What's the best way to get over someone calling you nasty names?
315 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2022 at 5:47am
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
Do not trust anyone elses judgement except for your own and your own peoples'. Please. You know you are a good person. What they've said reflects their unkindness, not your character. :)
Know that ALL behavior is communication. Yes, they are verbally communicating hurtful words, but it is really communicating that they have a void filled with insecurities within them, and that terrifies them. Lashing out at others and hurting them with words, as harmful and mean as they can be to the recipient, ends up being harder on the one who says the hurtful things. Knowing their hateful words are rooted in their own internal pain and have absolutely NOTHING to do with their target may open up the possibility to respond with compassion. Compassion for the misery they must endure that brings them to the point of cruelty in their effort to protect their own vulnerabilities. People make bad decisions when mad, sad, or stressed. Try loving them by seeing their words for what they are. A cry for help they may not even accept they need. Know you are beautiful and wonderful just as you are; their words reflect how they feel inside about themselves, and that is a sad dynamic for all.
Nasty names are tough, I would probably push it out of my head and then do some things to make myself feel better.
They are trying to tear you down to make themselves feel better. It's a sign of their own insecurity. Strong people don't have to step on others to have self confidence.
Take it with a grain of salt because I person who would go to that extent to destroy another is a person with a lot of anger or insecurities of their own. If you can proudly admit to your faults and know you are not perfect then who cares what someone els thinks. Thou shall not judge
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2019 1:26am
Take a deep breath and explain to yourself why you don't fall under the category of that nasty name. Likely, if someone calls you a nasty name, they're the ones who fall under that category. Just take a deep breath and ignoring them works too! Sometimes it's just best not to give into their nonsense.
If their name calling continues, maybe try to avoid them all together.
Just remember to not go down to their level! The harassment will continue if you give into them!
If the name calling ever gets to you, maybe put the negative mood into something productive? Writing and drawing are two of many ways!
When they are close with you, it's important to realize the way they treat you could be a reflection of their own view of themself.
When they are simply a stranger or acquaintance, harmful words are used to illicit a desired response.
Often, having the strength to understand that neither scenario is a reflection of the person you actually are as a whole leads to better managing your own reactions.
Getting defensive, or feeling victimized are natural responses. However, as a human being, you have the power to decide how you finally respond.
If separating yourself from an antagonistic person isn't an option, try replying with empathy:
"It sounds like you're upset with me."
Or reply with resolve,
"That's simply not true."
The best way to get over someone calling you nasty names is really just to remember a few things. The first is that they most likely do not know you enough to call you that or to even say it meaningfully. The second thing to remember is that the things they are calling you are just words, as words can be said in different ways, but can still mean the same thing. Lastly, even though words are words it does not mean, at all, that feeling sad is wrong or that is is 'weak'. That's why listeners are here.
The best thing is not to retaliate. Let them tire themselves and show them that you are tougher than their words. Everything they say doesn't speak about you anyway, it reflects the kind of person they really are.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2017 11:49am
To just ignore it. It sounds cheesey and your parents probably tell you the same thing but ignoring the bully will make them mad and give you a sense of control. If the bully is being physical then it's time to maybe talk to an adult or teacher about it.
Ignore it. That's the best you can do. It doesn't' matter what they think of you. When people tried to insult me I knew that God is on my side. Also it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 1:34am
I ignore, but I know doing this can be hard for some people. Just remember they're trying to get to you. They want you to be sad. Try thinking of something happy to make you smile or laugh. It can leave the bully confused or flustered,
People will say rude, mean, nasty things towards you. Everyone gets them. Remember that people can say terrible things. Unbearable things about you. And they will have nothing to do with you. They will have nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves.
I would just block them out and do my best to Ignore them if I was in your situation. The more you react.... the worse it'll get---If you react then you are only going to make them want to continue doing what they are doing and acting in the way that they are acting towards you. If you are want then you could always try talking to them (in a calm manner) and telling them that their behavior is not ok and that you don't appreciate it. If it continues and if they continue to call you nasty names then you can either ignore it or get someone else involved.
Show them that it doesn't bother you. They pick on you to see a reaction spark, if they see no reaction, perhaps they'll give up. Just don't believe what they say, don't let it get to you.
The first thing I usually do is put space between myself and the person. Reminding myself that I don't need the person or their opinion in my life helps me feel a little less hurt by their words. I then usually try to validate myself by doing something that makes me feel proud or spending time with people that make me feel better about myself.
Just ignore it.They are doing it because they are contstantly thinking about you which is different from you,you dont thin about them at all.If you ignore it there is a huge chance for them to stop.And also whatever they say you know the truth,that you are beautiful just the way you are!!!
My answer is a cliché one, you can just ignore them. It works well! But to be honest, it's not that easy. You can start off by thinking that their opinions on you don't really matter. You're you, and you don't need to care about someone else thinking you're fat, ugly, weird, or more. You don't need someone else's approval to love yourself.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2015 7:27pm
just think positive its the only way to go. then you just find nice things to say to yourself like: i am a good person i can do anything i want to and i can be anything i want to be.
Remember that you can’t please everybody. We aren’t perfect and we can’t please everyone and that’s ok because we are all different. Stop remembering what someone said negatively about you and start remembering more often about the compliments that people who really care about you tell you. That’s what you should focus on, the people who love you and want to see at your best.
It can be really tough to get over something like that. Words can cause so much damage. As hard as it may be, and what has helped me also, is to try to remind yourself that what others do and say has nothing to do with you. People who are negative to others often feel miserable with themselves or an aspect of their life. That in no way excuses their behaviour, but in saying that, people sometimes unfortunately try to bring others down to raise themselves above those individuals. But sometimes, people are just mean for no given reason. At the end of the day, what people say and do is only a reflection of who they are, not who you are.
Filter those nasty names; an insult is a compliment wrapped in spikes. Don't fight fire with fire, though, as you don't know what they could be going through!
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 11:15pm
You have probably heard "They're just jealous" before, but that might be exactly why they do that. Just remember you are fantastic and that person doesn't know what they're messing with!
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 5:12am
The best way to get over someone calling you nasty names is to remind yourself that the person may be going through terrible things at home. Ignore the person, they will eventually stop.
Know your self-worth, if you know who you really are, those words have nothing on you, I know it is not easy but rather focus on your succes, people calling you names are usually jealose
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 5:35am
Ignore them! if someone doesn't like you, thats not your problem, its theirs! People only call you names to make themselves feel superior
Take those insult and wear it like an shield, it won't bother you anymore if you know these ain't true, and most important, if they see they can't hurt you they'll get tired of it.
Just know that what people say is a definition of who they are, not who you are. If people call you nasty names, it is because they think poorly of themselves. Furthermore, if people spread positivity, they are most likely happy, healthy individuals.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 9:51am
Realize that their anger has nothing to with you and everything to do with them internally and love yourself!!
Often nasty names hurt because we try to associate some truth to it. We question whether or not we deserve those harmful words--and if we have self doubt, those words can damage our hearts.
Write down the word. Figure out why it makes you feel so awful. Remove the emotional charge from the word...Then, discover where the venom from the individual is coming from. Hurt people hurt people.
Find comfort and validation from your own heart and remove the sting of someone's sharp tongue by ignoring them--or take it a step further, and see if maybe they have some issues that they are unable to resolve.
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