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Is it my fault that others bully me?

59 Answers
Last Updated: 07/19/2021 at 11:52am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
September 21st, 2015 4:35am
of course not! no matter who you are or how you behave, no one deserves to be targeted for who they are.
November 9th, 2015 12:19am
It's not the victims fault when bullies decide to bully the victim. Bullies often have something negative going on with their lives, but don't know how to deal with it, thus they project their anger onto a usually weaker victim.
November 23rd, 2015 1:09am
they bully you because they see a desirable feature that you have which they want themselves this means they will do anything to try and take it from you
December 15th, 2015 9:59pm
Is not, never it never your fault, people needs to hate other people to feel better with themselves and well ever if you do something embarrasing thats not an excuse, they bully you because your hobbies, your apareance or just for anything, its ridiculous and if you know someone is getting bullied, be brave and help him or help her, you can save their life, dont be indifferent they need you.
January 5th, 2016 11:08am
This is your fault. They are also hurting from the inside and this is how they are showing their pain. I am always here for you if you ever need to talk about this cause it can it challenging and really hard at times.
January 25th, 2016 5:53pm
February 2nd, 2016 2:00pm
no it's not. they are mean and insecure that's why they go around bullying people to feel better about themselves. you are great
February 2nd, 2016 2:54pm
No. Absolutely not in any case. You might be a little different, had a slip up, or just purely too awesome, but violence of a majority towards a minority can never, under any circumstances, be justified.
February 16th, 2016 3:09pm
I have always found that jealousy is the precursor to bullying. At school I was bullied for being well behaved and doing my homework, My mum always told me that they were jealous of me and that they didn't know how to deal with what they were going through so they could only think to be horrible to me. I think that's the same for many cases of bullying.
March 7th, 2016 5:20am
Of course not, if you don't actually bother other people. You are in the green field. They just want someONE to be a victim. Tis their fault to bully anyone at all. To even be mean to anyone for that matter. Stay strong and soon things will be all better. Always look for the positives in life as well. There always at least one :)
March 15th, 2016 5:53pm
not at all some times its a way they make there selves feel better by hurting someone else...try to concentrate on other things for you...
March 22nd, 2016 2:12pm
No it is NEVER your fault for being bullied. The fault is all theirs. They bully people because they are trying to justify themselves or take their hurt out on someone else. The best thing to do is to show them kindness. But it is NEVER EVER your fault.
June 15th, 2016 2:21pm
First of all I want to emphasize that any reason behind the action of bullying can't be accepted. Even you have done something unpleasant (for them). They don't know how to deal with their emotions properly and express it in inappropriate way. No one deserves to be bullied, same goes to you. As long you don't do anything that harm other people, it can never be your fault. If you do, introspection is needed but you still don't deserve to be treated that way.
July 12th, 2016 5:47pm
Of course no! People are like that. But we don't know what's happenin inside them so you can just think about they got problems and nevermind? or talk with them about it?
July 15th, 2016 1:54pm
Nope, it is not your fault. It lies on the bully, he chooses to bully you. It's sad you have to be bullied! I personally have been bullied before and I don't think it's ever my fault. Bullies bully for their personal pleasure, not because it's your fault or anything like that. Show them that you can stand up for yourself, tell someone trustable and see what they can do about it. Most importantly, don't ever blame it on yourself and don't use violence!
September 16th, 2016 2:47pm
That's question can also have two answers, the first is because you're too antisocial to each other so they think you don't want to go with others. Second is because of the outside factor, probably the person that bullies to you is just want to make fun of you or do something to attract your attention. My advice is don't be introvert or antisocial, go find some friends that are good and right for you.
October 24th, 2016 2:29pm
Never, it is never your fault. That negative thinking is not okay. Don't put yourself down for them.
November 1st, 2016 5:28pm
No, it is not your fault. Bullies usually lack empathy and they may think about themselves as 'powerful" if they make others feel bad. Some bullies have their own insecurities and problems.
May 23rd, 2017 1:21am
No, it is not at all your fault. Other people who are insecure sometimes feel the need to put other people down to make themselves feel better. If you are being bullied, I suggest you see your school guidance counselor or talk to someone you trust.
July 11th, 2017 4:48pm
No, it isn't your fault. Sometimes people are mean because of things they are going through. Bullying is never your fault
August 21st, 2017 12:56am
Definitely not! Bullying is never your fault. Chances are, your aggressor has troubles of their own that they are having a hard time coping with and they don't have a healthy outlet. They will take it out on people who they perceive will have a tough time defending themselves. It isn't your fault and you have to understand that.
February 6th, 2018 9:51am
No no and a million times no!!! as an's definitely not your fault, in return why don't you see the other way round.. In short the people who bully you are at fault!!(they surely don't have any productive thing to do), ..they think that bullying others is amusement to them?they think they are the best?hah! then thats total nonsense, who are they are definitely cooler than them in every angle(right angle, 360degree angle whatever you say) thing you must remember, if they are really such bullies than they are just 'useless'=waste!!(until they have a kind spot deep inside like the way they show in dramas) So in conclusion fight up!!! :3
February 12th, 2018 10:25pm
Definitely not!! Often, bullies don’t realise the impact they’re creating and so it’s important to tell someone you trust. Bullies often bully someone because they’ve been bullied themselves and so may feel like they need to inflict what it feels like on someone else. But it definitely isn’t your fault
April 10th, 2018 4:43pm
It is not your fault that others are bullying you because you aren't the one who aggravated them to hurt you more as they chose to bully you in the first place.
June 5th, 2018 7:45pm
No, it is not. You are not at fault. Bullying can happen with everyone. Most likely, there are various factors and personal reasons of the bully due to which he indulges in bullying. Please read the Bullying Self Help Guide on 7 Cups of Tea for more information.
August 6th, 2018 2:42pm
No. Absolutely not. They decide to pick on you, it's their fault. Maybe they're hurt inside and try to hide it by bullying, but that doesn't make it any less their fault.
November 11th, 2019 6:20pm
It is very easy to feel embarrassed, ashamed and blame yourself when you are being bullied. Most victims of bullying feel this way. But in short, no. It is not your fault that you are being bullied, it is nobody's fault - except for the bully. You cannot blame yourself for being bullied, but equally you should not blame the bully. Forgiveness is the key to healing and self-growth. Bullying is not your fault, no matter the reason that you are being bullied, the amount of people that are bullying you, the length of time that you are bullied for, or the type of bullying that you are a victim of. Bullying is not your fault, so please do not blame yourself.
November 17th, 2020 7:54pm
No it is not your fault, people usually bully because they have something going on at home or maybe they are being bullied themselves. Sometimes it does not matter what you do or who are, what does matter though is who you talk to about it and to get help. It is very important to talk to a trusted adult about how you feel and what is going on so that they can help you out. The adult can help you figure out how to confront the person/ and or deal with the situation if it happens again.
July 19th, 2021 11:52am
It’s never your fault if someone is bullying you. It’s your choice to allow them to continue! We have no control over how others behave, but we do have control over how we allow it to affect our lives. Never do we have to tolerate hate or cruelty and it’s you who has to demand better. Set your boundaries not only with the bully and others, but within yourself. Decide what you want and when enough is enough. When you set your boundaries people will see your confidence and strength, and will less likely see you as an easy target to attack. Bullies often attack others, not because there is anything wrong with you, but because they feel something negative within themselves. Show kindness, empathy and support towards everyone you meet and if they still feel the need to cross your boundaries you walk away. You are strong and capable, and when you start to outwardly portray this, positive people will start to surround you