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What's a good way to deal with mean girls?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 05/19/2020 at 6:39am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lisa Groesz, PhD


With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.

Top Rated Answers
April 18th, 2015 3:50am
In my experience, there is no one definite way to handle someone being a bully, but i would suggest that the first thing is to empower yourself - do something that doesn't involve them that makes you happy; listen to some powerful music, take up fit-boxing, or hang out with a best friend. The second thing would be to give yourself the power of knowledge - look on forums and talk to others about how they deal with it, or google bullying and learn some tactics. The next step is how you deal with it at the time: some people say it can be good to ignore bad behaviour, because it takes away their attention. I've also heard people say that you should smile, and act like it isn't affecting you, because they don't get the reaction they are looking for. Although this might work for some, it won't work every time, and i think it can be equally important to actually let the bully know that you're not okay with how they are treating you, and that you won't stand for it. In the end, bullies are bullies for a reason; usually it's because they think you are a threat, because they want attention, or because they are so insecure themselves that they want to try and gain control over situations by hurting others. If you can remember that, then you will remember that sometimes a bully will always be a bully, but it isn't your fault. It isn't your personality that is the problem, it's theirs. Your personality is created by your brain, and so is theirs. Unfortunately, their brain has been learning that being hurtful is a way to keep control over how they feel. You don't have to be that way. Boost your own confidence by being kind to others, even to those who aren't kind to you. Retaliating to bullying in a negative way is often tempting, but not conducive to the situation. Create a support network of people like you, and people you trust. Your network will keep you strong; there is strength in numbers. If you ever see someone else being bullied, stick up for them! Confidence is key, and if you can be strong enough to say "I'm not going to stoop to your level, but i'm not going to let you belittle me, either" then you are on the right path.
April 3rd, 2015 2:09am
Always ignore them. They are no better than you, we are all humans, they are not more important than you and you should let them know, but in the most polite way that you can muster.
July 13th, 2015 8:53pm
Ignore them. They're not going to get you anywhere in life so might as well ignore them. Just do what makes you happy and comfortable
November 17th, 2015 3:53am
Ignore them, avoid them, don't engage or communicate with them, and keep your friends close. Make sure to have a support network. These mean girls will never get anywhere in life, so you have to prove them wrong. Don't worry, they'll be sweeping the floors for you in the future. The real world is going to hit these girls hard because high school drama is not accepted in the work place or in family. Don't give these girls your time of day. They don't deserve it.
January 11th, 2016 11:07pm
The interesting thing about mean girls is that they more than likely have lower self esteem than their targets. A great way to stand your ground is to be direct, but always the bigger person. Tell them you are who you are and they don't have to like it and that it's a waste of your time to listen to them try to bring you down.
September 28th, 2015 11:34am
A good way to deal with mean girls is confidence. If you are able to develop a good confidence nothing will ever be able to get to you because you know deep down you are worth it.
March 4th, 2016 9:33pm
Confront them. Most girls are just mean because they think you won't talk back to them, but once you show them that you're not scared of them, they'll most likely back off.
February 17th, 2015 1:29pm
Look at them, and realise that they are in no better place than you are. A lot of bullies suffer from low self confidence. Stand up to them.
May 8th, 2015 2:57pm
Although it's much easier said than done, the best way is to completely ignore them; they'll get bored eventually. They're just too bored of their own lives, or they have self-esteem so low that they need to bring down others to feel better about themselves.
May 22nd, 2015 5:06am
Just ignore them, all they want is a response out of you. If they are getting to a point where it is all to much, get some help from someone you trust.
June 18th, 2015 2:52am
Handle them calmly and don't stoop to their level. Just accept their way and move on with your life. Just think that one day they won't matter at all.
September 7th, 2015 6:28pm
The best way to deal with any mean person is ignore them. If you show or act like it's not getting to you, they leave you alone because it doesn't bother you. Though if you can't do that, I recommend going to a trusted adult, like a family member or a teacher and telling them about it, so they can handle it.
September 14th, 2015 8:47pm
Tell them they are too mean but be kind plase its okay to tell your thoughts about them thats the only way
December 14th, 2015 4:10am
Avoid them, if they bother you, tell a teacher or your parents FAST. Don't let them start to bully you, but just remember.. there is always a way out... if you tell an adult :)
January 18th, 2016 1:27am
Confront them and tell them that you don't appreciate the way they are treating you and the way it makes you feel. They will probably be surprised to see you confront them in a non-hostile manner, and see that you aren't afraid of them.
March 15th, 2016 11:26pm
The good way to deal with a mean girl is just to walk away and don't say anything mean back to start a conflict.:-)
December 5th, 2017 1:03am
Dealing with mean girls can be very frustrating but an effective way that worked for me is to surround yourself with true friends and more love. This will help you look past the hate and negativity! You should also keep in mind that people who put others down are horrible human beings, and you are way better than them! Don't let a bunch of mean girls lower your self esteem because they're not worth it!
July 4th, 2016 11:07pm
Avoid them if they are bothering in any way, also try to avoid fights, you cal always tell an adult about the situation
June 19th, 2017 11:55am
When it comes to any unkind person, simply ignoring them or walking away can suffice. If the issue isn't going away, consult a higher authority to resolve the issue.
February 6th, 2018 7:29pm
A good way to get rid of mean girls is to ignore them and stand above them. Don’t sink down to their level and hurt them back. The only reason they want to hurt you is to get a reaction out of you and because they’re not satisfied with their own lives.
April 24th, 2018 10:53pm
Don't engage them with violence or rumors, or ignore them and don't stoop to their level. Once you're out of their business, you won't have to deal with them again.
May 19th, 2020 6:39am
Mean girls are often girls who have their own feelings that they project onto you. There are many ways to deal with mean girls and they can all be done separately, used together, or in conjunction with each other. Most people try to ignore mean girls but when that stops working you can stop. Ask them why they are treating you the way that they are. You will make them confront their own feelings while also showing to them that you are making a stand for yourself. If you prefer not to be confrontational tell someone you can trust. If you feel as if there is no one you can trust, go to someone with authority. If you can recognize their authority and also fairness they can help you.