2015 3:09am
Speaking from experience as a person who has been bullied and abused all my life, you do have a role in it yes. You have characteristics that make you a target. You maybe reactive, you maybe passive, you maybe a people pleaser. General bullying is different than abusive relationships. So it's hard to gauge. However if you see yourself as a victim in any way, that is a key component to contributing yourself to being bullied. Bullies don't walk around bullying strong, confident people, it just doesn't happen. And when it does, it means nothing to the person. It's all about control. Are we giving people power over us? Are we being reactive and letting people influence our emotions? I stopped being as hurt and influenced by hurtful people, the more i took responsibility for my thoughts and emotions. If you see yourself as a victim, that is what you will be, until that view changes.
November 16th, 2015 9:43am
It is never your fault if others are bullying you. Some people do not act properly, and will make you feel as if it is yourself, but it is not. Never stop being yourself. If you are feeling bullied, please seek help.
February 2nd, 2016 10:33pm
No, it's not. The bullies are trying their best to be popular, and make fun of an innocent person, It's sad how our world is. Stay strong, they're just jealous
April 26th, 2016 11:10am
It is never your fault that someone is bullying you. Sometimes bullies have a bad life at home, so they use bullying as a tool that helps them feel better about themselves. It's not your fault!
June 28th, 2016 7:43pm
No, it's not your fault. Some people are sick and they think that by that they are cool and strong but in fact they don't have self confidence so they reflect this on other people to make them like them.
July 1st, 2016 4:02am
It is in no way whatsoever your fault if you are being bullied by others. Bullying is unfair treatment dealt to a individual to put them down. It generally makes a bully feel better about themselves. You should never feel bad about yourself if you are being bullied. Most of the times, the bully's are struggling with their own problems, and have to take their anger out on somebody else to make themselves fee better. Think of a bully as asking for help when they bully you.
December 5th, 2014 12:24am
No of course not! People that bully other people normally do it because they feel insecure about themselves and want to take it out on other people to make themselves feel better. This is totally wrong and you should definitely not blame yourself for it!
December 5th, 2014 8:33pm
It is never your fault that someone is bullying you. Most bullies are dealing with low self-esteem and have problems within their own household. A lot of bullies are abused themselves (Mentally, emotionally, and physically) by someone inside their household. They often bring their aggression to school and take it out on the kids that may reflect the kind of life that they wished they had. Bullying is built upon anger, envy, and jealousy. So no, it is not your fault. Remember that there are adult bullies too. Continue being fabulous, but wish your bullies well inside your head at night.
December 6th, 2014 3:47am
No,people who bully are incomplete and generally unhappy. They vent out their anger on anyone who they think wouldn't react.
December 7th, 2014 9:51pm
No, if someones bullies you it's not your fault at all. If somebody's messing with you about anything it's just because she's a narrow minded person that cannot accept anyone that is different from them.
December 28th, 2014 8:24pm
It is absolutely not your fault. No one asks to be bullied. It is your bully's own insecurities and problems that are causing you to receive this, not you.
January 3rd, 2015 5:43pm
It is never your fault that others bully you. The problem often lies with the bully rather than the victim
April 16th, 2015 2:37am
It's never the victims fault when people bully them. Victims tend to feel it is there fault because of there emotions and question themselves "why me? There must be a reason!" There most likely is a reason and it's probably they are jealous that the victim is going much farther in life than they are.
April 22nd, 2015 9:50am
NO it's not. Regardless of any "reasons", bullying is one of the most cruel things on this earth. Often it has more to do with the person who feels the need to bully others than with the victim - however wrong it is, they might want to win confidence or a feeling of power by putting another person, who is a wonderful human being, down.
April 29th, 2015 11:36am
well its neither your fault nor theirs because a bully is a person who himself feels insecure and so to get over that feeling of insecurity they bully you.they bully only those who seem weak to them and who seem that they have less confidence.
May 20th, 2015 5:24am
Of course it is not your fault and there are many people in bulling situations! Many times bulling is a form of self loathing and these people were once bullied themselves. Regardless of why bullies like to bully, try focusing on the positive people and events in your life. Also, if you are really down about yourself, try to write down some things you do like about yourself which includes positive things about your appearance as well as personality. And of course, if the bullying is physical or out of control, reach out for help!
May 22nd, 2015 8:18pm
It is never your fault. NEVER. Bullying is cause by anxiety/stress by them. They are having problems about themselves. Thats why they target those who are weaker than them, just to make them feel good about themselves.
May 26th, 2015 5:45pm
This looks like an automatic thought: Labelling - faulty - Assigning labels to ourselves - Challenge yourself as from now :)
June 29th, 2015 2:00pm
Let me start by saying that you are beautiful and wonderful. It is not your fault. I have learned that bullies are only looking to hide their pain as well. We have other ways; video games, sex, porn, talking, etc. but they choose violence. Either physically or mentally. They get off on it. It is not your fault dear. I promise.
July 6th, 2015 7:37am
Of course not. Often bullies do bully people because of their home lif, they might be experience worse then you
August 27th, 2015 7:42am
NO NO NO NO! Bullies have their own issues, and it's because of those that they bully. You need to remember that you're not at fault in this situation, you didn't do anything wrong!
September 7th, 2015 1:04am
No. The bully's pick people they choose. If your being bullied, tell someone because no one deserves to be bullied.
September 14th, 2015 4:26am
Of course not! It never will be your fault! It's the bullies fault. They are taking out their insecurities and problems.