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What do you do when the bully has too much power and can get you in trouble even if you are the one being hurt by them?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 05/18/2020 at 1:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2005 with a diverse group of clients, all ages, races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Hotchocolate7
January 16th, 2015 6:06am
I personally think that the best way to deal with a bully (especially an adult bully) is to not give them any reason to get you in trouble (e.g., sending them angry emails etc) and gather as much evidence of their contact, stalking - and keep reporting these to the police and let them know you would like to keep things confidential. These records will help you out if the bully tries to bullshit evidence on you. Never deal with a bully directly, always deal with them legally.
LilyFlowers
May 5th, 2015 6:18am
It sounds like something similar to a bully boss or supervisor. I was bullied by my internship supervisor. The only thing you can do is tell someone above them in power. or you can work on being responsible for how you let things affect you. We are responsible for our emotions, how we feel. Working on not being reactive and looking at things differently will help.
Stainedglass
June 3rd, 2015 12:23pm
The easiest thing would be to seperate yourself from them the best you can. cyber? block those websites for a while, and make sure to tell someone about what is happening whom you can trust, who can help keep you in the clear
LOV1NGCH1CK
July 30th, 2015 9:06pm
Never be alone always be with friend, dont let bully see u alone he or she will trap u so no one knows if friends are with you they cant touch you, tell a teacher have a gaurdian watching, call the police, they can watch ur place or follow u home to make sure u dont get bothered, ask for rides, tell the neighborhood u walk through to keep their eyes out if they see it happening they can report it and u will have witnesses, if they contact u on social media take photos of conversation or comments they make to you, if they leave voice messages record them to turn in as proof theres lots of things u can do
Anonymous
August 17th, 2015 3:47pm
That's difficult. You need to let those who trust you and care about you know that in reality you are really doing nothing wrong. Don't hide anything and completely tell them everything.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2015 7:29pm
through it all you are the one being hurt and its ok to ask for help all. bullies have the power over you when you dont have the power over yourself. so find power in yourself and they wont hurt you
JoanMcWench721
November 9th, 2015 10:46am
You need to alert a teacher or a counselor. That's really your only option. They need to know that this person is in an emotional place where this behaviour is unacceptable.
PaperGhostie
December 14th, 2015 6:36pm
I had a lot of trouble with this recently actually and addressed this with my boss when this came up enough that I dreaded going to work even when said person wasn't there. I stated the facts and showed evidence whenever possible. If you can, have witnesses backing up your claim. Because a he said/she said can go into a stale mate but a he or she said vs they say is a lot harder to get to that point.
playfulDreamer93
December 29th, 2015 1:14am
Stand up fir yourself tell an adult that you trust and that you know trusts you someone is always there for you.
avocadoallyson
February 6th, 2017 12:38am
Bullies are often insecure and try to find your insecurities so that they feel better about themselves. The best way to combat bullies is by not showing them how they hurt you. If they see that their actions are not affecting you, they should stop. Stay strong and make sure you bring up instances of bullying to important people like teachers or other adults as soon as they happen. Find someone you trust that you can talk to, and they should try to help you get rid of your bully.
MissLuthien
August 14th, 2017 10:46am
Tell first. I know sometimes it's frightening, but teachers deal with bullies every single year. Be honest about your concerns about them getting you in trouble. Also with the amount of bullying online and in person, screenshot the evidence of any threats like this, print them, and take a copy to a teacher or school counsellor you trust. Then give another copy to your parents by email or printed, then don't keep them yourself. Don't keep reading through them. You deserve to not feel how bullies make you feel.
Anonymous
March 19th, 2018 12:44am
If you're being hurt and the bully is trying to get you in trouble, get a adult to intervene and let them know this issue, or even verbally tell them to stop by speaking up for yourself too.
Hedwiglovegood
November 18th, 2019 12:50pm
I would avoid them as much as i possibly could. Will try to get evidence against them and try to find someone who would not be partial because of his money or power. If i could i would get a group of people who have been bullied and try to get a majority protest or complaint against that one person....its a tough situation and nobody wants to go through it silently...we just have to have the courage to protest together..make a stand. ..even the most powerful can be taken down if there are enough number of people protesting..
Anonymous
May 18th, 2020 1:13pm
Hmmm that's a good question. I recommend the book called 48 laws of Power by Robert Greene. I think its better to ignore the bully as much as possible. Unless, he's harming you in other indirect ways. Definitely, report about it to someone that you trust. Sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry. Depending on where you live a recorder can help you if the bully says something nasty. A recorder maybe illegal without consent depending on where you live. As long you didn't do any trouble then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Unless, the bully is very intelligent to frame you very well. On Amazon, you can buy a recording glasses if anything happens. Thinking creatively to help you is something that I recommend. Remember a bully is insecure. Power comes in different ways. If I were you too I would find someone who has more power than the bully. They can help you if they're on your side. Good luck!