Is it true that people who bully are insecure?
Last Updated: 01/05/2021 at 12:55pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
People who are bullies' are often being bullies themselves or have been bullied in the past. Its not that they are insecure but they have anger that they don't know how to deal with.
i believe bullys have a lot of inner frustration and the satisfaction they recieve from acknowledging the power they have over an individual is rewarding to them.
I think that's a possibility. Being mean can stem from insecurity, but there's a lot of other reasons why people bully and sometimes there isn't a reason. People can just be plain mean. It's important to ignore people like that though, you can't let them bring you down to the level they are at.
People bully for a few simple reasons: superiority complex and inferiority complex. A superiority complex is "an attitude of superiority that conceals actual feelings of inferiority and failure." So basically in this case, the bully pretends to be above others to undermine their own feelings of inadequacy. They think that if they pretend so long it will be true. The feeling is driven in somewhere in adolescence by either emotional negligence from parents not being around, their own bullies or their short comings (failure). As for an inferiority complex it is "an unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behavior in compensation." This is generally the same as a Superiority Complex but slightly different. In the case of an inferiority complex they get over it by making themselves feel better by gaining friends (who are actually just scared of the bully). But for the inferiority complex, they are often more alone- they don't try to compensate for the feeling, they try to hide it- or brush it under the rug by intimidation. Either way bullies have their own issues that they have a hard time getting over. They don't understand how to channel feelings, so they use them for bad- but they don't see bad in the same way a victim does. Because our feelings are all on different spectrums- meaning that a bully doesn't think what they are doing is bad. We make our own realities, with our own spectrums of sexuality and emotion. We are all so different and complex, but often in a bully's reality- they only see themselevs and their shortcomings/hardships. You can't expect to change them, but you can change your reaction to the situation- since you can only change if you want to. Bullies don't want to change.
Bullying is about exerting power; chances are that "the bully" has been traumatized through someone making them feel "powerless." The psychological need to matter drives them to reassure themselves that they matter through exerting physical or verbal force over someone else. This is a sad, sad cycle :(
I believe that people that bully are insecure, or suffering in another way. I don't think anyone wants to be the kind of person a bully is, although sadly, many people seem to find this as their only outlet for negativity in their own lives.
Yes! Most of them are. But you won't normally see them as insecure people, because the majority of people have a really rigid and conventional definition of insecurity. Bullies often build a tough personality as a survival instinct, but that doesn't mean that they are emotionally resilient. Their biggest weakness is their facade of strength. There is no way to deal with bullies without hurting both parties involved. The best way is for them to realize how to express themselves without using the means of violence, harassment, abuse or threats. I know all of my bullies very well, and, to me, they are people who seek love and attention by hurting others. It sounds conflicting, but thinking about it that way makes me feel relieved when I get them out of my life.
In most circumstances, it is true that people who abuse others physically, mentally and emotionally have deep seeded insecurities. However, there are many other reasons why people bully. Sometimes, it's a learned behavior. Young children are very susceptible to outside influences, and if they see someone being picked on by an adult or other children, the likelihood is strong that they will mimic those actions. If no authority teaches them hat bullying is wrong, then they will continue to do it and adopt notions that they have the right to do it. Most people who bully or harass have most likely done so since they were young. Bullying is usually the result of a person displacing their fear/aggravation of one thing and manifesting it onto a living thing. This situation, for them, is easier to control and gets more results than the bigger situation that is causing such fear and anxiety in them. Bullying is a sad situation for everyone involved. However, I'm sure that there are a few cases of harassment that have been caused by other, more severe, mental issues. But in general, both the bully and the person being bullied are usually victims alike.
It can be the case, but it's not always as straight forward as that. People who bully might be bullying to make themselves feel better, because they need to feel better than someone else. But sometimes it is because that is what they are used to. Often, a bully might get bullied at home, by a sibling or their parents, or someone else. They learn this behaviour and then bring it to school. There's all sorts of reasons why people might bully others. The best you can do is to keep in mind that it could be something that they can't control and it's their coping mechanism for now. It doesn't make it fair that they're taking it out on you, but it might help you stay calm and deal with the whole situation a little better :)
That is true. However there are OTHER possibilties why they are bullies. they could be for the reasons of being "cool and popular" "well known" "scared of" "sad" "purely for fun" of course....simply thats their personality and they are just plain mean.
Yes, most definitely! Individuals who bully tend to have their own problems in life and they tend to take it out on other unfortunately.
I have often found that bullies are very insecure. They are often hurt themselves and so they hurt others too. Don't forget they are human too.
Maybe I don't think so some of them just do it for fun to see others hurt.some of them are afraid to get hurt so they bully others then their are some of them who have problems home and take it out on others
Yes and no. Some people do it because it makes them feel above you, but some (terrible) people out there get a rush out of it. Think thrillseeker, but by abusing other people. It's horrible that there are people out there like this, but everybody is different.
Not at all anyone at any age can get bullied. People that get bullied are not the ones with insecurities it's the bully's that have!
There are signs that they probably are. But it really depends. Some just do it to have a little´fun´ or just to fit in.
All bullies are insecure, yes. that is why they bully. confident well adjusted people dont 'have' to bully, only losers bully
in my opinion, yes it is true. Bullies are those people who are secretly insecure of themselves. and because they're so distressed of these insecurities, they channel on to other people their anger or their stress.
Typically, yeah. If you can spot a flaw in someone else, it doesn't matter what it is. There's a 99.9% chance that you have the same/similar flaw.
yes! they have major inferiority complex. they bully to assure themselves as strong people, thus, the are insecure.
It is not the only case, however, it can be a contributing factor. There are lots of different issues that can affect whether an individual is bullying others, such as but not limited to, parent's divorce, lack of friends or other kind of events.
I think that the reason why other people bully varies however most of the time, the one who is bullying is the one who is not sure about themselves or is dealing with some struggles of their own and are using other people's pain to make themselves feel in control.
I think it is a 60%-70% possibility that bullies feel insecure. In most cases, bullies were bullied by others before, and that has cause them to take up the name of 'Bullies'. When they bully someone, as they normally hold control of victims, they tend to feel more security since most of the people are scared of them and they would feel cool and popular among the School or place. Some bullies don't mean what they do. Some best friends are just inseparable, people hate being excluded, especially when you have a long-term friendship group. They might want to change their personality and conform themselves to make themselves feel like the other friends. I hope victims out there will understand. When bullies insult you, don't take their words for real. They have low self-esteem, and because they do not have standards up to you, they're jealous, leading them to bullying you. Just stand your ground, but don't fight or argue with them, it could lead to something serious. Bare with it for the time being, until you have reached the limits, keep yourself away from them, avoid their teasing if they come to you. You just have to tell a trusted adult, someone that you know in real life as they know you better and can understand your problem in real life.
Most of the time, but in other cases they may just have anger problems or other strong emotions that they are not sure how to let out. So they can resort to violence and taking their feelings out on other people.
Yes, almost everyone who bully others are insecure about their life or has a burden within them that makes them pushed down, which is why they bully others, to lift themselves up.
No person is born mean. We are taught to be that way or something happens that makes us act out in a bad way. Bullies could be insecure or jealous or simply confused.
I've felt that it could be either. Some bully to ensure themselves that they are important and needed. But the other spectrum bully for just for feeling of satisfaction or for sadistic pleasure.
Yes, it's true, people who bully usually were bullied themselves or do not have the confidence to stand up for themselves. They also need help, it doesn't look like it but it's true, if you know someone that was bullied or that bully others try to see if can talk, maybe they just need a good friend to talked to. I've a friend that was bully and then I talked to her and it was like enough for her to became better with the situation and trying to resolve it. Everyone just need someone to talked too. Be happy, live and help !
I believe those who bully, have a reasoning behind it. Whether that be an issue happening at home, previous bullying (happening to them), jealousy, fear and many other things. It is hard to understand exactly why a person bullies, considering they do not speak out. However, it has nothing to do with the victim. People who bully, feel the need to put other people down to feel better about themselves, in my own opinion. You should never blame yourself for being bullied or pushed around, you are okay. You are enough. You are loved. Your worth is not defined by other people's actions.
This is a common belief; bullies are jealous, or bullies are insecure, or bullies are just repeating what happened to them - these can all be true, but at the same time, it doesn't necessarily have to apply. Bullies are sad people, generally - they seem to get off on hurting other people, physically or mentally. Bullies CAN be jealous, bullies CAN be insecure, bullies CAN be sad - we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Generally speaking, yes, bullies are insecure, because they sometimes bully a person who has a better quality of life than them. There are many reasons why bullies are who they are - being afraid of them or giving them a reaction is what they want: don't give them what they want!
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