Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why bullies tend to become more aggressive when you show them you just want peace?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 04/27/2020 at 6:16am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
May 8th, 2017 4:02am
Bullies will pick on anyone who doesn't join them. However, joining them is not the way to go. They will target you if you are peaceful and kind because they are jealous. They wish that they had your kindness because people want to be friends with others who are kind, not with a bully. They are most likely dealing with problems of their own and they don't know how to cope with the issues, so they take it out on others. But never give in, hatefulness will get you nowhere.
February 15th, 2016 11:41pm
it takes a courageous and strong spirit to stand up to a bully. the bully counts on your lack of ability to remain separate from His or her emotional tantrum. showing the bully that you are not willing to get sucked in challenges everything the bully believes about him or herself. the best thing to do when dealing with a bully is to make it clear that you will not in any way accept the abuse and that if challenged, you will immediately involve those in a position of authority and or, if not possible, defend yourself in the least confrontational way possible. do not argue with the bully and do NOT bargain. stand your ground if all else fails and by all means, do not allow yourself to be emotionally wounded in the process. if a beagle can stand up to a pit bulll with a bit of a stare down, so can you! (Eeeek! I have seen that happen)!!
May 14th, 2015 6:17pm
Because they expect a victim to be afraid of them and do whatever they want. They want to feel like they has power over somebody.
June 6th, 2015 12:46am
Bullies will pick on those that they believe to be weak and it's usually to show their dominance. This can be for many reasons including, but not limited to; showing off, making themselves feel better about their own problems, taking their anger out on someone who looks like or acts like the person that they may be bullied by or simply because they're not a nice person. A bully will usually go round in a big group of people because on their own, they know there's a chance that someone will stand up to them and therefore, they will see their true colours but if they're in a big group, they know that the person they're terrorizing will be too worried about what their friends would do to them also.
June 6th, 2015 3:59pm
Well, they think that is weak. Sometimes, it is best to just ignore them or stand up for yourself in a different way.
June 13th, 2016 9:00pm
Bullies tend to get aggressive when they are told you want peace because the bullies only ever want to get a reaction.if you try to take that they only push harder but will ALWAYS give up because when they can't get a reaction they like they will pack up and leave you
August 9th, 2016 9:23am
Bullies tend to become more aggressive when you show them you just want peace because they are not getting the reaction that they were hoping to get from you. They want you upset and crying to them, not asking for peace and so they feel like their fun is all messed up when you say you just want peace.
March 7th, 2017 4:26pm
It's because they want a fight. They want a struggle to gratify their moral need. And when they don't get that, it infuriates them. That's the reason they become more aggressive to provoke the fight inside of the victim.
February 23rd, 2015 12:50am
Bullying is much more complex than many people think. Bullying can happen for a number of reasons, one of those reasons being that the bully could be feeling insecure about themselves, or not even realize they are bullying. It definitely does not make it okay, but it is important to remember that there are two sides to every coin. Because there are so many reasons people bully, though, I wouldn't be able to know for sure why some bullies become more aggressive. If you are being bullied, though, please make sure to report it!
October 12th, 2015 5:07pm
Because they want some fun and want to make fun of you and they think its an easy work more when you ask for peace.
October 25th, 2015 3:16pm
Because they dont respect you. You must put them at their place calmly, so they realise they cant step on you without getting burned anymore.
February 15th, 2016 5:59pm
Bullies tend to become more aggressive when you show them you just want peace because that is exactly what they don't want you to have. They don't feel at peace with themselves, so they don't want to let other feel at peace with themselves either.
April 12th, 2015 9:35am
I feel that the reason why this is, is because you are showing them that they can not control your feelings. So the begin to panic by lashing out in anger.
October 10th, 2015 4:54am
They are looking for a fight. If they don't get it they try harder for one. Tell a teacher or parent.
October 26th, 2015 5:35pm
Bullies become more aggressive because they feel like they aren't bothering you and they are trying to bother you. So instead of trying to make peace just ignore them. Tell a trusted adult. Come on 7 cups of tea and talk to one of us. We are here for you when you are down.
November 9th, 2015 1:44am
Bullies want you to be afraid and they want to have control. Showing them that you want peace shows them that they are getting the control that they crave so they continue in order to get more control.
June 21st, 2016 7:17am
Bullies are actually there to bother you because they gain pleasure out of it. When you negotiate with them, they take it to be your fear and they try to overpower you. Ignore them when necessary. Confront them when actually required.
August 2nd, 2016 11:57am
Because they grow stronger when you get infuriated or upset by them. They just want a reaction because they're seeking attention.
August 13th, 2019 5:24pm
I think that's because they can't stand the fact that you aren't responding to them in the way that they wish for you to do so. If you are showing them that you are fearful of them then they still have control of the situation however, once you take that from them they don't know how to show anything other than aggression towards you. Bullies tend to want to fight and if someone isn't wanting to respond by fear or fighting back then they have won. Peace isn't something that bullies tend to have much of because of their own insecurities so for someone to show them peace then they can't understand it.
December 10th, 2019 3:16pm
They want to make you angry, that is what they thrive on. Like a compensation for something in their life which is of no satisfaction in their life. When you what peace, that awakes negative emotions from the bullies subconscious signalling: "we do not like that behavior". This pattern need to change of course. I think it could begin with ones inner self-picture. Like are you a beggar or a king? One practice could be that you go to a crowded shopping mall and do a experiment. Imagine that you are a "nobody" and try to pass thru the crowd of people. You will most likely bump into a lot of people. Doing this again but with a mindset that you are a king or somebody important, but not arrogant! The change would probably much different ... Like the sea of the crowd is granting you a passage-way. Try it. Might need some practice though.
April 27th, 2020 6:16am
They get more aggressive when you show them more peace because they aren't getting the reaction they want to get out of you. Most people who bully are usually doing it because they feel lowly about themselves and they seek validation in making you feel a certain way, so going against what they are trying to achieve stimulates them in a negative way thus causing them to act in a more aggressive manner... it's a sad reality. Most people who bully are going through something that they aren't sure how to talk about or they aren't sure how to express themselves. If you are being bullied, remember to talk to someone.