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What's the best way to stop your friends being really mean to you from affecting you?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 12/09/2019 at 11:47am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
May 7th, 2015 6:55am
My mother always told me, "It's best to have no company than bad company." As I grew up, I realized that this is really spot on.
August 18th, 2015 11:31pm
The best way to stop your friends being really mean to you from affecting you is to not be friends with them at all or tell them that it was rude or that it hurt you.
October 27th, 2015 11:17am
You should never take things personal learn to separate what's important and what isn't. if they are true friends they wouldn't hurt you at all.
June 7th, 2015 1:06am
The best way is to prioritize your well being and decide how important this friendship is with your ill-mannered companion. If they are deliberately mistreating you, sometimes breaking off toxic relationships can stop their actions from affecting you.
June 10th, 2015 5:01am
A good idea would be to try talking to your friends! Let them know in a calm, respectful way that what they are saying or doing is hurting your feelings. They may be saying things simply meaning to joke around, or saying things they had no idea would actually hurt you. By letting them know, you give them a chance to change their behaviors.
December 9th, 2019 11:47am
Friends have a big impact in someones life and sometimes they can have a big influence and impact on their emotions. It is necessary to address that not everyone who might appear as your friend is actually caring for you. Some people aren't emotionally stable and healthy and that could impact you and they might even treat you negatively which of course it is only natural for these words or actions of theirs might affect negatively on someone and hurt them in the long run. My best advice would be to talk with your friend about how some of their actions is affecting negatively on you and hurting you, communication is key in a relationship and can help solve a lot of misunderstanding and problems in a relationship as well. If they don't listen and choose to continue with their negative attitude even after you have explained to them i think it is best to slowly move on.
September 1st, 2015 10:53am
The best defence against toxic mean having influence in your life is to establish and maintain strong boundaries. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to enforce your boundaries with people you consider your friends. You might not feel as though you have the right or the authority to stand up to them. If you’ve absorbed their bullshit for long enough, you might feel that you deserve what they’re doing to you. You may think that they’re right and “only trying to help”. When you do start to show signs of enforcing your boundaries with them, they may try to frame things as though you’re being unreasonable. Good. Be unreasonable. You don’t need to justify or explain why you’re enforcing your boundaries. Your refusing to let other people stomp all over your self-worth is not up for public debate or open to discussion. You and you alone get to decide where the line is and who gets to cross it.
September 3rd, 2015 4:58am
The best way to stop anything is to give it a voice. Speak up about it. It may seem difficult and or challenging but nobody else will do it for you. If you speak up and express how you feel, and your concerns, then you've done the best you can for yourself. After that it depends on how your friends react. Some people may not realize that they are being mean, or that it is affecting others. And all it takes is someone pointing it out to them. Some people however are aware, and simply don't care. In that case you have to ask yourself what does a friend and friendship mean to you, and if the other person still fits into that description.
January 24th, 2015 6:40am
Realize that you deserve to be treated the way that you treat others. If you think about it, them being mean is affecting you is hurting you too, walking away is best. You will miss the person they use to be or you thought they was not the reality of person they are then.
March 15th, 2015 10:52pm
I used to think the beat way to stop such things from affecting you was to find a distraction after the occurrence. But a distraction is only good for so long. Think is even if you find a way to avoid your feelings on the matter those feelings will just return at a later date. Maybe the best course of action would be to find someone who doesn't ridicule you? Maybe someone a bit younger that can empathize.
April 10th, 2015 4:05pm
The best way to stop being affected by this is to trully understand that your are special for so many different reasons, that al the mean things they can do ar say to you don't really matter because they don't know who you really are and what's you've been through. Also, "friends" come and go, and the real friends won't ever be mean towards you.
April 12th, 2015 5:08am
Tell them they are being mean and it makes you uncomforable . Tell them it hurts, if they are really your friends..they ll be considerate.
November 5th, 2015 12:33am
Tell them it really hurts you. If they dont care, take some distance. Why would you endure this. friends are not suposed to be mean.
February 29th, 2016 12:21pm
I'd say it's better to stop being around people who are mean to you. It's normal to be affected by that. It's not right to stay in touch with people who are constantly offending you. How could you just move on and pretend you are okay with each other? Find better friends, those who really appreciate who you are and what your connection means.
March 1st, 2016 8:19am
Confront her about it and if she doesn't stop, unfriend her. You do not need negative people in your life to bring you down.
March 21st, 2016 8:28pm
Get the hell out of there. If you think they're really mean, then why stick on ? Find your company and move on .
April 5th, 2016 5:11pm
Simply, know your worth. You are worth more than any mean comments coming from anyone at all. You're above it. Know yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself so fiercely, that you don't even allow anyone with such negativity anywhere around you.
May 24th, 2016 3:11am
From my experience, the best way to handle friends being rude is to ask yourself why it bothers you. Are they saying mean things? Spreading rumors? If they are your friends, try talking to them about it.