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My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18am
My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
March 26th, 2017 10:42pm
Talk to you friend clearly. Ask him why he is always negative towards you and tell him that it hurts you.
April 12th, 2017 5:32pm
I have experienced something similar, although I don't really know your friend. In my case my friend started with being negative, then got more and more rude to me, I think the best thing to do is to weigh of the fun and and pain you get from your friendship. If the fun wins you have you answer, if the bad wins maybe taking a bit emotional distance will save you. This is only my personal experience in a short answer, I don't know your situation, but please consider it :) Good luck hope it all turns out well.
January 27th, 2018 8:34am
Speak with them alone. Express how they make you feel. If they cannot accept that they are negatively affecting you, then they are not a true friend. Friends protect and guide each other. Friends don’t go around belittling and disrespecting others. They stand up for each other and if they can’t do that, I’d suggest you find a new friend who is true and positive.
April 19th, 2018 7:03am
We sometimes hurt the people we love without even noticing. Try to talk to her about it, and if it doesn't work try to distance yourself a bit from her, negative people sometimes effect us in the worst ways possible. Stay safe.
April 26th, 2018 9:45pm
Sometimes people can be negative because there are issues going on in their own lives. If you haven't already perhaps have a talk with them and ask them if they're okay. Sometimes people just need someone to ask if they're okay. If they continue to be negative after then it may be time to rethink the friendship.
July 22nd, 2018 10:30pm
A true friend is never negative towards you. They would have no reason to be if they were. Ask yourself "are they really my friend if this is the only way the behave towards me for no reason?"
December 20th, 2020 5:42pm
Set boundaries. Do not tolerate any disrespect or negativity from anyone regardless of whether it is your friend, family, boyfriend, colleague, etc. You need to be confident, sit down with them, and openly communicate about what is concerning you or what she or he is doing. If you think they they are being a bad friends towards you, I would take a step back from them or even cut them off. Yes, it will be painful and hard but you will have this rewarding feeling afterwards. You need to remember that they are supposed to be on your side, they are supposed to uplift you, not bring you down. Respect yourself enough to walk away from people that don't respect you. You deserve to be happy without having someone bring you down.
July 2nd, 2016 2:44pm
Sometimes there are hidden hurts that come out when we are around people who are genuinely loyal friends. Do you think there is some hidden hurt that might be affecting your friend? Maybe asking some questions about how they are doing or what is going on in their lives, in a non-judgmental way would help you understand their situation? Perhaps you could see if they'd like to go some place quiet for a walk or perhaps meet someplace neutral for a few hours away? Maybe seeing them in a neutral environment would help you find the source of the issue. Good luck.
July 2nd, 2016 11:24pm
Try to discuss this with your friend, maybe bring it up and try to figure out what is going on between you two.
July 6th, 2016 5:46am
You should get new friends or talk it out with the friend that is negative towards you. Your new friends should be supportive.
July 7th, 2016 7:21pm
Sometimes this can be a reflection of some underlying jealousy. Talk to your friend, the best thing to do is tell someone how you feel instead of holding it in and developing frustration. Find a polite way to say that you are bothered by their negativity and ask if there is anything YOU can do to make them be more positive.
July 9th, 2016 2:50pm
For me, the first step I took when I had a friend like that was to have a conversation. I thought maybe she didn't realize how she was making me feel, so I told her how her negativity was hurting me and asked her to try to be more positive. In my situation, this did not work and I got to the point where I realized that the friendship was not worth the negativity so I cut the ties. My suggestion is to first have a conversation (not a confrontation) with your friend about the negativity. If that does not work, then it is up to you to decide whether you value the friendship or your happiness more.
July 10th, 2016 3:19am
Question, if they really are a good friend. Would a good friend, want you to feel bad? Sometimes we need to distance ourself from negative things, surround yourself with good, it would make your own life easier
July 10th, 2016 8:10am
You might want to try to figure out what is going on with your friend. There might be something troubling her and she could be acting out. If she hadn't acted like this before, it might best to gently confront her and figure out why. Communication can solve a lot here.
July 10th, 2016 4:38pm
Tell your friend how you feel. Be open and honest with them about how they treat you and what kind of feelings and emotions you have as a result of that. Tell them what you would like to see/hear from them instead as a friend.
July 10th, 2016 4:43pm
Talk to them about it, communicate your feelings both appropriately and respectfully. Maybe you'll discover that it isn't you, but something that they feel they're facing alone.
July 15th, 2016 12:17am
Try to talk to your friend. The only way to learn the true reason is to ask. Maybe your friend holds some offence on you, you can't be sure if you won't try to find out
July 15th, 2016 12:18am
My friend would sometimes tell me things that would hurt my feelings, or put me down or make me uncomfortable. One day I just told her that I didn't like the way she spoke to me, and asked her not to make so many negative jokes oro statements, because they were really bringing me down. She understood and she stopped.
July 15th, 2016 10:14am
you need to tell her how this makes you feel, and if she gets angry or upset, give her time to think about it, she'll come around
July 15th, 2016 12:21pm
Proper communication is the key. Initiate a heart to heart talk, try to find out the reason why your friend is being negative, she/he may also be going through a rough time that you don't know of. If you think your friend won't be changing his/her negative behaviour, staying away or limiting your exposure to negative people will help you protect your mental and emoitional well being.
July 15th, 2016 4:01pm
The first thing you do is to ask your friend what's the reason behind those negativity. Maybe she/he has a reason.
July 16th, 2016 7:21am
I would tell her that i felt hurt that she was always being negative and ask her to talk about it with me.
July 16th, 2016 10:39pm
Maybe one of the best things to do is talk to her about it and tell her how you feel and that the negativity she is displaying is bringing you down.
July 20th, 2016 1:56pm
Ask your friend to meet you somewhere quiet and where you two are alone. Sit her or him down and talk though everything that happaned. Make sure to include that you don't like the way you're being treated by her or him. Make sure you keep a normal voice in this situation. raising our voice will cause many more problems then it solves.
July 23rd, 2016 1:24pm
Talk to her if they don't listen find another friendship. Friends should always support you and you support them as well
July 24th, 2016 7:21am
Always be willing to talk to people if you feel there is a conflict. It may be that you're perceiving them wrong. If it's not, then there's a chance you can talk to them and clear up any negative feelings they may have against you.
July 30th, 2016 2:11am
Rather than focusing in the negative, focus on the positive. If they are being negative and it bothers you then block it with something positive. It doesn't even have to be related to what they are being negative about, just something positive can make it better.
July 30th, 2016 4:42pm
First all of them help them see the postive side. Second don't make it worse by preaching them or lecture them. If they hurt you then you must speak up and not ignore that will get them more negative.
August 3rd, 2016 10:31am
First of all, sorry to hear about that; it can be hard to deal with negativity regardless, but more so when it is coming from a friend. But as with what to do about it, the best course of action would probably be just to talk to them about it, tell them how you feel, and make sure they fully understand you and you also understand them and their feelings. They may not especially understand that they make you feel this way.
August 6th, 2016 3:02pm
Friends shouldn't be negative towards you, maybe they have their way of joking which is clearly hurting you in which case you should sit down and talk to your friend about it. Explain how what they are saying or doing is making you feel, and tell them exactly word for word. If they don't understand or don't stop then there are many other people out there who could be potential friends and will treat you with the respect that you deserve.