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What does a bully get out of bullying people?

43 Answers
Last Updated: 04/19/2021 at 6:42pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
December 7th, 2014 1:39pm
I think it makes them feel more confident about themselves, most bullies are under confident and bringing other people down makes them feel better themselves. They probably don't realise the impact they have on people's emotions. Also, they might not realise that there are other ways of feeling more confident.
August 31st, 2015 3:38pm
Usually they feel less vulnerable to being hurt when they are hurting others. They use it for distraction to keep them safe from emotional harm.
February 23rd, 2016 12:09am
Bullies usually like to hold power and control over people because they don't have it in their lives. I know some kids at my school who used to be the biggest sweethearts, but then started to tear others down to build themselves up. I don't think bullying is ever the answer.
May 31st, 2016 10:24pm
The bully will hopefully get feelings of guilt. The bully can also get bad reputation, it might be harder to find friends if you are a bully.
July 12th, 2016 5:30am
They get power. They have power over you and that makes them feel stronger and better than you, even though that's rarely the case.
February 6th, 2017 3:55pm
Bullies tend to be cowards who prey on people they deem weaker than themselves to assert their own strength in certain areas, the truth is that these bullies are almost always insecure about themselves in one way or another.
April 25th, 2020 5:16pm
Having been put through a lot of bullying for being talented compared with others, it is the satisfaction of destroying the life of someone they envy which motivates them - because they cannot excel naturally they have to destroy others. Many are like cowards in The Weakest Link who use the power of the vote to make the strongest look weakest and destroy their chances of doing well. Bullies didn’t just include other children but some incompetent teachers and employers/managers who were jobsworths put on a pedestal out to suppress the talents of others who were seen to be doing better by making it look wrong. Power in the hands of the weak breeds destruction, abuse, crime and more - all originating from inferiority of the inner-self of these bullies. Typical behaviours like these are known as “evils of inferiority”.
August 25th, 2020 5:26am
Bullying is a perverse and unhealthy way of coping with problems for many. A bully might have pent-up frustration and anger at being treated harshly or unfairly and tends to take it out on others. It is basically an assertion of power, a way to stand above everyone else around them. It makes them feel like they have the upper hand. Often, people become bullies after having been bullied themselves and this is especially true for kids. Bullying others gives them a false sense of security and power, makes them think that bullying is the only way to stay immune from mistreatment themselves. Most often, bullies will have a traumatic past which is the root of their misbehavior. There are also some people who might bully because it seems cool to them.
May 14th, 2018 8:17am
They get a momentary sense of great relief from bullying. They're usually really hurt people that are weak inside, they might've been bullied themselves and they find bullying others gives them gratification.. most wont fight back when you do) We should try to stand up to a bully and later help them deal with their issues
July 17th, 2018 8:14am
Most bullies are unfortunately people who have suffered really tragic experiences and they try to take it out on the people around them
April 21st, 2020 9:08pm
Usually, a bully likes feeling stronger or having power over the other. If they see that they are getting a reaction from the person they are bullying they will most likely continue to bully that person. Some times bullies have had a hard life so they want to be able to feel in power for once. Bullies can sometimes be in pain and putting others in pain helps relieve it for a bit. Bullies want that power to close the whole of their past pain. Usually, they haven't reached out or they decide they can help themselves by causing others pain.
September 15th, 2020 10:38am
A bully probably gets a feeling of fulfillment and a feeling of power out of bullying others. We have to remember though that often bullies are still people like us, despite how they act they also have their worries and fears and insecurities. Often it is the case that because the bullies themselves are in pain, they feel the need to hurt others. This behavior is not okay in any means, but it is important to try and step into their shoes, seeing things from their perspective and noticing their feelings. But please make sure to look up an adult, someone trusted to help you, and the bully. Create positivity and happiness, and stay strong.
April 19th, 2021 6:42pm
I believe that bullies get a feeling of power and being in control that they don't get in other environments. Bullies can be kids of divorced parents, kids that are being abused, kids that have been bullied themselves - what they all have in common, is that they have some kind of underlying trauma within them and their way to try to overcome it is with having power over others, as they are the ones that feel powerless in an environment that should empower them, such as school, at home, etc. Unfortunately, most bullies (at the time of bullying) are not aware of the consequences for their victims for the rest of their lives.