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My bully says there is no reason that they like to bully me, shouldn't there always be a reason?

29 Answers
Last Updated: 07/10/2018 at 12:50am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jamie Rautenberg, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I'm passionate about helping clients understand emotional experiences & mental chatter do not define who they are. I'm here to guide them through the fog back to themselves.

Top Rated Answers
ZRUTokimeki
June 12th, 2015 12:03pm
Bullies usually bully others because they are unsatisfied with their own life, so there does not have to be a reason. Sometimes they are just angry and they take it out on others for no reason at all. (:
Anonymous
February 25th, 2015 10:33pm
There is always a reason. But the reason has nothing to do with the victim. The reason is the downfall trait and the poor choices of the bully.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2015 5:15am
There isn't always a reason and doesn't simply have to be a reason all the time. Some people are uncomfortable with themselves and they find you vulnerable and pick on you to make themselves feel better.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2015 3:08am
Bullies may pretend there isn't a reason, but there surely is. They may be lying to themselves about it. Just know that no matter what they say, you do not deserve it.
warmWatermelon60
April 10th, 2015 7:32am
sometimes they bullies bully people just to spend their time or make you feel bad because they feel bad for themselves.... but of course they're not gonna say that!
WarmSummer86
April 10th, 2015 5:53pm
I think sometimes people don't know the reason. And maybe the reason has nothing to do with you and unfortunately they've singled you out. The reason could be something within themselves that has them upset and is not related to you at all. The person may just feel like they need to lash out at others in order to feel better about themselves.
Alwaysdreamin
April 10th, 2015 7:27pm
Bullies sometimes bully because they have been bullied before or they are hurting for some reason. You should always report a bully but if you are brave, you could ask them about their own situation. I have a couple of bullies that became friends with the bulliers. This is hard to do and often not safe, however, if you are safe, it could not hurt to ask them if they were ever bullied, could it?
Anonymous
April 11th, 2015 10:45am
The fact that they say there isn't a reason doesn't mean there isn't a reason. ********************
Amanda9715
April 30th, 2015 12:52am
Sometimes there isn't a reason why people do cruel things, sometimes they don't realize that there is a reason. Your bully may feel insecure, or have problems at home, and they just end up projecting that on you.
Anonymous
May 16th, 2015 1:01am
Sometimes there just isn't a reason. They just want the satisfaction of being able to control someone's feelings by hurting them.
Pixiedust224
June 10th, 2015 8:10am
No. There should never be a reason for bullying because no one should bully/get bullied. But if he/she bullys you there must be a hidden reason. Envy is usualy the reason
FriendlyFangirl
June 17th, 2015 11:47pm
If a bully is targeting you specifically, there's definitely a reason behind it. It may be as simple as them seeing things to pick on you about. It might be complicated too, and the bully might not even understand why they're doing it. Feelings are difficult and complicated, and motives can be hard to find.
Tiger2279
June 29th, 2015 9:28am
The reason is that the bully themselves either was bullied by someone family or another bully, or that there is anger built up inside them that they choose to take it out on other more vulnerable person.
VictoriousVoice
June 30th, 2015 1:41pm
No, no reason is needed. Bullies are normally people with bad circumstance's and they don't know how to express their feelings so they try to act all tough by picking on others. Some people just get a kick out of hurting people.
CharlotteBanana97
July 21st, 2015 9:32am
There doesn't have to be a reason for people to bully you. Sometimes, people are just wired in the way that bullying others makes them feel good, kind of like the same way that certain things in your life can make you feel good but you can't explain why to a pin-pointed reason.
Short
September 21st, 2015 3:22am
To answer your question, yes, there is always a reason. However, this reason may not be apparent to the bully. Everything we do has to do with previous experiences and conditioning, although we aren't always aware of it. It may be that your bully had witnessed his guardians abuse one another, or maybe they are having a hard time. It might even just be that they have unresolved issues with you that they aren't even aware of. So, yes, there always is a reason. However, the reason isn't always obvious or known.
PRUNE4BEE
January 18th, 2016 6:49am
Not really. Most forms of bullying are a result of how people perceive themselves. It has little to do with the person bullied even though they get affected the most
Anonymous
May 24th, 2016 8:56am
Of course, there is always a reason. That person could also be going through a negative situation so its important to let them know that they can talk to someone about this and it doesn't need to be that way.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 8:14am
Yes-there should always be a reason to every action. The reason your bully may not find a reason is that your bullies perception of themselves may be that they are not a bully or they don't feel comfortable about why they are a bully.
AzureSea12
August 1st, 2016 8:54am
In my opinion, he/she doesn't want to admit that they feel superior themselves. Sometimes people go through rough times and they feel good when they hurt people.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2016 2:03am
Most bullies do not have a reason they just bully anyone and everyone because they are not secure in their own selves.
bouncyKiwi10
September 26th, 2016 9:39am
Most bullies are just jealous, or maybe they just have some anger issues so they take it out on the next person they see. Some one who they think is having it easy ...
neatBike3539
September 27th, 2016 10:05pm
There is a reason. Something is wrong in their own life that they don't think will ever change. They search for ways to let off some of the pressure.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2016 6:38pm
I think there's always a reason why the bully is bullying people, but not always a reason why they're bullying a specific person.
Connover
April 18th, 2017 8:30pm
People do not need a reason to be mean to each other. Do not think there has to be something immediately visible to everyone. In fact, if there even is one, the reason may be them rather than you. they could be projecting their own insecurities onto you or teasing someone else to feel better about something terrible going on in their own lives. Just remember how you react to them and how strong you are is what matters!
GavinT
June 26th, 2017 10:01pm
Even if a bully says that there is "no reason" it is rarely quite that simple. Often times bullies find the sense of power in what they are doing to be filling a void in their life where the feel powerless. They may be doing it to cover up bad personal feelings, abuse at home or peer pressure among other things. This does not make the bullying OK, of course, but understanding this may help you to understand the mindset of why that person is lashing out at tyou.
Fenixashes37
August 15th, 2017 11:25am
Sometimes they just not happy with themselves. Forgive them and move on. Don't forget though and learn from your experience. If it fet's worse, if I were you, I would tell someone so the bullying could stop. No one deserves to be bullied.
ItsAcidalia
March 26th, 2018 10:44am
sometimes people bully to show their seniority and feel the power that they can get when people fear them.
LavenderCactus
July 10th, 2018 12:50am
There probably is a meaning behind it that they have yet to discover. A lot of people have a deep rooted reason for why they do things, and they aren't even sure why. It could be something that emotionally affect them from their past, but they refuse to acknowledge it and get out their feelings through picking on others.