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My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18am
My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
September 3rd, 2017 10:19pm
Have a conversation and ask that person for a reason. Consider your friendship. Is there a reason why this person treats you that way? Maybe that person is stressed or not feeling good. Try to understand your friend.
September 22nd, 2017 7:05am
If you think that you have done well with them, Be with them in their time of their needs then you have nothing to do more for them.If they still thinks about you negatively, just let them behave negatively. you don't need to bother about them. Do good and the good will comes to you...
November 3rd, 2017 2:03pm
The best thing you could do is being honest with her, confront her and tell her that you do not apreciate the fact that she's always so negative, either she tones it down, or you stop talking to her for a moment till she calms down. Don't let her get to you .
November 10th, 2017 10:13am
I would speak with my friend. There must be a valid reason why they are acting negatively towards me (and only me).
November 16th, 2017 4:11pm
Maybe talk to them. It never hurts to have a friendly conversation with your friends. Talk to them about it.
November 22nd, 2017 4:46am
Start off by asking your friend why they are so negative. It's really difficult to understand someone's point of view if they aren't honest about it. If they are really a good friend to you, and not someone who only is around for your use to them, they will understand the way they treat you is not fair, and will hopefully change their behaviors. If they react to your questioning of them with hate and scorn, they are not a friend to you, and you are better off without them in your life. Friends are not there to use, abuse, and toss you away. They are there to enjoy things with you, find happy and friendly company, and share good experiences, or be help when you need it. Don't accept someone's toxic behavior just because you've been around them for long enough.
November 29th, 2017 8:24pm
speak to your friend tell them how you feel and how the their acting towards you is making you feel and see if you can resolve the matter
December 1st, 2017 9:14pm
In friendship, honesty is ever the best policy. Have an honest discussion with them about how you're feeling. If you can do this while focusing on your feelings instead of their actions, it's for the best. Criticizing another person is never easy, but if you do it in a non-judgmental way, it is almost always better received. For example, say, "Sometimes I feel sad because of comments you make. Is there something I'm doing that's making you say these things? I want to do what I can to fix the problem to keep our friendship strong." In that case, you're letting them know that their negativity is affecting you, but you're also telling them that you're willing to work with them to get to a better place in your friendship!
December 2nd, 2017 11:42am
I see that you're feeling sad about this situation, is there any reason that makes him/her act this way? Does he act like this with everyone or just with you? anyhow, we cannot control other people's feelings and thoughts, but try to talk to him about it in a friendly way. hope this helped
December 3rd, 2017 7:29pm
First and foremost if you have the courage speak to your friend about how that makes you feel when he is being negative towards you. Be polite, clear and honest. Tell your friend that you want to be on a good terms and don't want anything to jeopardise your friendship, especially the smallest matters to stand in a way of that. Hopefully they appreciate your honesty and the fact that you've shown that you value your friendship might help them understand that his ways in relation to you wasn't going to benefit either of you, and it's best to communicate any concerns or problems straightaway before things escalate further in the wrong direction.
December 6th, 2017 12:11am
Ask if you did anything to upset them, and if not, if there's something going on. They might just need to tell to someone about something that's going on.
December 6th, 2017 3:27am
If a person is being negative towards you. Try to see it this way; maybe they are having their own unresolved issues that they can't deal with and are trying to project their fears onto you? At times we find it difficult to work with our own emotions and we identify them easily in others. So talk with the person and try to understand the reason behind it. There's a high possibility that it has nothing to do with you and they are just having a hard time.
December 7th, 2017 11:53pm
It is hard to be around negative, sour people. The first step is not to take their criticisms personally. Our inner emotions get expressed and reflected to those around us. So if we are unhappy, we tend to try to bring others down to be miserable with us. It's not intentional and we sometimes don't even recognize that we do it. Once you see that your friend's negativity is coming from how they feel inside, you can address them with more compassion. You can hear what they say and let it not get you down, because they are speaking more about how others make them feel. You can try to diffuse the tension by asking them to reflect more on themselves and their strengths rather than hyper focusing on you. It can be tiring sometimes to continually build friends up, so don't feel bad if you just need some time away too.
December 27th, 2017 10:08pm
If your friend is acting mean or rude towards you, chances are they do not have your best interests at heart. As hard as it may be to admit, they are not a true friend and if spending time with that person does not make you happy, the best thing would be to stop spending time with them. However, I do recommend that you attempt speaking with them about the issue first, as something may be going on in their life which is causing them to act this way. Sit down with them, ask them why they are acting like this towards you, tell them how you feel about their behavior, and if they cannot provide a good reason for their negative behavior then it may be time to cut ties.
January 5th, 2018 2:36am
In this situation, it might seem like your friend really dislikes or just wants to make you mad. However, it has been my experience that friends don't realize how hurtful some of the things they say can be. After all, we're friends and friends don't dislike each other, right? The best thing to do in this situation is to not get mad at your friend or assume they are out to get you. You should stay calm and talk with them about how their actions are making you feel. Any good friend will listen to you and care about what you say. Good luck!
January 6th, 2018 11:40pm
Talk to them about it. If you already have, perhaps hang out with new people until they aren't so negative
January 12th, 2018 9:23am
You could try to find out the reason behind it. If somehow there is a problem, you could try to solve it together with your friend. If it's too difficult, you can find a third party to help you solve it. Eventually, you still can show your positive sides to your friend.
January 18th, 2018 12:47am
First maybe try and help them to see what's wrong. Friends are meant to bring you up not make you feel down and when someone is very unhappy with themselves and their own life, they tend to take it out on others close to them, especially if they feel that they are happier or more successful than themselves. For many insecure people, bringing you down is the only way they can elevate themselves. Try to ask your friend what's wrong and offer to help them. if that doesn't work and they are still treating you bad for no good reason then its time to cut them off
January 18th, 2018 5:06pm
In the course of a persons life, you will meet many people who are not positive. It's an unchangeable reality for many people to experience this. The only thing you can do is change the way you perceive their negativity by understanding why they do this. Maybe they had an abusive childhood, or were put down by their teachers. Asking questions is the root of understanding.
January 19th, 2018 7:14am
Talk to them about how you feel. Let them know their negativity isn’t making you happy. Ask them why they are always negative towards you and see where the conversation takes you without. It doesn’t have to lead to a argument. Communication is key.
January 25th, 2018 10:45am
Ask them why they are always mean and negative to you. Either that or decide they are not a good friend and move on.
January 27th, 2018 2:29am
Your friend might be having a rough time. Tell your friend what's wrong and tell them that you will be there for them
February 7th, 2018 3:26pm
How many times have you heard the adage, "Birds of a feather flock together"? If you are at least 25 years old you have probably heard that phrase more times than you can count. So why is that phrase repeated so much? Well, because its true! Have you ever been judged because of who you associate with? For example, have you ever been called gay because you have gay friends? That is something that many of my friends and co-workers face on a regular basis. Keeping these thoughts, and especially your answers in mind, what DO you do when your friend is always negative? You make the conscious, moment to moment decision to be a positive, loving, genuine person. Notice, I said person, NOT friend! I want you to think about this distinction, what does it mean? It means that when we choose to be positive, when we choose to be loving, sometimes, we choose to leave our negative friends behind as we move forward in our lives! I am not telling you to get rid of your friends, or to stop talking to every single person who ever says anything negative. However, I am saying that when we behavior differently, we force those around us to behave differently towards us. Your friend will be forced to respond differently when you no longer give into his or her negativity. Your friend will be forced to respond differently when you no longer cry, shut down, or act out in response to their negativity. Simply by being the happier, healthier version of you, your negative friends, family members, co-workers, and peers will be FORCED to respond and thus behave differently. How incredible would it feel to wake up excited about the day? How incredible would it feel to recognize the beauty of the world instead of the misery? So much of this is a choice that you can make each and every moment. I want that for you! Birds of a feather right... Come fly with me! Change your moment to moment thoughts and I guarantee that your friends will change too. Need help making that happen? Don't believe its possible for you? Send me a message, I will help you reach the stars!
February 9th, 2018 8:06am
well, why not try to speak with your friend and resolve the problem, if she doesn't stop maybe start talk to other people and make new friends that are nicer.
February 16th, 2018 3:20am
Tell your friend how you feel. Friends are supposed to be there for you, they are supposed to help you, and be positive around you. If they don't wanna change or be someone that makes a positive vibe around you, you don't need them.
February 16th, 2018 7:13pm
If they're always being negative around you, then they don't deserve you. You deserve someone who will be there for you and support you through the hard times.
February 17th, 2018 3:45am
You should tell her how you feel and also tell her that the way she acts towards you is making you feel unhappy. If she continues acting this way, you shouldn't be friends with her anymore, since it looks like you're in a toxic friendship.
February 28th, 2018 2:34pm
Negative peer affects us more than we realise. They affect our self esteem and in order to please them, we do things which we don't want to do. So it's better to have no friends than to have friends that are worse than enemies.
February 28th, 2018 5:59pm
i have negative friends personally and i try to be a positive influence on their life. show them that life is much better when you can be positive because pouring negativity and spilling it everywhere also effects the people around us. we dont know what type of day someone is having a flashing a smile at someone could possibly brighten their whole day and all you had to do was smile. nobody wants to be around a negative person, just showing them how much more fun it is to be positive then negative usually works for me
March 1st, 2018 7:04pm
Ask him why he's so negative towards you. The only person who knows what's going on is your friend.