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What's the best way to make a bully understand how horrible his behaviour is?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2018 at 2:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
June 17th, 2015 11:34pm
In my life, bullying has always been a thing i was in touch with and i was the target of. In my opinion, apart from very little cases of Bullying caused from kids with troublesome families, there is no such way to deal with words, with a violent bully. And i have always witnessed Parents underestimating this problem. My choice in life was to take Martial arts training, which helped me in Many more ways other than dealing with aggression. That's my advice if YOU are the target. If you are not, in my opinion the best way to make him understand his behaviour is putting him in front of the fact that he is major cause of psychological issues. But This is utopistic, since in the most cases i have seen, bullies have the rest of the class on their side, Hardly there is anyone to stand against them. Take up martial arts, gain confidence, and show him the way of bushido ;)
January 27th, 2015 4:18pm
Having the people the bully is trying to impress tell him so! Once he realizes he's lost the admiration he so dearly covets, he'll rethink his strategy.
May 18th, 2015 2:30am
It depends on the bully, but generally if he's bullying in the first place, he understands that it's hurtful and that's WHY he's doing it. He WANTS to hurt someone, or at least dominate someone without their consent. If someone's just being overbearing without any intent to harm, they're not actually bullying, and you may be able to explain to them that they're doing damage.
May 20th, 2015 9:28pm
Asking them directly, face to face, if they know what they are doing to you. Explaining, if it's possible, in a calm way, how you are feeling and what his actions affect. Sometimes this can be a way to stop them from doing what they are doing.
September 23rd, 2015 4:40pm
Sadly, I don't think they'll ever know unless they have kids of their own and those kids are being bullied. Giving them a "taste of their own medicine" definitely isn't going to be helpful, and is going to fuel them even more. If they are still in High School, or College, it still may take a couple of years for them to realize how bad they are, and have done. Hopefully the bully will mature enough in due time.
October 27th, 2015 10:21am
try talking to the person face to face , tell a professional what is going on ,you cant always make a bully understand how their behaviour is effecting you.The bully may be trreating you in a certain way as they may have low self esteem
January 26th, 2016 8:10pm
Well when I was young I got someone who was bigger to pick on the bully it worked But it was not the best way to deal with it
June 13th, 2016 6:46pm
Let them know that there is a better way to go about things instead of bullying those who can't help themselves
July 3rd, 2016 11:03am
Perhaps if you can, ask him how he would feel if someone treated someone he loved the way he treats others. How would he feel if someone treated his mother, his little sister, his older brother, his father, girlfriend, boyfriend, anyone he loved the way he treats you. Chances are, he'd be pretty angry about it. This would be a decent step to helping him to understand what's wrong.
July 5th, 2016 5:18am
You can Start by writing a letter telling he or she how you truly feel without being rude or aggressive. Allow he or she to better understand your situation and how you are. Tell them you are willing to be friends and if friends is too great of a thing you would be ok with acquaintances but as long as he or she can allow you to feel like how a human being would like to be felt. Like how he or she would like to be felt.
June 6th, 2017 10:20pm
There is not a surefire way, unfortunately. You need to talk to a trusted adult or someone close to the bully and let them know of the effects.
July 2nd, 2018 10:32am
Try to explain how hurt it is when you get made fun of, or try to show him and sooner or later he will understand that his horrible behaviour is hurting everyone
August 27th, 2018 2:00pm
I don't personally believe bullies can be 'made' to understand how horrible their behavior is, until they are placed on the receiving end. The problem with that is, most bullies are bullies because they have already been in the same situation, and this is their way of avoiding ever being a victim again. I'm not saying it's right. But 9 times out of 10 there is a far deeper reason for someone becoming a bully. And until the underlying issue is unpacked, and people get to heal, a bully will remain a bully. So, instead of the usual fighting back or doing to them as they do onto you (which doesnt solve anything), try understanding what happened in their lives to make them this way. Its the hardest thing in the world to do, but the only way to get through. A bully may need counseling - there's a thought.